Prescription for Bliss

I have a confession to make. Regarding my love relationships, I used to be a bitch; one of those really nasty feminists that see men as the enemy or if not that extreme, simply good for nothing. Actually, I always thought men were very good for opening jars and changing light bulbs. That is all.

I used to fantasize about how to deal with men: my greatest fantasy was to use them for pleasure or procreation and then kill them, just like black spiders. Or use them and zap them to somewhere else in the universe where they were not to be heard or seen, ever. Beam them up, Scotty! Or, in another version, that we women would all live in a place separate from all men and then, coming pleasure time, choose between the ones who attracted us the most and use them and then send them away again.

Let them testosteronize away—good verb, huh?—and make their wars and leave us alone, I used to broadcast. We, women, would all be fat and happy. We would wear what pleased us the most and eat whatever we desired, especially chocolate, at any time we pleased, not thinking once that our bodies were not attractive for “them.” Who cares? Ahhhhhhhh, a life of freedom. What a dream that was! Because of that, I drove away a score of men, all very good, until only the “bad” guys remained.

Pity. So here I am now… 54 years old. Fruit of the Women’s Lib movement. Divorced twice. Successful. Brazilian. Over educated. Single Mother. Former feminist: never wore a bra! Former male-basher, of course – please, send me those funny jokes degrading men. As a professor, I was once accused of being a man-hater by a student. Too true; though I thought this comment was not only unkind but absolutely false as well. I guess my transparency couldn’t be helped.

My two marriages were simply a disaster. I had no tolerance or appreciation for men in general, husbands in particular. Nothing that my husbands ever did was good enough for me, including sex. Though I loved them, living with those men was just impossible then, as living with a man would be now, had I the guts to get into any romantic attachment again. But, as the saying goes, I don’t hate men this much to impose such an ordeal upon them. I am not cut out for this. Never was, though I used to think so; never will be.

So one day I was inspired to write a book, one that would show the men’s side of the truth in relationships. But, why this change of heart? What happened in my life for me to change my views on the topic? I can only think of one reason: my son Alex. You see, Alex is at present almost 17 years old. He is becoming a man. As his sole influential parent, I like to think that I instilled in him good habits in what concerns women and his relationship with them. I probably damaged him as well, for his female role model is a very strong woman… former goddess; now an aspiring crone. He has a lot to tell his shrink in the future, I am sure. But that is his story… to be continued.

# posted by Dr. Maria Moratto : 4:34 PM