Tuesday, September 27, 2005
The Game of Appreciation
I just love to learn, and I take every opportunity to do so. This kept me thinking about all the people from whom I have learnt something. In fact, the reality is that every encounter is a learning experience.
I find it absolutely fascinating that we are so very much knowledgeable and talented, all of us, children and adults alike, not to mention older people who shower us with so much wisdom. This, then, makes me appreciate everyone I encounter, especially when my first impression of the person is weak or negative. When this happens, I usually say to myself: I bet this person makes a mean brownie; or, I bet this person is a great singer; or I bet this person is a great philanthropist.
Actually, this is a game I love to play. Examples abound; for instance, in the movie " Ocean's Eleven" there is the little Chinese guy, as they call him. Well, imagine seeing this guy in the subway. You think: this is a little Chinese guy. That is it. As a first impression, the guy is obviously insignificant. He is only a little Chinese guy. But think about what he can do. How incredibly talented he is! There is nothing this little Chinese guy cannot do in what relates to movement and acrobatics. He is fantastic, indeed. Now, come to think of it, this whole movie is about ordinary people demonstrating their talents in different ways, regardless of the reasons for doing so, but never mind that.
Anyway, appreciating others may be a difficult game to play, especially when we are not in a good mood to begin with, or if someone has just pushed our buttons in some way. It is even more difficult to play it when we are dealing with people we know and love. But it is especially during these negative moments that this game should be played; to remove us from that negative vibe. When we do it, we let go of judgment and find ourselves in a place of unconditional acceptance.
So how do we play this game? I would suggest getting a notebook. If this is too much, then a piece of paper will do. If you don't have one available, say, when you are in traffic, just verbalize. The process is simple: write the name of the person if you know it. If you don't know, visualize the person, or think of anything else that will remind you of the person. Then, think about something that this person does that you think is good, regardless of the behavior you now disaprove of.
It may be very difficult to find one thing, but, if you think hard enough, eventually you will find not only one, but several things that you can appreciate about the person. If nothing comes to mind, start by doing what I do, especially when someone provokes me in traffic: "I bet this person..." and you fill in the blank with something that is important to you or that you like. You can start small with an appreciation that has nothing to do with you, for instance, "I appreciate Janelle's dedication to her work," or "I appreciate Janelle's loyalty to her boss," etc. Even though you think the person's quality is ridiculous; write it down anyway. You will soon find that there are many more things that you indeed appreciate in the person. See if you can come up with five things at least. And do it every day, until your bad feeling subsides.
Now, why play the game? Because, it will dissolve our ill will and eventually it will make us feel better. That is what is matters, right? That we are happy?
I find it absolutely fascinating that we are so very much knowledgeable and talented, all of us, children and adults alike, not to mention older people who shower us with so much wisdom. This, then, makes me appreciate everyone I encounter, especially when my first impression of the person is weak or negative. When this happens, I usually say to myself: I bet this person makes a mean brownie; or, I bet this person is a great singer; or I bet this person is a great philanthropist.
Actually, this is a game I love to play. Examples abound; for instance, in the movie " Ocean's Eleven" there is the little Chinese guy, as they call him. Well, imagine seeing this guy in the subway. You think: this is a little Chinese guy. That is it. As a first impression, the guy is obviously insignificant. He is only a little Chinese guy. But think about what he can do. How incredibly talented he is! There is nothing this little Chinese guy cannot do in what relates to movement and acrobatics. He is fantastic, indeed. Now, come to think of it, this whole movie is about ordinary people demonstrating their talents in different ways, regardless of the reasons for doing so, but never mind that.
Anyway, appreciating others may be a difficult game to play, especially when we are not in a good mood to begin with, or if someone has just pushed our buttons in some way. It is even more difficult to play it when we are dealing with people we know and love. But it is especially during these negative moments that this game should be played; to remove us from that negative vibe. When we do it, we let go of judgment and find ourselves in a place of unconditional acceptance.
So how do we play this game? I would suggest getting a notebook. If this is too much, then a piece of paper will do. If you don't have one available, say, when you are in traffic, just verbalize. The process is simple: write the name of the person if you know it. If you don't know, visualize the person, or think of anything else that will remind you of the person. Then, think about something that this person does that you think is good, regardless of the behavior you now disaprove of.
It may be very difficult to find one thing, but, if you think hard enough, eventually you will find not only one, but several things that you can appreciate about the person. If nothing comes to mind, start by doing what I do, especially when someone provokes me in traffic: "I bet this person..." and you fill in the blank with something that is important to you or that you like. You can start small with an appreciation that has nothing to do with you, for instance, "I appreciate Janelle's dedication to her work," or "I appreciate Janelle's loyalty to her boss," etc. Even though you think the person's quality is ridiculous; write it down anyway. You will soon find that there are many more things that you indeed appreciate in the person. See if you can come up with five things at least. And do it every day, until your bad feeling subsides.
Now, why play the game? Because, it will dissolve our ill will and eventually it will make us feel better. That is what is matters, right? That we are happy?
Saturday, September 24, 2005
Why do I subscribe to Happy News?
Have you realized how very much the media bombard us with bad news?
I usually avoid the news, with the exception of reading my favorite magazines: The Week -- http://theweekmagazine.com -- and Ode Magazine-- http://www.odemagazine.com .
Why do I do that? Because I think that my life is already stressfull and full of complications as it is without the aggravation of negativism. Why add insult to injury?
I had a very good example today. I went to my son's school to help out prepare for a great fund-raising opportunity for his class. The person in charge, an extremely organized and dedicated woman, I must add, had the radio on NPR, a news program of some sort. Don't get me wrong, I love NPR! Why I listen to the classical music all the time; but I am not too keen on hearing voices on the radio; I much prefer listening to great music only.
Anyway, so here we are, making sandwiches, cutting fruit, organizing trays, and having a great conversation, the lot of us who volunteered for the early morning shift. Except that the background was this "noise" of men speaking about Hurricane Rita. Now, don't get me wrong again; I too, am concerned about this issue, except that I find that hearing about it all the time will not solve the problem and I'd rather take action when the opportunity arises.
At one point, I asked the others if it was all right to turn the radio off. That background noise was irritating me. Everybody agreed. Ah, the silence! We continued our conversation about the Katrina and how we were helping the cause. It was grand, until the coordinator came back and, not only turned the radio on but turned it up as well. Shucks! We could never hear a good or empowering word again.
And then I asked myself: why do people do this? What purpose does it really serve except to provoke terror and more stress? I can't understand. So, to counteract that negative part of the morning, I decided to put a link to Happy News here. It is really a great site. Check also those two magazines that I mentioned above. They give you news all right, in a palatable way, however. Happy reading!
I usually avoid the news, with the exception of reading my favorite magazines: The Week -- http://theweekmagazine.com -- and Ode Magazine-- http://www.odemagazine.com .
Why do I do that? Because I think that my life is already stressfull and full of complications as it is without the aggravation of negativism. Why add insult to injury?
I had a very good example today. I went to my son's school to help out prepare for a great fund-raising opportunity for his class. The person in charge, an extremely organized and dedicated woman, I must add, had the radio on NPR, a news program of some sort. Don't get me wrong, I love NPR! Why I listen to the classical music all the time; but I am not too keen on hearing voices on the radio; I much prefer listening to great music only.
Anyway, so here we are, making sandwiches, cutting fruit, organizing trays, and having a great conversation, the lot of us who volunteered for the early morning shift. Except that the background was this "noise" of men speaking about Hurricane Rita. Now, don't get me wrong again; I too, am concerned about this issue, except that I find that hearing about it all the time will not solve the problem and I'd rather take action when the opportunity arises.
At one point, I asked the others if it was all right to turn the radio off. That background noise was irritating me. Everybody agreed. Ah, the silence! We continued our conversation about the Katrina and how we were helping the cause. It was grand, until the coordinator came back and, not only turned the radio on but turned it up as well. Shucks! We could never hear a good or empowering word again.
And then I asked myself: why do people do this? What purpose does it really serve except to provoke terror and more stress? I can't understand. So, to counteract that negative part of the morning, I decided to put a link to Happy News here. It is really a great site. Check also those two magazines that I mentioned above. They give you news all right, in a palatable way, however. Happy reading!
