Prescription for Bliss

This entry today is all about me. All my life, I have had interesting relationships with family and friends, co-workers, students, acquaintances and people in general. I came to the conclusion that I am unforgettable. Except for those brief encounters with store and bank clerks, for example, or the oil change people, and so on, who will not really notice me except for my accent, everybody else either loves me or hates me.

No one, not one single person who has come in contact with me for more than one day, can boast that they can’t remember me or that I am indifferent to them, or even worse: that they can’t remember me (ouch!).

In Brazil we have a saying that goes like this: "speak well or speak badly of me, but, speak of me!" There might be some equivalent in English, which I don’t recall. Well, it happens to me. I don’t know why that is. Perhaps it is my intensity, perhaps my outspokenness and verbal expression of my likes and dislikes, or perhaps my sensitivity, reflected in my crying for the stupidest reasons. Or perhaps it is by the way I speak, my words, my accent, God knows.

The fact is that the same qualities in me that make me just delightful to some are the same that make me odious to others. There is something in me that triggers laughter in some people and while triggering misunderstand in others. Is that my dry sense of humor? Some people think I am very funny, while some can’t understand me at all. All this, just by my using the same words to the very same people in the very same context at the same time. How is that possible?

This is mostly apparent in my classes. Some of my students have a ball with my way of teaching, while others look at me with a puzzle look that makes me wonder about their intelligence! It is true that humor is a reflection of intelligence.

I have discovered that those who can’t find humor are not the brightest people. In any case, I am not saying that those who don’t love me are dumb. I think perhaps the best way to describe those who love me is by acknowledging their high sense of self-esteem and self-confidence. That’s it!

But then, I know some people who dislike me and are ok in this department. I think I might trigger in them responses to some of the qualities that they possess but don’t like. You know, there are some people we don’t like and when we decide to investigate the reasons for our disliking them, we find out that we have the same qualities that they do, except that we don’t like to have them. Anyway. There are many possibilities to continue this speculation. I will think of some more.

The question remains: would I want to be loved by everyone? Certainly. Loud YES! Wouldn’t it be great? But I need to recognize that we are all different people with different personalities and set of values. This will remain a wishful thinking. Hey, dreaming is good!

Now, if only the ones who love me were more vocal than the few ones who don’t…

# posted by Dr. Maria Moratto : 9:17 AM