Sunday, November 05, 2006
Taxi Ride
Twenty years ago, I drove a cab for a living. When I arrived at 2:30 a.m., the building was dark except for a single light in a ground floor window. Under these circumstances, many drivers would just honk once or twice, wait a minute, and then drive away.
But I had seen too many impoverished people who depended on taxis as their only means of transportation. Unless a situation smelled of danger, I always went to the door. This passenger might be someone who needs my assistance, I reasoned to myself.
So I walked to the door and knocked. "Just a minute", answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged across the floor.
After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 80's stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940s movie.
By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets.
There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknack s or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware.
"Would you carry my bag out to the car?" she said. I took the suitcase to the cab, then returned to assist the woman.
She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb.
She kept thanking me for my kindness. "It's nothing", I told her. "I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother treated".
"Oh, you're such a good boy", she said. When we got in the cab, she gave me an address, and then asked, "Could you drive through downtown?"
"It's not the shortest way," I answered quickly.
"Oh, I don't mind," she said. "I'm in no hurry. I'm on my way to a hospice".
I looked in the rear-view mirror. Her eyes were glistening. "I don't have any family left," she continued. "The doctor says I don't have very long." I quietly reached over and shut off the meter.
"What route would you like me to take?" I asked.
For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator.
We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds. She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl.
Sometimes she'd ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing.
As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, "I'm tired. Let's go now"
We drove in silence to the address she had given me.It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico.
Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move. They must have been expecting her.
I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair.
"How much do I owe you?" she asked, reaching into her purse.
"Nothing," I said
"You have to make a living," she answered. "There are other passengers," I responded. Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug. She held onto me tightly.
"You gave an old woman a little moment of joy," she said.
"Thank you."
I squeezed her hand, and then walked into the dim morning light. Behind me, a door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life
I didn't pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly lost in thought. For the rest of that day, I could hardly talk. What if that woman had gotten an angry driver, or one who was impatient to end his shift?
What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away?
On a quick review, I don't think that I have done anything more important in my life.
We're conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments.
But great moments often catch us unaware-beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.
PEOPLE MAY NOT REMEMBER EXACTLY WHAT 'YOU DID, OR WHAT YOU SAID, ~BUT~THEY WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER HOW YOU MADE THEM FEEL.
Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance.
Author Unknown
But I had seen too many impoverished people who depended on taxis as their only means of transportation. Unless a situation smelled of danger, I always went to the door. This passenger might be someone who needs my assistance, I reasoned to myself.
So I walked to the door and knocked. "Just a minute", answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged across the floor.
After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 80's stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940s movie.
By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets.
There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknack s or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware.
"Would you carry my bag out to the car?" she said. I took the suitcase to the cab, then returned to assist the woman.
She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb.
She kept thanking me for my kindness. "It's nothing", I told her. "I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother treated".
"Oh, you're such a good boy", she said. When we got in the cab, she gave me an address, and then asked, "Could you drive through downtown?"
"It's not the shortest way," I answered quickly.
"Oh, I don't mind," she said. "I'm in no hurry. I'm on my way to a hospice".
I looked in the rear-view mirror. Her eyes were glistening. "I don't have any family left," she continued. "The doctor says I don't have very long." I quietly reached over and shut off the meter.
"What route would you like me to take?" I asked.
For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator.
We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds. She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl.
Sometimes she'd ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing.
As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, "I'm tired. Let's go now"
We drove in silence to the address she had given me.It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico.
Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move. They must have been expecting her.
I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair.
"How much do I owe you?" she asked, reaching into her purse.
"Nothing," I said
"You have to make a living," she answered. "There are other passengers," I responded. Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug. She held onto me tightly.
"You gave an old woman a little moment of joy," she said.
"Thank you."
I squeezed her hand, and then walked into the dim morning light. Behind me, a door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life
I didn't pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly lost in thought. For the rest of that day, I could hardly talk. What if that woman had gotten an angry driver, or one who was impatient to end his shift?
What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away?
On a quick review, I don't think that I have done anything more important in my life.
We're conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments.
But great moments often catch us unaware-beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.
PEOPLE MAY NOT REMEMBER EXACTLY WHAT 'YOU DID, OR WHAT YOU SAID, ~BUT~THEY WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER HOW YOU MADE THEM FEEL.
Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance.
Author Unknown
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Slowdown Therapy
1. Slow down. You are not responsible for doing it all yourself, right now.
2. Remember a happy, peaceful time in your past. Rest there. Each moment has richness that takes a lifetime to savor.
3. Set your own pace. When someone is pushing you, it's OK to tell them they're pushing.
4. Take nothing for granted: watch water flow, the corn grow, the leaves blow, your neighbor mow.
5. Taste your food. Nature provides it to delight as well as to nourish.
6. Notice the sun and the moon as they rise and set. They are remarkable for their steady pattern of movement, not their speed.
7. Quit planning how you're going to use what you know, learn, or possess. Your gifts just are; be grateful and their purpose will be clear.
8. When you talk with someone, don't think about what you'll say next. Thoughts will spring up naturally if you let them.
9. Talk and play with children. It will bring out the unhurried little person inside you.
10. Create a place in your home, at your work, in your heart where you can go for quiet and recollection. You deserve it.
11. Allow yourself time to be lazy and unproductive. Rest isn't luxury; it's a necessity.
12. Listen to the wind blow. It carries a message of yesterday and tomorrow-and now. NOW counts.
13. Rest on your laurels. They bring comfort whatever their size, age, or condition.
14. Talk slower. Talk less. Don't talk. Communication isn't measured by words.
15. Give yourself permission to be late sometimes. Life is for living, not scheduling.
16. Listen to the song of a bird; the complete song. Music and nature are gifts, but only if you are willing to receive them.
17. Take time just to think. Action is good and necessary, but it's fruitful only if we muse, ponder, and mull.
18. Make time for play - the things you like to do. Whatever you r age, your inner child needs re-creation.
19. Watch and listen to the night sky. It speaks.
20. Listen to the words you speak, especially in prayer.
21. Learn to stand back and let others take their turn as leaders. There will always be new opportunities for you to step out in front again.
22. Divide big jobs into little jobs.
23. When you find yourself rushing and anxious, stop. Ask yourself "WHY?" you are rushing and anxious. The reasons may improve your self-understanding.
24. Take time to read. Thoughtful reading is enriching reading.
25. Direct your life with purposeful choices, not with speed and efficiency. The best musician is one who plays with expression and meaning, not the one who finishes first.
26. Take a day off alone; make a retreat. You can learn from monks and hermits without becoming one.
27. Pet a furry friend. You will give and get the gift of now.
28. Work with your hands. It frees the mind.
29. Take time to wonder. Without wonder, life is merely existence.
30. Sit in the dark. It will teach you to see and hear, taste and smell.
31. Once in a while, turn down the lights, the volume, the throttle, the invitations. Less really can be more.
32. Let go. Nothing is usually the hardest thing to do - but often it is the best.
33. Take a walk-but don't go anywhere. If you walk just to get somewhere, you sacrifice the walking.
34. Count your friends. If you have one, you are lucky. If you have more, you are blessed. Bless them in return.
35. Count your blessings - one at a time and slowly.
Unknown author
2. Remember a happy, peaceful time in your past. Rest there. Each moment has richness that takes a lifetime to savor.
3. Set your own pace. When someone is pushing you, it's OK to tell them they're pushing.
4. Take nothing for granted: watch water flow, the corn grow, the leaves blow, your neighbor mow.
5. Taste your food. Nature provides it to delight as well as to nourish.
6. Notice the sun and the moon as they rise and set. They are remarkable for their steady pattern of movement, not their speed.
7. Quit planning how you're going to use what you know, learn, or possess. Your gifts just are; be grateful and their purpose will be clear.
8. When you talk with someone, don't think about what you'll say next. Thoughts will spring up naturally if you let them.
9. Talk and play with children. It will bring out the unhurried little person inside you.
10. Create a place in your home, at your work, in your heart where you can go for quiet and recollection. You deserve it.
11. Allow yourself time to be lazy and unproductive. Rest isn't luxury; it's a necessity.
12. Listen to the wind blow. It carries a message of yesterday and tomorrow-and now. NOW counts.
13. Rest on your laurels. They bring comfort whatever their size, age, or condition.
14. Talk slower. Talk less. Don't talk. Communication isn't measured by words.
15. Give yourself permission to be late sometimes. Life is for living, not scheduling.
16. Listen to the song of a bird; the complete song. Music and nature are gifts, but only if you are willing to receive them.
17. Take time just to think. Action is good and necessary, but it's fruitful only if we muse, ponder, and mull.
18. Make time for play - the things you like to do. Whatever you r age, your inner child needs re-creation.
19. Watch and listen to the night sky. It speaks.
20. Listen to the words you speak, especially in prayer.
21. Learn to stand back and let others take their turn as leaders. There will always be new opportunities for you to step out in front again.
22. Divide big jobs into little jobs.
23. When you find yourself rushing and anxious, stop. Ask yourself "WHY?" you are rushing and anxious. The reasons may improve your self-understanding.
24. Take time to read. Thoughtful reading is enriching reading.
25. Direct your life with purposeful choices, not with speed and efficiency. The best musician is one who plays with expression and meaning, not the one who finishes first.
26. Take a day off alone; make a retreat. You can learn from monks and hermits without becoming one.
27. Pet a furry friend. You will give and get the gift of now.
28. Work with your hands. It frees the mind.
29. Take time to wonder. Without wonder, life is merely existence.
30. Sit in the dark. It will teach you to see and hear, taste and smell.
31. Once in a while, turn down the lights, the volume, the throttle, the invitations. Less really can be more.
32. Let go. Nothing is usually the hardest thing to do - but often it is the best.
33. Take a walk-but don't go anywhere. If you walk just to get somewhere, you sacrifice the walking.
34. Count your friends. If you have one, you are lucky. If you have more, you are blessed. Bless them in return.
35. Count your blessings - one at a time and slowly.
Unknown author
Sunday, October 29, 2006
The Art of Acceptance and Forgiveness
How many times you refused to heal a relationship because you were concerned that the other person would not change their ways? How many times you didn't do certain things because you were concerned about what other people would think about you? How many times you regretted not doing things for the same reason? How many times you felt absolutely paralyzed because you suspected people would fail you?
It is truly interesting, though very sad, to notice that sometimes we have certain problems in our relationships with others because we are worried or suspicious or terrified that the other person will not follow through or will fail to do and to think the same as we and so on and so forth.
We may say: Yes, I will do such and such for this person, but... What if my wife refuses to talk to me? What if my mum keeps drinking? What if my son doesn't stop getting stoned? What if my ex-husband takes me to court again? What if my daughter insists on continuing this affair? What if my boss fires me? What if my friend hangs up on me? What if...
The What Ifs seem endless. We have grown so accustomed to having things our way or no way, that we are not able to let go of our pre-conceived ideas and see the situations and circumstances as they are: opportunities to grow.
So you see yourself in a situation that is not too pleasant; in fact, you have been hurt and you don't like that one bit. You realize that your child has become an activist for a cause that you abhor, that your partner is having an affair, that your boss is neglecting you for a promotion, that your friend of many years has decided to divorce you, and so on. What do you do?
The situation requires acceptance and forgiveness. Can you accept and forgive without dwelling on the idea that it is truly none of your business whether the other person will mend the hole that is now part of your heart?
Can you accept and forgive knowing that it is only up to you to do your part to heal the relationship no matter what the other person does? Can you say to yourself: I will do my share of changing so that this relationship can be healed? If you can, then I have some suggestions for you. Every time you remember your heart's aches and/or you remember the person do the following (you don't have to say anything to them):
1. Bless them.
2. Be grateful for the gifts you have received from their heart.
3. Envelop them with a cocoon of pure white light.
4. Appreciate them (any little thing is fine)
5. Repeat: As I forgive you now, please, forgive me as well.
You will see that, in no time the shifts will begin to occur and at the end, you will be better off.
Want to have more love, abundance, health, time, fun, and prosperity? Visit Prescription For Bliss at http://www.rx4bliss.com, sign up for the newsletter and receive a fr*ee ebook called "Happy People Are More Abundant!" Dr. Maria Moratto is the author of "Want to Save Your Relationship? Know Your Man!" among other books. Visit her site to get fr*ee affirmation cards. Dr. Maria is available for Radio and Television Talk Shows, media interviews, and as a Guest Speaker at your events.You may reprint this article in its entirety as long as you add this resource box.© Maria Moratto 2006
It is truly interesting, though very sad, to notice that sometimes we have certain problems in our relationships with others because we are worried or suspicious or terrified that the other person will not follow through or will fail to do and to think the same as we and so on and so forth.
We may say: Yes, I will do such and such for this person, but... What if my wife refuses to talk to me? What if my mum keeps drinking? What if my son doesn't stop getting stoned? What if my ex-husband takes me to court again? What if my daughter insists on continuing this affair? What if my boss fires me? What if my friend hangs up on me? What if...
The What Ifs seem endless. We have grown so accustomed to having things our way or no way, that we are not able to let go of our pre-conceived ideas and see the situations and circumstances as they are: opportunities to grow.
So you see yourself in a situation that is not too pleasant; in fact, you have been hurt and you don't like that one bit. You realize that your child has become an activist for a cause that you abhor, that your partner is having an affair, that your boss is neglecting you for a promotion, that your friend of many years has decided to divorce you, and so on. What do you do?
The situation requires acceptance and forgiveness. Can you accept and forgive without dwelling on the idea that it is truly none of your business whether the other person will mend the hole that is now part of your heart?
Can you accept and forgive knowing that it is only up to you to do your part to heal the relationship no matter what the other person does? Can you say to yourself: I will do my share of changing so that this relationship can be healed? If you can, then I have some suggestions for you. Every time you remember your heart's aches and/or you remember the person do the following (you don't have to say anything to them):
1. Bless them.
2. Be grateful for the gifts you have received from their heart.
3. Envelop them with a cocoon of pure white light.
4. Appreciate them (any little thing is fine)
5. Repeat: As I forgive you now, please, forgive me as well.
You will see that, in no time the shifts will begin to occur and at the end, you will be better off.
Want to have more love, abundance, health, time, fun, and prosperity? Visit Prescription For Bliss at http://www.rx4bliss.com, sign up for the newsletter and receive a fr*ee ebook called "Happy People Are More Abundant!" Dr. Maria Moratto is the author of "Want to Save Your Relationship? Know Your Man!" among other books. Visit her site to get fr*ee affirmation cards. Dr. Maria is available for Radio and Television Talk Shows, media interviews, and as a Guest Speaker at your events.You may reprint this article in its entirety as long as you add this resource box.© Maria Moratto 2006
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
5 Ways to Happy Energy
Have you ever met someone who exudes “happy”? I’m not talking about over-the-top-in-your-face-they-make-you-a-little-uncomfortable happy. Just truly happy. You figure they must have been born that way, had things handed to them on a silver platter, don’t need to work for a living …
When it comes to happy people, I have a theory. These are people who know how to make specific choices regarding their thinking and behavior. They know how to CONSCIOUSLY choose to think and act in ways that result in happiness, and as a result, they are naturally fueled with energy, effortlessly.
Now, I must tell you that I spent a lot of time in my life displaying false happiness, and it left me pretty drained and exhausted. I’ve also spent a lot of time searching for peace and happiness (Hint: the answer isn’t in eating the “right” food). I still focus everyday on operating from a place of peace and happiness. From my own journey and discoveries I’m going to share with you 5 Ways to Happy Energy.
Positive Perspective
This is about the choice to see things differently. It takes focus and dedication. We are such creatures of habit, and not just in what we do but in how we think (Ever get caught up in INSISTING that you are right?) By being willing to take a different perspective, you are putting your loving adult self in charge and allowing yourself to be open to the wonderful possibilities that life has to offer – you know, the different stuff than what you’ve always done. Happy Energy people realize that the way they think is the beginning of a process that leads to the way they live. By thinking in positive ways, they move themselves to ACT in ways that bring about their dreams and desires.
Kindheartedness
Happy Energy people choose to be kind and compassionate to themselves and others. They are able to give from a place of joy rather than of obligation or because of what they expect to get in return. They don’t need to keep score. They also recognize that there are times when they must say “No,” and they do so without feeling guilty. They realize that their happiness is the RESULT of their caring behavior, not the CAUSE of it.
Courage
There is a lot of power in acting with courage. Happy Energy people realize that playing it safe actually makes them unhappy, so they choose to push their humanness and stretch their courageous muscles. Even though it might be difficult at the time, they trust that the payoff will be worth it, so they keep going for the new and look for ways to take beneficial risks. They also recognize that everyone in their life might not support this courageous behavior. They’re ok with that. Happy people recognize that another's reaction is really about that other person.
Receiving
If you really want a change to happen in your life, you have to be able to receive it. Happy Energy people realize this and embrace when they are given something instead of poo-pooing it away (Oh, really, it was nothing.), not taking credit when it is given (I hardly did a thing; Julie’s really the creative one) or worse, right-out refusing (This old thing? It cost under $2.00). This goes for everything from compliments to gifts to opportunities. A Happy Energy person knows that they are worth all the good that comes their way and that by receiving good (over bad), they have more to pass on to others.
Appreciation
A Gratitude Attitude brings blessings. Happy Energy people often express appreciation for the everyday things in their lives – the beauty of nature (something as simple as the sun), the food they eat (no use in beating yourself up about your food), all the good things ... I encourage you to make a list. I’ll bet you’ll be surprised at how much you have that you truly appreciate. Make the list and check-in to see if you feel lighter … and happier.
No matter what we have going on in our lives, we always have the choice to choose happiness. I used to get so angry when I would hear things like that – don’t tell me to be happy, I’m miserable. Then one day, things were so bad I figured I had to start somewhere, so I chose to just take 5 seconds to think about something that made me happy. I was floored by the results. You can be, too. Create true authentic happiness for yourself and watch the change in your energy 5 seconds at a time.
Heather Dominick, “The Energy Expert” is an energy specialist with over 10 years of teaching and coaching experience. Heather’s primary focus is in helping others identify sources for increasing energy and making successful business and lifestyle changes. To sign up to receive your free chapter and audio from the e-Book "Get EnergyRICH™", for her freebie how-to articles and no-charge teleclasses on creating your most energized life, visit
http://www.energyrichcoach.com
When it comes to happy people, I have a theory. These are people who know how to make specific choices regarding their thinking and behavior. They know how to CONSCIOUSLY choose to think and act in ways that result in happiness, and as a result, they are naturally fueled with energy, effortlessly.
Now, I must tell you that I spent a lot of time in my life displaying false happiness, and it left me pretty drained and exhausted. I’ve also spent a lot of time searching for peace and happiness (Hint: the answer isn’t in eating the “right” food). I still focus everyday on operating from a place of peace and happiness. From my own journey and discoveries I’m going to share with you 5 Ways to Happy Energy.
Positive Perspective
This is about the choice to see things differently. It takes focus and dedication. We are such creatures of habit, and not just in what we do but in how we think (Ever get caught up in INSISTING that you are right?) By being willing to take a different perspective, you are putting your loving adult self in charge and allowing yourself to be open to the wonderful possibilities that life has to offer – you know, the different stuff than what you’ve always done. Happy Energy people realize that the way they think is the beginning of a process that leads to the way they live. By thinking in positive ways, they move themselves to ACT in ways that bring about their dreams and desires.
Kindheartedness
Happy Energy people choose to be kind and compassionate to themselves and others. They are able to give from a place of joy rather than of obligation or because of what they expect to get in return. They don’t need to keep score. They also recognize that there are times when they must say “No,” and they do so without feeling guilty. They realize that their happiness is the RESULT of their caring behavior, not the CAUSE of it.
Courage
There is a lot of power in acting with courage. Happy Energy people realize that playing it safe actually makes them unhappy, so they choose to push their humanness and stretch their courageous muscles. Even though it might be difficult at the time, they trust that the payoff will be worth it, so they keep going for the new and look for ways to take beneficial risks. They also recognize that everyone in their life might not support this courageous behavior. They’re ok with that. Happy people recognize that another's reaction is really about that other person.
Receiving
If you really want a change to happen in your life, you have to be able to receive it. Happy Energy people realize this and embrace when they are given something instead of poo-pooing it away (Oh, really, it was nothing.), not taking credit when it is given (I hardly did a thing; Julie’s really the creative one) or worse, right-out refusing (This old thing? It cost under $2.00). This goes for everything from compliments to gifts to opportunities. A Happy Energy person knows that they are worth all the good that comes their way and that by receiving good (over bad), they have more to pass on to others.
Appreciation
A Gratitude Attitude brings blessings. Happy Energy people often express appreciation for the everyday things in their lives – the beauty of nature (something as simple as the sun), the food they eat (no use in beating yourself up about your food), all the good things ... I encourage you to make a list. I’ll bet you’ll be surprised at how much you have that you truly appreciate. Make the list and check-in to see if you feel lighter … and happier.
No matter what we have going on in our lives, we always have the choice to choose happiness. I used to get so angry when I would hear things like that – don’t tell me to be happy, I’m miserable. Then one day, things were so bad I figured I had to start somewhere, so I chose to just take 5 seconds to think about something that made me happy. I was floored by the results. You can be, too. Create true authentic happiness for yourself and watch the change in your energy 5 seconds at a time.
Heather Dominick, “The Energy Expert” is an energy specialist with over 10 years of teaching and coaching experience. Heather’s primary focus is in helping others identify sources for increasing energy and making successful business and lifestyle changes. To sign up to receive your free chapter and audio from the e-Book "Get EnergyRICH™", for her freebie how-to articles and no-charge teleclasses on creating your most energized life, visit
http://www.energyrichcoach.com
Monday, October 23, 2006
Family: 10 Simple Ways to Show You Love A Child
It is not enough for parents, step parents and extended family to feel a deep glow of love for the children in your circle of influence. You must convey that feeling into a message that is heard, felt and integrated by the child. Children need to be told both verbally and non-verbally how much they are valued for just being them.
As I interviewed children for my latest book Raise a Confident Child, I was struck by how many children thought their parent’s love was tied to their performance, character or behavior. As Jeremy told me “When ever I score at soccer, my dad really loves me, when I don’t win, I’m not really sure.”
As I teach in parenting classes across the country, many people ask me what they can do to have stronger families and more harmony at home. My answer is in the non-verbal clues we give our children. Verbal communication is the language of information and much of that is spent in lecturing, teaching and correcting our children. No wonder they tune most of it out. Studies have shown we remember only 10—20% of what we hear.
Non-verbal communication is the language of relationships
The non verbal clues are remembered and believed 80-90% of the time. So even if you do tell your children you love them, do you show them how precious they are to you? Do your actions demonstrate that your love and acceptance is not conditional upon their school grades, soccer goals or manners at the table?
Below are 8 simple ways to express your love and appreciation to and for your child. Note I did not say easy, because any positive change in behavior is hard, but the end result is well worth the effort.. Good luck.
Play games together. From the earliest months of your baby’s life, it came natural to play peek-a-boo when changing a diaper, or airplane when trying to get food into your toddler’s mouth. As children get less dependent on us, we forget to play silly games to hold their attention. Bring out the board games and turn off the TV, or play tag in the backyard. Do not allow competition or winning become more important than just being together.
Read with or to them at least 20 minutes daily. Children, even a few months old are comforted and soothed by the sound and rhythm of your voice as you read to them. The most important sounds a child can hear come from his parents and care-givers. When you read to children, you share such an important message for them, that you value reading and learning. Snuggling up and reading every day before bedtime or while dinner is cooking should continue, even after the children can read by themselves. We found the best way to curtail arguments while the after-dinner chores were being done, was to read aloud. Good stories provide problem solving experiences and allow children to look at events in their own lives from a different perspective. Turn off the TV and turn on the imagination as you read together.
Start and end each day on a positive note. Remember to use body language to indicate approval. A hug, high five, pat on the back or smile says so much without saying anything verbal .It has been said that eyes are the windows of our souls. If that is indeed true, and I think it is, make sure your eyes always say “hello, I’m glad to see you and I am glad you are in my life.” Recognize when your child is helpful and cooperative. Many times we take it for granted when our children do their chores without being reminded, are pleasant to the family and write down messages. However, we only react, sometimes loudly and with negative body language, when the message wasn’t given, the chore wasn’t done quickly enough or the attitude is less than approachable.
Try complimenting them at least once a day. Think of it like a daily vitamin, they may not need the supplementation today, but then again they might. Don’t let a day go by without letting them know how much they are appreciated and loved. A wonderful ritual a blended family we know does is recite to children individually each night count off on their fingers a list of all the people in their lives that love them. They end with saying, “You are such a blessed and lucky person, look how many people love and care about you.”
Truly listen to them. One of the most effective ways to show a child you love him or her is to pay attention when they are talking. Be empathic while accepting your child’s feelings and try to maintain eye contact or touch their arm while they are sharing with you. Children are often deeply upset over things that seem pretty trivial to adults. When we brush off or trivialize their concerns it feels like a rejection of him personally.
Have family meetings. It is good to remember a family is an organization. In fact, it is the basic organization of society. This is just one of the reasons I am such a proponent of family meetings. You wouldn’t think of running a successful business without a plan, goal setting meetings, team building sessions and clear missions and expectations. For more information on how to set up family meetings see www.ArtichokePress.com .
Develop love touches and signals. The safest touch your new baby has is you. Let him feel your cheek against his sweet little head; rub his legs and arms when you change his diaper. As children grow older, surround them with love in the form of hugs, kisses, holding hands when taking a walk or even winking at them when they look at you. Develop love signals for children as they begin to draw away from displays of affection in public. Perhaps your family gives high fives, touches thumbs, or squeezes each other’s hands quickly to show you are all on the same team.
Keep a list of reasons you admire them. Sometimes the very things that irritate us the most with children are the strengths they will need to succeed in life. We have to recognize that a stubborn child will turn into a tenacious adult, eventually.
Separate the deed from the doer. Remember it is the behavior that we find unacceptable not the child. There is a big difference between the two and when we are angry, we tend to lump them together. Just because John takes money from the dresser does not make him a thief. It makes him a boy who made a bad decision and needs to learn that it is not acceptable to take money or anything else from anyone without permission.
Don’t make it or take it personal. All families have squabbles and all children say they wish their parents and caregivers were more lenient, generous or understanding. We all try to do the best we can with what we have been given, but we are the adults and must make sure that no matter what the children have given or called us, that we give them guidance, love, discipline and respect. It is our obligation to set consistent boundaries and to assist them in growing into self-directed, contributing members of society.
So often we do what is called unconscious parenting, just getting through the day. It is not that we don't love our family; it is just that the love sometimes gets lost in the translation through poor communications or unskillful methods. I would like to challenge you to be more conscious in the words and actions that affect the children in your circle of influence. Hopefully, you will find some techniques here that will assist you in your efforts.
You do the most important work in the world. Thank you for being a parent.
© Judy H. Wright
Parent educator and PBS “Ready to Learn” consultant, Judy H. Wright works with Head Start staff, child care resource centers, schools and parent organizations internationally. As a powerful and popular presenter for adults who work with children, Judy’s also authored over twenty books. For more information on books, clients and testimonials or to book Judy for your next event, call 1-406-549-9813or go to www.ArtichokePress.com. She is a founding member of Montana Speakers Network and is a regional representative for National Association for Women Writers as well as parent expert at www.ClubMom.com /
As I interviewed children for my latest book Raise a Confident Child, I was struck by how many children thought their parent’s love was tied to their performance, character or behavior. As Jeremy told me “When ever I score at soccer, my dad really loves me, when I don’t win, I’m not really sure.”
As I teach in parenting classes across the country, many people ask me what they can do to have stronger families and more harmony at home. My answer is in the non-verbal clues we give our children. Verbal communication is the language of information and much of that is spent in lecturing, teaching and correcting our children. No wonder they tune most of it out. Studies have shown we remember only 10—20% of what we hear.
Non-verbal communication is the language of relationships
The non verbal clues are remembered and believed 80-90% of the time. So even if you do tell your children you love them, do you show them how precious they are to you? Do your actions demonstrate that your love and acceptance is not conditional upon their school grades, soccer goals or manners at the table?
Below are 8 simple ways to express your love and appreciation to and for your child. Note I did not say easy, because any positive change in behavior is hard, but the end result is well worth the effort.. Good luck.
Play games together. From the earliest months of your baby’s life, it came natural to play peek-a-boo when changing a diaper, or airplane when trying to get food into your toddler’s mouth. As children get less dependent on us, we forget to play silly games to hold their attention. Bring out the board games and turn off the TV, or play tag in the backyard. Do not allow competition or winning become more important than just being together.
Read with or to them at least 20 minutes daily. Children, even a few months old are comforted and soothed by the sound and rhythm of your voice as you read to them. The most important sounds a child can hear come from his parents and care-givers. When you read to children, you share such an important message for them, that you value reading and learning. Snuggling up and reading every day before bedtime or while dinner is cooking should continue, even after the children can read by themselves. We found the best way to curtail arguments while the after-dinner chores were being done, was to read aloud. Good stories provide problem solving experiences and allow children to look at events in their own lives from a different perspective. Turn off the TV and turn on the imagination as you read together.
Start and end each day on a positive note. Remember to use body language to indicate approval. A hug, high five, pat on the back or smile says so much without saying anything verbal .It has been said that eyes are the windows of our souls. If that is indeed true, and I think it is, make sure your eyes always say “hello, I’m glad to see you and I am glad you are in my life.” Recognize when your child is helpful and cooperative. Many times we take it for granted when our children do their chores without being reminded, are pleasant to the family and write down messages. However, we only react, sometimes loudly and with negative body language, when the message wasn’t given, the chore wasn’t done quickly enough or the attitude is less than approachable.
Try complimenting them at least once a day. Think of it like a daily vitamin, they may not need the supplementation today, but then again they might. Don’t let a day go by without letting them know how much they are appreciated and loved. A wonderful ritual a blended family we know does is recite to children individually each night count off on their fingers a list of all the people in their lives that love them. They end with saying, “You are such a blessed and lucky person, look how many people love and care about you.”
Truly listen to them. One of the most effective ways to show a child you love him or her is to pay attention when they are talking. Be empathic while accepting your child’s feelings and try to maintain eye contact or touch their arm while they are sharing with you. Children are often deeply upset over things that seem pretty trivial to adults. When we brush off or trivialize their concerns it feels like a rejection of him personally.
Have family meetings. It is good to remember a family is an organization. In fact, it is the basic organization of society. This is just one of the reasons I am such a proponent of family meetings. You wouldn’t think of running a successful business without a plan, goal setting meetings, team building sessions and clear missions and expectations. For more information on how to set up family meetings see www.ArtichokePress.com .
Develop love touches and signals. The safest touch your new baby has is you. Let him feel your cheek against his sweet little head; rub his legs and arms when you change his diaper. As children grow older, surround them with love in the form of hugs, kisses, holding hands when taking a walk or even winking at them when they look at you. Develop love signals for children as they begin to draw away from displays of affection in public. Perhaps your family gives high fives, touches thumbs, or squeezes each other’s hands quickly to show you are all on the same team.
Keep a list of reasons you admire them. Sometimes the very things that irritate us the most with children are the strengths they will need to succeed in life. We have to recognize that a stubborn child will turn into a tenacious adult, eventually.
Separate the deed from the doer. Remember it is the behavior that we find unacceptable not the child. There is a big difference between the two and when we are angry, we tend to lump them together. Just because John takes money from the dresser does not make him a thief. It makes him a boy who made a bad decision and needs to learn that it is not acceptable to take money or anything else from anyone without permission.
Don’t make it or take it personal. All families have squabbles and all children say they wish their parents and caregivers were more lenient, generous or understanding. We all try to do the best we can with what we have been given, but we are the adults and must make sure that no matter what the children have given or called us, that we give them guidance, love, discipline and respect. It is our obligation to set consistent boundaries and to assist them in growing into self-directed, contributing members of society.
So often we do what is called unconscious parenting, just getting through the day. It is not that we don't love our family; it is just that the love sometimes gets lost in the translation through poor communications or unskillful methods. I would like to challenge you to be more conscious in the words and actions that affect the children in your circle of influence. Hopefully, you will find some techniques here that will assist you in your efforts.
You do the most important work in the world. Thank you for being a parent.
© Judy H. Wright
Parent educator and PBS “Ready to Learn” consultant, Judy H. Wright works with Head Start staff, child care resource centers, schools and parent organizations internationally. As a powerful and popular presenter for adults who work with children, Judy’s also authored over twenty books. For more information on books, clients and testimonials or to book Judy for your next event, call 1-406-549-9813or go to www.ArtichokePress.com. She is a founding member of Montana Speakers Network and is a regional representative for National Association for Women Writers as well as parent expert at www.ClubMom.com /
Sunday, October 22, 2006
I Forgive, a self-counsel to start your day!
I forgive myself for everything I held against myself by remembering and reminding myself over and over of all the hurt I carried all these years. I am free, no longer imprisoned in a world of my subjective troubling memories.
As I forgive myself, I penetrate the layers of the unconscious and impress it with a new blueprint -- that of acceptance, beauty, abundance and love. I plant new seeds for the continual growth of my mental powers.
I forgive myself and everyone who has played a part in my movie of life whereby I cast them as an extra.....yes, I cast them...and they replicated roles unworthy of their true character.
Armed with forgiveness, I choose to stop re-enacting unhappy scenes from the past. I forgive before I fall asleep, and I forgive before my eyes look on this new day. And as I forgive I remove my spiritual blinders and open the windows of my soul to all the riches of life.
I have made a decision. I choose to re-imagine, re-frame, rewrite, and re-edit my life rather than recast and rerun the old negative TV series and radio broadcasts on the screen of my mind. Yes, today I go cold turkey.
I am discovering that the All-Originating Love is the only creative power in all world-systems. I am realizing that all of my erroneous thoughts and actions to which my feelings gave rise never separated me from Divine Love.
I now make the first move towards reconciliation and am brought into conscious realization of that reciprocal communication with the Source of Life.
Infinite Love is the essence of my true being. I feel renewed, uplifted, and released.
Each and every time I focus my thoughts on worthwhile goals, I feel a river of peace surge through me. I have confidence in the Healer Within to restore a perfect balance in all and through all. As a result of this shift in awareness, I walk away from old conversations about lack and avoid what for me alone is negative to my heart and mind.
I am willingly surrendering all sense of worthlessness, powerlessness, and helplessness. Yes, I am giving up all memories that are negative or hurtful for something positive, abundantly delightful, and healthful. That would be ME.
How good it feels to move beyond past memories, childhood mistakes and confusion. I have my dream-seeds in hand. I choose to replant, fertilize, and nurture the love within myself. I choose wholeness of mind. I choose happiness.
I am a child of the I AM, an "heir according to the promise." I live in an imaginal universe capable of using the laws of the unseen side of things. As I look around at the world it becomes a testimony to the stability of the foundation on which my dream is based.
Today I renew my relationship with all of life. I begin a fresh, positive dialogue with those I meet. I rise up in imagination. I give thanks for my triumphant way of living. I walk in the direction of the fulfillment of my dream. I am so grateful and happy that I choose to practice the art of forgiving!
Melissa Zollo : Author of "Discover the Power of Imagination" and How to Unleash the Power Within and Attract Money. Her website is www.presentmemory.com Sign up for her free newsletter.
As I forgive myself, I penetrate the layers of the unconscious and impress it with a new blueprint -- that of acceptance, beauty, abundance and love. I plant new seeds for the continual growth of my mental powers.
I forgive myself and everyone who has played a part in my movie of life whereby I cast them as an extra.....yes, I cast them...and they replicated roles unworthy of their true character.
Armed with forgiveness, I choose to stop re-enacting unhappy scenes from the past. I forgive before I fall asleep, and I forgive before my eyes look on this new day. And as I forgive I remove my spiritual blinders and open the windows of my soul to all the riches of life.
I have made a decision. I choose to re-imagine, re-frame, rewrite, and re-edit my life rather than recast and rerun the old negative TV series and radio broadcasts on the screen of my mind. Yes, today I go cold turkey.
I am discovering that the All-Originating Love is the only creative power in all world-systems. I am realizing that all of my erroneous thoughts and actions to which my feelings gave rise never separated me from Divine Love.
I now make the first move towards reconciliation and am brought into conscious realization of that reciprocal communication with the Source of Life.
Infinite Love is the essence of my true being. I feel renewed, uplifted, and released.
Each and every time I focus my thoughts on worthwhile goals, I feel a river of peace surge through me. I have confidence in the Healer Within to restore a perfect balance in all and through all. As a result of this shift in awareness, I walk away from old conversations about lack and avoid what for me alone is negative to my heart and mind.
I am willingly surrendering all sense of worthlessness, powerlessness, and helplessness. Yes, I am giving up all memories that are negative or hurtful for something positive, abundantly delightful, and healthful. That would be ME.
How good it feels to move beyond past memories, childhood mistakes and confusion. I have my dream-seeds in hand. I choose to replant, fertilize, and nurture the love within myself. I choose wholeness of mind. I choose happiness.
I am a child of the I AM, an "heir according to the promise." I live in an imaginal universe capable of using the laws of the unseen side of things. As I look around at the world it becomes a testimony to the stability of the foundation on which my dream is based.
Today I renew my relationship with all of life. I begin a fresh, positive dialogue with those I meet. I rise up in imagination. I give thanks for my triumphant way of living. I walk in the direction of the fulfillment of my dream. I am so grateful and happy that I choose to practice the art of forgiving!
Melissa Zollo : Author of "Discover the Power of Imagination" and How to Unleash the Power Within and Attract Money. Her website is www.presentmemory.com Sign up for her free newsletter.
Inviting Articles
I would like to invite anyone who has a
good article, to share it here in this blog,
as long as they are related to self-improvement.
Please, send the articles with your name,
web address, and phone number to:
articles@rx4bliss.com
and I will post it for you.
Thanks!
good article, to share it here in this blog,
as long as they are related to self-improvement.
Please, send the articles with your name,
web address, and phone number to:
articles@rx4bliss.com
and I will post it for you.
Thanks!
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
Guilt, Peace, Worry: Which Do Your Prefer?
During our lives we carry with us many different feelings which vary from the very negative to the very positive. Depending on our state of mind we have a recurrence of one or the other.
Of all the feelings that are available to us, there are three that we face all the time. These 3 have many variations in intensity and all but they can be summarized as: guilt, peace, and worry.
Let’s examine these three.
1. Guilt and/or regret
These are mostly related to something that we have done in the past, though it is possible that a person may feel guilty by anticipation. For example, you know that what a future action is going to harm or disappoint someone but you do it anyway. This anticipated guilt is very common among parents. By and large, you feel guilt for something you have or haven’t done in the past. You regret a past action or the lack of it thereof.
You regret that you ate that piece of cake, that you didn't learn that language or that instrument, that you never attended college, that you didn't write that book, that you didn't give more love to your pet, that you sat all day in front of the tube...
You feel guilty because you didn't call someone, because you didn't go that party, because you spent too much money, because you crashed your car, because you fell in love with the wrong person, because you didn't give your child something (anything), because you put your parents in a home, because...
Regrets and guilt are immobilizing. We feel stuck to go forward. We walk on mud and carry the burden of the past with us.
2. Worry and/or fear
These are feelings that happen in the present but are directly related to the future. We worry about and fear things that have not happened yet. This is our "monkey mind" at its best. Monkey mind says: "You can’t afford this, watch out for that car, how you will be able to pay this bill? You will never get well"...
And you say: "I am afraid of this exam. I am afraid I will get fat if I eat this, I am afraid she won’t like me, I am afraid to climb that hill, I am afraid to speak in front of all these people, I am afraid my business will fail, I am afraid I won’t have money to pay my bills"...
Our mind doesn’t play around. The worries and the fears are only very real. The result is that we keep sending these negative vibes today, only to receive more of the same tomorrow.
3. Peace and joy
Peace of mind is only guaranteed today. So is joy. Those are feelings that we feel today, this very moment. We can wish we will be at peace tomorrow and we can remember having had peace yesterday, but the feeling in now.
The similarity between the three types of feeling is that they are all felt today. However, only peace and joy are positive feelings that will make us happier.
What is the point of worrying about the past and have this anxiety and fear about the future? Can we do anything about them? Do they present any solution to the events in our lives? Are they making us happier? Do they make us move forward? Do they make us feel good? Do they inspire us? Do they help increase our hope and trust that the world is a good place to be and that our lives are worth living?
They don’t. So, every time you catch yourself having or the other, acknowledge it to satisfy your conscious mind and immediately say something like this: "I am undisturbed by appearances. All is well and I am safe." And go about your day in peace and joy.
Of all the feelings that are available to us, there are three that we face all the time. These 3 have many variations in intensity and all but they can be summarized as: guilt, peace, and worry.
Let’s examine these three.
1. Guilt and/or regret
These are mostly related to something that we have done in the past, though it is possible that a person may feel guilty by anticipation. For example, you know that what a future action is going to harm or disappoint someone but you do it anyway. This anticipated guilt is very common among parents. By and large, you feel guilt for something you have or haven’t done in the past. You regret a past action or the lack of it thereof.
You regret that you ate that piece of cake, that you didn't learn that language or that instrument, that you never attended college, that you didn't write that book, that you didn't give more love to your pet, that you sat all day in front of the tube...
You feel guilty because you didn't call someone, because you didn't go that party, because you spent too much money, because you crashed your car, because you fell in love with the wrong person, because you didn't give your child something (anything), because you put your parents in a home, because...
Regrets and guilt are immobilizing. We feel stuck to go forward. We walk on mud and carry the burden of the past with us.
2. Worry and/or fear
These are feelings that happen in the present but are directly related to the future. We worry about and fear things that have not happened yet. This is our "monkey mind" at its best. Monkey mind says: "You can’t afford this, watch out for that car, how you will be able to pay this bill? You will never get well"...
And you say: "I am afraid of this exam. I am afraid I will get fat if I eat this, I am afraid she won’t like me, I am afraid to climb that hill, I am afraid to speak in front of all these people, I am afraid my business will fail, I am afraid I won’t have money to pay my bills"...
Our mind doesn’t play around. The worries and the fears are only very real. The result is that we keep sending these negative vibes today, only to receive more of the same tomorrow.
3. Peace and joy
Peace of mind is only guaranteed today. So is joy. Those are feelings that we feel today, this very moment. We can wish we will be at peace tomorrow and we can remember having had peace yesterday, but the feeling in now.
The similarity between the three types of feeling is that they are all felt today. However, only peace and joy are positive feelings that will make us happier.
What is the point of worrying about the past and have this anxiety and fear about the future? Can we do anything about them? Do they present any solution to the events in our lives? Are they making us happier? Do they make us move forward? Do they make us feel good? Do they inspire us? Do they help increase our hope and trust that the world is a good place to be and that our lives are worth living?
They don’t. So, every time you catch yourself having or the other, acknowledge it to satisfy your conscious mind and immediately say something like this: "I am undisturbed by appearances. All is well and I am safe." And go about your day in peace and joy.
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
The Walk Through
The day was beautiful. The sun was shining and the breeze was cool. We arrived at the school at 10:30 or so.
Alex joined his class and I joined the parents. I noticed that all the parents had flowers and I didn't. Shucks. I forgot. No problem.
I asked one who had a bunch of bunches and she sold me one. Great. I now had a bunch of white carnations that I could give my son, his best friends, and my ex-students.
Soon, it was time for us to start the Walk Through. This is what the Sacramento Waldorf School calls the last day of school for the seniors. It is their time to say good-bye to all the classes, teachers, and parents, and hence, have a closing to their many years at the school. I understand that SWS is the only Waldorf School which has such a rite of passage. Lucky us!
Anyway, we all follow the class of 2006 into the garden that belongs to the Kindergarten. There they were, waiting and holding a flower.
The seniors formed a circle and the small children all wearing a flower garland that they had made, recited a verse and sang a song, in a typical way of kindergarteners. I remember when Alex was that little, his teacher asked: what is it with this vibrato when he sings? She never knew what a powerful soprano he was to become until his voice changed at age 14 or so. He still can do a great falsetto.
Anyway. After they received the flowers from the small children and were leaving the grounds of the Kindergarten, we parents spontaneously formed a tunnel for our children to pass under. It was very powerful and symbolic.
Then they went to the Lower School. Because the classes are very small and this is the biggest class ever to attend a Waldorf High School in this country, there was no way that the 46 of them, plus the parents, plus the other children's parents would fit in each classroom.
To make sure that the walk would still be a beautiful experience, the teachers decided that the children from all the grades would form a walkway under the veranda that connects all the classrooms.
So from both sides, there was a line of about 200 children or so holding roses and other flowers. It was a sight to see. The line started with 1st graders and ended with the 8th graders and that meant that we could see the line slanting upwards, according to the children's age and height. Beautiful.
So here come the seniors and at the end of each class they stopped their walk and the class teacher made a little good-bye speech and the children presented them with songs and verses. Each song was related to whatever the theme of the grade was. So they comprise among others of native, Hebrew, folk, animal and earth songs.
And after their song, they gave each senior a flower. Two things were abundant during this passage: tears and flowers. Not one senior walked through with dry eyes. Parents, likewise. The flowers were just beautiful. They were so many and the scent so powerful that it put us in a state of awe. There were also a Rumi poem and Beatles songs.
The last song was sung by the High School, who then made another path for the seniors that led to the school big canopy where the school assembles at the beginning and end of the school year. "Let It Be" it was. And now there were hugs and tears and good-byes in profusion, for they were all the HS friends.
After that, forming the lines were the HS teachers. More tears and more hugs. And finally we, the parents.
So ended the walk; the whole school gathered beneath the canopy. All the classes were sitting on the ground according to grade. The seniors in line came up to the set of stairs that replace a stage. They were all hugging their flowers, oh so colorful and so fragrant! And there they were applauded as if they have just finished a most brilliant performance. I'd say they have.
At last, the bell started to ring, the whole school stood up and were led by the seniors in one of their verse which is said every day during their school life. So this was the last bell that the seniors heard and the last time they said their verse.
To wonder at beauty,
Stand guard over truth,
Look up to the noble,
Decide for the good;
Leads man on his journey
To goals for his life,
To right in his duties,
To peace in his feeling,
To light in his thought,
And teaches him trust
In the guidance of God
In all that there is;
In the world-wide all,
In the soul's deep soil.
Then the classes left and the seniors remained for last pictures. I didn't take any. Figured that I might as well enjoy this last day and keep it in my heart.
As I already said, I was sobbing. After all, this is also the end of my Waldorf School years. Will there be more talking of gnomes and fairies? Will there be birthday verses? Will there be morning verses?
Will there be home-made bread and soup? Would I hear beautiful music and see more beautiful grounds than those of the Waldorf School campuses? Will I see more beautiful work of art on the walls and artifacts on display? Will there be candles on the table? Will there be nature tables expressing every passing season? Will there be blessings before the meals?
Will I hear the teachers singing when they call the children? Will I see such artistic drawings on the blackboards? Will I see square crayons and beeswax modeling "clay"? Will I see scarves knitted in wool and embroidered napkins? Will I see knitted cases for their recorders? Will I see shields and hear Micael's song in defeating the dragon? Will I sip hot cider and walk with a lantern to welcome the dark months of winter? Will I celebrate May Day and see dancing around the Maypole? Will I walk the perilous path during Halloween? Will I celebrate Advent with candles and walks?
Will I hear the faculty sing to the student and parent body? Will I see the beautiful Main Lesson Books? Will I hear inspired verses and songs created by my son? Will I hear him sing with that powerful soprano voice of his? Will I read well written and interpreted adnd mature research papers? Will I see my son wear slippers while he moves to Eurhythmy? Will I see teachers hugging my son because he needs nurturing? Will I see teachers playing with my son? Will my son teach me what he is learning? Will I pack lunches?
Will my life be surrounded by such beauty and love?
My gratitude to the Waldorf Schools that embraced Alex and for the Waldorf education that sculpted his soul transforming him into this beautiful human being that he is, is unlimited. From now on I say: I may have done terrible things while raising Alex. But the Waldorf Education is the best gift I could bestow him.
Though I may not ready to let him go, he is absolutely ready to take his first steps towards the world, forever wondering at beauty, standing guard over truth, looking up to the noble, and deciding on the good.
May God bless you and illumine your life, son of mine. I will be silently walking with you forever.
Alex joined his class and I joined the parents. I noticed that all the parents had flowers and I didn't. Shucks. I forgot. No problem.
I asked one who had a bunch of bunches and she sold me one. Great. I now had a bunch of white carnations that I could give my son, his best friends, and my ex-students.
Soon, it was time for us to start the Walk Through. This is what the Sacramento Waldorf School calls the last day of school for the seniors. It is their time to say good-bye to all the classes, teachers, and parents, and hence, have a closing to their many years at the school. I understand that SWS is the only Waldorf School which has such a rite of passage. Lucky us!
Anyway, we all follow the class of 2006 into the garden that belongs to the Kindergarten. There they were, waiting and holding a flower.
The seniors formed a circle and the small children all wearing a flower garland that they had made, recited a verse and sang a song, in a typical way of kindergarteners. I remember when Alex was that little, his teacher asked: what is it with this vibrato when he sings? She never knew what a powerful soprano he was to become until his voice changed at age 14 or so. He still can do a great falsetto.
Anyway. After they received the flowers from the small children and were leaving the grounds of the Kindergarten, we parents spontaneously formed a tunnel for our children to pass under. It was very powerful and symbolic.
Then they went to the Lower School. Because the classes are very small and this is the biggest class ever to attend a Waldorf High School in this country, there was no way that the 46 of them, plus the parents, plus the other children's parents would fit in each classroom.
To make sure that the walk would still be a beautiful experience, the teachers decided that the children from all the grades would form a walkway under the veranda that connects all the classrooms.
So from both sides, there was a line of about 200 children or so holding roses and other flowers. It was a sight to see. The line started with 1st graders and ended with the 8th graders and that meant that we could see the line slanting upwards, according to the children's age and height. Beautiful.
So here come the seniors and at the end of each class they stopped their walk and the class teacher made a little good-bye speech and the children presented them with songs and verses. Each song was related to whatever the theme of the grade was. So they comprise among others of native, Hebrew, folk, animal and earth songs.
And after their song, they gave each senior a flower. Two things were abundant during this passage: tears and flowers. Not one senior walked through with dry eyes. Parents, likewise. The flowers were just beautiful. They were so many and the scent so powerful that it put us in a state of awe. There were also a Rumi poem and Beatles songs.
The last song was sung by the High School, who then made another path for the seniors that led to the school big canopy where the school assembles at the beginning and end of the school year. "Let It Be" it was. And now there were hugs and tears and good-byes in profusion, for they were all the HS friends.
After that, forming the lines were the HS teachers. More tears and more hugs. And finally we, the parents.
So ended the walk; the whole school gathered beneath the canopy. All the classes were sitting on the ground according to grade. The seniors in line came up to the set of stairs that replace a stage. They were all hugging their flowers, oh so colorful and so fragrant! And there they were applauded as if they have just finished a most brilliant performance. I'd say they have.
At last, the bell started to ring, the whole school stood up and were led by the seniors in one of their verse which is said every day during their school life. So this was the last bell that the seniors heard and the last time they said their verse.
To wonder at beauty,
Stand guard over truth,
Look up to the noble,
Decide for the good;
Leads man on his journey
To goals for his life,
To right in his duties,
To peace in his feeling,
To light in his thought,
And teaches him trust
In the guidance of God
In all that there is;
In the world-wide all,
In the soul's deep soil.
Then the classes left and the seniors remained for last pictures. I didn't take any. Figured that I might as well enjoy this last day and keep it in my heart.
As I already said, I was sobbing. After all, this is also the end of my Waldorf School years. Will there be more talking of gnomes and fairies? Will there be birthday verses? Will there be morning verses?
Will there be home-made bread and soup? Would I hear beautiful music and see more beautiful grounds than those of the Waldorf School campuses? Will I see more beautiful work of art on the walls and artifacts on display? Will there be candles on the table? Will there be nature tables expressing every passing season? Will there be blessings before the meals?
Will I hear the teachers singing when they call the children? Will I see such artistic drawings on the blackboards? Will I see square crayons and beeswax modeling "clay"? Will I see scarves knitted in wool and embroidered napkins? Will I see knitted cases for their recorders? Will I see shields and hear Micael's song in defeating the dragon? Will I sip hot cider and walk with a lantern to welcome the dark months of winter? Will I celebrate May Day and see dancing around the Maypole? Will I walk the perilous path during Halloween? Will I celebrate Advent with candles and walks?
Will I hear the faculty sing to the student and parent body? Will I see the beautiful Main Lesson Books? Will I hear inspired verses and songs created by my son? Will I hear him sing with that powerful soprano voice of his? Will I read well written and interpreted adnd mature research papers? Will I see my son wear slippers while he moves to Eurhythmy? Will I see teachers hugging my son because he needs nurturing? Will I see teachers playing with my son? Will my son teach me what he is learning? Will I pack lunches?
Will my life be surrounded by such beauty and love?
My gratitude to the Waldorf Schools that embraced Alex and for the Waldorf education that sculpted his soul transforming him into this beautiful human being that he is, is unlimited. From now on I say: I may have done terrible things while raising Alex. But the Waldorf Education is the best gift I could bestow him.
Though I may not ready to let him go, he is absolutely ready to take his first steps towards the world, forever wondering at beauty, standing guard over truth, looking up to the noble, and deciding on the good.
May God bless you and illumine your life, son of mine. I will be silently walking with you forever.
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
Prosperity And Abundance: Your Attitude Will Determine Which Side of Town You Live On!
Imagine you are walking in the woods and you see a beautiful brook running along your path. You decide to sit by it and observe your surroundings.
You notice that your senses are excited by the smell of the water and plants around you, or by the sound of the splash of the water hitting the rocks and trees; you also hear the birds singing.
You see the water running ever so smoothly; you feel a cool or warm breeze touching your skin...
You are most appreciative and grateful for the opportunity you were given to be able to delight in the place. You are now rested and continue your walk.
As you go along, you now see a puddle of stagnant water. It is dirty and it has a certain stench which you don't appreciate. The place is a breeding ground for mosquitoes and this is all you can hear, and feel, and see.
There is some rotting wood in the puddle and green stuff covering most of the water. It is not a pleasant place at all, and, disgusted, you can't wait to get out of it and move on.
Now, if you have to choose, what experience would you prefer? The one that makes you more connected with the true energy of life or the one that makes you want to run away from?
Of course, we all prefer to savor the delights of a place that brings so much to our life experience. Well, it is the same with our finances and our attitude about them.
When you realize that the energy of money can be appreciate from a standpoint of pleasure and delight or muck and stagnation, you don't need to be too clever to choose the first instance. However, many times you dream of the beautiful brook but keep standing in front of the murky water. It seems you are paralyzed and you don't know how to get out of it.
Now, you can rejoice and know that there is a way and that way is all about your attitude towards money and prosperity. If you have an attitude of poverty, no matter how much money you make and how many things you receive, you will always be poor, for your mind is set that way.
So the trick is to change your attitude. Easy task? Not at all! But very doable! So this is what you do: Accept the fact that money loves you. Appreciate it. Appreciate what it brings you. Appreciate those who give it to you.
Grab some money and keep looking at it and declaring your gratitude for it. It doesnt matter how much it is, really. Grab a dollar bill or a 100 dollar bill. Speak with it (better do it alone or with like-minded people).
Say to your money: "Thanks for providing me with the ability to pay my bills, or to buy food, or to pay for gas... anything. I know you love me as I know there are plenty of people who love to give me money. I am truly grateful for that."
See? Here you are not the one doing the action of loving the money. You are simply appreciating it because you are receiving the good energy it has to offer you. You task to simply acknowledge your gratitude.
This exercise will change you attitude and soon you will truly be sitting by the brook and enjoying what it is has to offer you. Go for it!
You notice that your senses are excited by the smell of the water and plants around you, or by the sound of the splash of the water hitting the rocks and trees; you also hear the birds singing.
You see the water running ever so smoothly; you feel a cool or warm breeze touching your skin...
You are most appreciative and grateful for the opportunity you were given to be able to delight in the place. You are now rested and continue your walk.
As you go along, you now see a puddle of stagnant water. It is dirty and it has a certain stench which you don't appreciate. The place is a breeding ground for mosquitoes and this is all you can hear, and feel, and see.
There is some rotting wood in the puddle and green stuff covering most of the water. It is not a pleasant place at all, and, disgusted, you can't wait to get out of it and move on.
Now, if you have to choose, what experience would you prefer? The one that makes you more connected with the true energy of life or the one that makes you want to run away from?
Of course, we all prefer to savor the delights of a place that brings so much to our life experience. Well, it is the same with our finances and our attitude about them.
When you realize that the energy of money can be appreciate from a standpoint of pleasure and delight or muck and stagnation, you don't need to be too clever to choose the first instance. However, many times you dream of the beautiful brook but keep standing in front of the murky water. It seems you are paralyzed and you don't know how to get out of it.
Now, you can rejoice and know that there is a way and that way is all about your attitude towards money and prosperity. If you have an attitude of poverty, no matter how much money you make and how many things you receive, you will always be poor, for your mind is set that way.
So the trick is to change your attitude. Easy task? Not at all! But very doable! So this is what you do: Accept the fact that money loves you. Appreciate it. Appreciate what it brings you. Appreciate those who give it to you.
Grab some money and keep looking at it and declaring your gratitude for it. It doesnt matter how much it is, really. Grab a dollar bill or a 100 dollar bill. Speak with it (better do it alone or with like-minded people).
Say to your money: "Thanks for providing me with the ability to pay my bills, or to buy food, or to pay for gas... anything. I know you love me as I know there are plenty of people who love to give me money. I am truly grateful for that."
See? Here you are not the one doing the action of loving the money. You are simply appreciating it because you are receiving the good energy it has to offer you. You task to simply acknowledge your gratitude.
This exercise will change you attitude and soon you will truly be sitting by the brook and enjoying what it is has to offer you. Go for it!
