Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Slowdown Therapy

1. Slow down. You are not responsible for doing it all yourself, right now.

2. Remember a happy, peaceful time in your past. Rest there. Each moment has richness that takes a lifetime to savor.

3. Set your own pace. When someone is pushing you, it's OK to tell them they're pushing.

4. Take nothing for granted: watch water flow, the corn grow, the leaves blow, your neighbor mow.

5. Taste your food. Nature provides it to delight as well as to nourish.

6. Notice the sun and the moon as they rise and set. They are remarkable for their steady pattern of movement, not their speed.

7. Quit planning how you're going to use what you know, learn, or possess. Your gifts just are; be grateful and their purpose will be clear.

8. When you talk with someone, don't think about what you'll say next. Thoughts will spring up naturally if you let them.

9. Talk and play with children. It will bring out the unhurried little person inside you.

10. Create a place in your home, at your work, in your heart where you can go for quiet and recollection. You deserve it.

11. Allow yourself time to be lazy and unproductive. Rest isn't luxury; it's a necessity.

12. Listen to the wind blow. It carries a message of yesterday and tomorrow-and now. NOW counts.

13. Rest on your laurels. They bring comfort whatever their size, age, or condition.

14. Talk slower. Talk less. Don't talk. Communication isn't measured by words.
15. Give yourself permission to be late sometimes. Life is for living, not scheduling.

16. Listen to the song of a bird; the complete song. Music and nature are gifts, but only if you are willing to receive them.

17. Take time just to think. Action is good and necessary, but it's fruitful only if we muse, ponder, and mull.

18. Make time for play - the things you like to do. Whatever you r age, your inner child needs re-creation.

19. Watch and listen to the night sky. It speaks.

20. Listen to the words you speak, especially in prayer.

21. Learn to stand back and let others take their turn as leaders. There will always be new opportunities for you to step out in front again.

22. Divide big jobs into little jobs.

23. When you find yourself rushing and anxious, stop. Ask yourself "WHY?" you are rushing and anxious. The reasons may improve your self-understanding.

24. Take time to read. Thoughtful reading is enriching reading.

25. Direct your life with purposeful choices, not with speed and efficiency. The best musician is one who plays with expression and meaning, not the one who finishes first.

26. Take a day off alone; make a retreat. You can learn from monks and hermits without becoming one.

27. Pet a furry friend. You will give and get the gift of now.

28. Work with your hands. It frees the mind.

29. Take time to wonder. Without wonder, life is merely existence.

30. Sit in the dark. It will teach you to see and hear, taste and smell.

31. Once in a while, turn down the lights, the volume, the throttle, the invitations. Less really can be more.

32. Let go. Nothing is usually the hardest thing to do - but often it is the best.

33. Take a walk-but don't go anywhere. If you walk just to get somewhere, you sacrifice the walking.

34. Count your friends. If you have one, you are lucky. If you have more, you are blessed. Bless them in return.

35. Count your blessings - one at a time and slowly.

Unknown author

Sunday, October 29, 2006

The Art of Acceptance and Forgiveness

How many times you refused to heal a relationship because you were concerned that the other person would not change their ways? How many times you didn't do certain things because you were concerned about what other people would think about you? How many times you regretted not doing things for the same reason? How many times you felt absolutely paralyzed because you suspected people would fail you?

It is truly interesting, though very sad, to notice that sometimes we have certain problems in our relationships with others because we are worried or suspicious or terrified that the other person will not follow through or will fail to do and to think the same as we and so on and so forth.

We may say: Yes, I will do such and such for this person, but... What if my wife refuses to talk to me? What if my mum keeps drinking? What if my son doesn't stop getting stoned? What if my ex-husband takes me to court again? What if my daughter insists on continuing this affair? What if my boss fires me? What if my friend hangs up on me? What if...

The What Ifs seem endless. We have grown so accustomed to having things our way or no way, that we are not able to let go of our pre-conceived ideas and see the situations and circumstances as they are: opportunities to grow.

So you see yourself in a situation that is not too pleasant; in fact, you have been hurt and you don't like that one bit. You realize that your child has become an activist for a cause that you abhor, that your partner is having an affair, that your boss is neglecting you for a promotion, that your friend of many years has decided to divorce you, and so on. What do you do?

The situation requires acceptance and forgiveness. Can you accept and forgive without dwelling on the idea that it is truly none of your business whether the other person will mend the hole that is now part of your heart?

Can you accept and forgive knowing that it is only up to you to do your part to heal the relationship no matter what the other person does? Can you say to yourself: I will do my share of changing so that this relationship can be healed? If you can, then I have some suggestions for you. Every time you remember your heart's aches and/or you remember the person do the following (you don't have to say anything to them):

1. Bless them.
2. Be grateful for the gifts you have received from their heart.
3. Envelop them with a cocoon of pure white light.
4. Appreciate them (any little thing is fine)
5. Repeat: As I forgive you now, please, forgive me as well.

You will see that, in no time the shifts will begin to occur and at the end, you will be better off.

Want to have more love, abundance, health, time, fun, and prosperity? Visit Prescription For Bliss at http://www.rx4bliss.com, sign up for the newsletter and receive a fr*ee ebook called "Happy People Are More Abundant!" Dr. Maria Moratto is the author of "Want to Save Your Relationship? Know Your Man!" among other books. Visit her site to get fr*ee affirmation cards. Dr. Maria is available for Radio and Television Talk Shows, media interviews, and as a Guest Speaker at your events.You may reprint this article in its entirety as long as you add this resource box.© Maria Moratto 2006

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

5 Ways to Happy Energy

Have you ever met someone who exudes “happy”? I’m not talking about over-the-top-in-your-face-they-make-you-a-little-uncomfortable happy. Just truly happy. You figure they must have been born that way, had things handed to them on a silver platter, don’t need to work for a living …

When it comes to happy people, I have a theory. These are people who know how to make specific choices regarding their thinking and behavior. They know how to CONSCIOUSLY choose to think and act in ways that result in happiness, and as a result, they are naturally fueled with energy, effortlessly.

Now, I must tell you that I spent a lot of time in my life displaying false happiness, and it left me pretty drained and exhausted. I’ve also spent a lot of time searching for peace and happiness (Hint: the answer isn’t in eating the “right” food). I still focus everyday on operating from a place of peace and happiness. From my own journey and discoveries I’m going to share with you 5 Ways to Happy Energy.


Positive Perspective

This is about the choice to see things differently. It takes focus and dedication. We are such creatures of habit, and not just in what we do but in how we think (Ever get caught up in INSISTING that you are right?) By being willing to take a different perspective, you are putting your loving adult self in charge and allowing yourself to be open to the wonderful possibilities that life has to offer – you know, the different stuff than what you’ve always done. Happy Energy people realize that the way they think is the beginning of a process that leads to the way they live. By thinking in positive ways, they move themselves to ACT in ways that bring about their dreams and desires.

Kindheartedness

Happy Energy people choose to be kind and compassionate to themselves and others. They are able to give from a place of joy rather than of obligation or because of what they expect to get in return. They don’t need to keep score. They also recognize that there are times when they must say “No,” and they do so without feeling guilty. They realize that their happiness is the RESULT of their caring behavior, not the CAUSE of it.


Courage

There is a lot of power in acting with courage. Happy Energy people realize that playing it safe actually makes them unhappy, so they choose to push their humanness and stretch their courageous muscles. Even though it might be difficult at the time, they trust that the payoff will be worth it, so they keep going for the new and look for ways to take beneficial risks. They also recognize that everyone in their life might not support this courageous behavior. They’re ok with that. Happy people recognize that another's reaction is really about that other person.

Receiving

If you really want a change to happen in your life, you have to be able to receive it. Happy Energy people realize this and embrace when they are given something instead of poo-pooing it away (Oh, really, it was nothing.), not taking credit when it is given (I hardly did a thing; Julie’s really the creative one) or worse, right-out refusing (This old thing? It cost under $2.00). This goes for everything from compliments to gifts to opportunities. A Happy Energy person knows that they are worth all the good that comes their way and that by receiving good (over bad), they have more to pass on to others.

Appreciation

A Gratitude Attitude brings blessings. Happy Energy people often express appreciation for the everyday things in their lives – the beauty of nature (something as simple as the sun), the food they eat (no use in beating yourself up about your food), all the good things ... I encourage you to make a list. I’ll bet you’ll be surprised at how much you have that you truly appreciate. Make the list and check-in to see if you feel lighter … and happier.

No matter what we have going on in our lives, we always have the choice to choose happiness. I used to get so angry when I would hear things like that – don’t tell me to be happy, I’m miserable. Then one day, things were so bad I figured I had to start somewhere, so I chose to just take 5 seconds to think about something that made me happy. I was floored by the results. You can be, too. Create true authentic happiness for yourself and watch the change in your energy 5 seconds at a time.

Heather Dominick, “The Energy Expert” is an energy specialist with over 10 years of teaching and coaching experience. Heather’s primary focus is in helping others identify sources for increasing energy and making successful business and lifestyle changes. To sign up to receive your free chapter and audio from the e-Book "Get EnergyRICH™", for her freebie how-to articles and no-charge teleclasses on creating your most energized life, visit
http://www.energyrichcoach.com

Monday, October 23, 2006

Family: 10 Simple Ways to Show You Love A Child

It is not enough for parents, step parents and extended family to feel a deep glow of love for the children in your circle of influence. You must convey that feeling into a message that is heard, felt and integrated by the child. Children need to be told both verbally and non-verbally how much they are valued for just being them.

As I interviewed children for my latest book Raise a Confident Child, I was struck by how many children thought their parent’s love was tied to their performance, character or behavior. As Jeremy told me “When ever I score at soccer, my dad really loves me, when I don’t win, I’m not really sure.”

As I teach in parenting classes across the country, many people ask me what they can do to have stronger families and more harmony at home. My answer is in the non-verbal clues we give our children. Verbal communication is the language of information and much of that is spent in lecturing, teaching and correcting our children. No wonder they tune most of it out. Studies have shown we remember only 10—20% of what we hear.

Non-verbal communication is the language of relationships

The non verbal clues are remembered and believed 80-90% of the time. So even if you do tell your children you love them, do you show them how precious they are to you? Do your actions demonstrate that your love and acceptance is not conditional upon their school grades, soccer goals or manners at the table?

Below are 8 simple ways to express your love and appreciation to and for your child. Note I did not say easy, because any positive change in behavior is hard, but the end result is well worth the effort.. Good luck.


Play games together. From the earliest months of your baby’s life, it came natural to play peek-a-boo when changing a diaper, or airplane when trying to get food into your toddler’s mouth. As children get less dependent on us, we forget to play silly games to hold their attention. Bring out the board games and turn off the TV, or play tag in the backyard. Do not allow competition or winning become more important than just being together.

Read with or to them at least 20 minutes daily. Children, even a few months old are comforted and soothed by the sound and rhythm of your voice as you read to them. The most important sounds a child can hear come from his parents and care-givers. When you read to children, you share such an important message for them, that you value reading and learning. Snuggling up and reading every day before bedtime or while dinner is cooking should continue, even after the children can read by themselves. We found the best way to curtail arguments while the after-dinner chores were being done, was to read aloud. Good stories provide problem solving experiences and allow children to look at events in their own lives from a different perspective. Turn off the TV and turn on the imagination as you read together.

Start and end each day on a positive note. Remember to use body language to indicate approval. A hug, high five, pat on the back or smile says so much without saying anything verbal .It has been said that eyes are the windows of our souls. If that is indeed true, and I think it is, make sure your eyes always say “hello, I’m glad to see you and I am glad you are in my life.” Recognize when your child is helpful and cooperative. Many times we take it for granted when our children do their chores without being reminded, are pleasant to the family and write down messages. However, we only react, sometimes loudly and with negative body language, when the message wasn’t given, the chore wasn’t done quickly enough or the attitude is less than approachable.

Try complimenting them at least once a day. Think of it like a daily vitamin, they may not need the supplementation today, but then again they might. Don’t let a day go by without letting them know how much they are appreciated and loved. A wonderful ritual a blended family we know does is recite to children individually each night count off on their fingers a list of all the people in their lives that love them. They end with saying, “You are such a blessed and lucky person, look how many people love and care about you.”

Truly listen to them. One of the most effective ways to show a child you love him or her is to pay attention when they are talking. Be empathic while accepting your child’s feelings and try to maintain eye contact or touch their arm while they are sharing with you. Children are often deeply upset over things that seem pretty trivial to adults. When we brush off or trivialize their concerns it feels like a rejection of him personally.

Have family meetings. It is good to remember a family is an organization. In fact, it is the basic organization of society. This is just one of the reasons I am such a proponent of family meetings. You wouldn’t think of running a successful business without a plan, goal setting meetings, team building sessions and clear missions and expectations. For more information on how to set up family meetings see www.ArtichokePress.com .

Develop love touches and signals. The safest touch your new baby has is you. Let him feel your cheek against his sweet little head; rub his legs and arms when you change his diaper. As children grow older, surround them with love in the form of hugs, kisses, holding hands when taking a walk or even winking at them when they look at you. Develop love signals for children as they begin to draw away from displays of affection in public. Perhaps your family gives high fives, touches thumbs, or squeezes each other’s hands quickly to show you are all on the same team.

Keep a list of reasons you admire them. Sometimes the very things that irritate us the most with children are the strengths they will need to succeed in life. We have to recognize that a stubborn child will turn into a tenacious adult, eventually.

Separate the deed from the doer. Remember it is the behavior that we find unacceptable not the child. There is a big difference between the two and when we are angry, we tend to lump them together. Just because John takes money from the dresser does not make him a thief. It makes him a boy who made a bad decision and needs to learn that it is not acceptable to take money or anything else from anyone without permission.

Don’t make it or take it personal. All families have squabbles and all children say they wish their parents and caregivers were more lenient, generous or understanding. We all try to do the best we can with what we have been given, but we are the adults and must make sure that no matter what the children have given or called us, that we give them guidance, love, discipline and respect. It is our obligation to set consistent boundaries and to assist them in growing into self-directed, contributing members of society.


So often we do what is called unconscious parenting, just getting through the day. It is not that we don't love our family; it is just that the love sometimes gets lost in the translation through poor communications or unskillful methods. I would like to challenge you to be more conscious in the words and actions that affect the children in your circle of influence. Hopefully, you will find some techniques here that will assist you in your efforts.

You do the most important work in the world. Thank you for being a parent.

© Judy H. Wright
Parent educator and PBS “Ready to Learn” consultant, Judy H. Wright works with Head Start staff, child care resource centers, schools and parent organizations internationally. As a powerful and popular presenter for adults who work with children, Judy’s also authored over twenty books. For more information on books, clients and testimonials or to book Judy for your next event, call 1-406-549-9813or go to www.ArtichokePress.com. She is a founding member of Montana Speakers Network and is a regional representative for National Association for Women Writers as well as parent expert at www.ClubMom.com /

Sunday, October 22, 2006

I Forgive, a self-counsel to start your day!

I forgive myself for everything I held against myself by remembering and reminding myself over and over of all the hurt I carried all these years. I am free, no longer imprisoned in a world of my subjective troubling memories.

As I forgive myself, I penetrate the layers of the unconscious and impress it with a new blueprint -- that of acceptance, beauty, abundance and love. I plant new seeds for the continual growth of my mental powers.

I forgive myself and everyone who has played a part in my movie of life whereby I cast them as an extra.....yes, I cast them...and they replicated roles unworthy of their true character.

Armed with forgiveness, I choose to stop re-enacting unhappy scenes from the past. I forgive before I fall asleep, and I forgive before my eyes look on this new day. And as I forgive I remove my spiritual blinders and open the windows of my soul to all the riches of life.

I have made a decision. I choose to re-imagine, re-frame, rewrite, and re-edit my life rather than recast and rerun the old negative TV series and radio broadcasts on the screen of my mind. Yes, today I go cold turkey.

I am discovering that the All-Originating Love is the only creative power in all world-systems. I am realizing that all of my erroneous thoughts and actions to which my feelings gave rise never separated me from Divine Love.

I now make the first move towards reconciliation and am brought into conscious realization of that reciprocal communication with the Source of Life.

Infinite Love is the essence of my true being. I feel renewed, uplifted, and released.

Each and every time I focus my thoughts on worthwhile goals, I feel a river of peace surge through me. I have confidence in the Healer Within to restore a perfect balance in all and through all. As a result of this shift in awareness, I walk away from old conversations about lack and avoid what for me alone is negative to my heart and mind.

I am willingly surrendering all sense of worthlessness, powerlessness, and helplessness. Yes, I am giving up all memories that are negative or hurtful for something positive, abundantly delightful, and healthful. That would be ME.

How good it feels to move beyond past memories, childhood mistakes and confusion. I have my dream-seeds in hand. I choose to replant, fertilize, and nurture the love within myself. I choose wholeness of mind. I choose happiness.

I am a child of the I AM, an "heir according to the promise." I live in an imaginal universe capable of using the laws of the unseen side of things. As I look around at the world it becomes a testimony to the stability of the foundation on which my dream is based.

Today I renew my relationship with all of life. I begin a fresh, positive dialogue with those I meet. I rise up in imagination. I give thanks for my triumphant way of living. I walk in the direction of the fulfillment of my dream. I am so grateful and happy that I choose to practice the art of forgiving!

Melissa Zollo : Author of "Discover the Power of Imagination" and How to Unleash the Power Within and Attract Money. Her website is www.presentmemory.com Sign up for her free newsletter.

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