Prescription for Bliss

Taxi Ride

2006-11-05T08:29:00.000-08:00

Twenty years ago, I drove a cab for a living. When I arrived at 2:30 a.m., the building was dark except for a single light in a ground floor window. Under these circumstances, many drivers would just honk once or twice, wait a minute, and then drive away.

But I had seen too many impoverished people who depended on taxis as their only means of transportation. Unless a situation smelled of danger, I always went to the door. This passenger might be someone who needs my assistance, I reasoned to myself.

So I walked to the door and knocked. "Just a minute", answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged across the floor.

After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 80's stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940s movie.

By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets.

There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknack s or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware.

"Would you carry my bag out to the car?" she said. I took the suitcase to the cab, then returned to assist the woman.

She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb.

She kept thanking me for my kindness. "It's nothing", I told her. "I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother treated".

"Oh, you're such a good boy", she said. When we got in the cab, she gave me an address, and then asked, "Could you drive through downtown?"

"It's not the shortest way," I answered quickly.

"Oh, I don't mind," she said. "I'm in no hurry. I'm on my way to a hospice".

I looked in the rear-view mirror. Her eyes were glistening. "I don't have any family left," she continued. "The doctor says I don't have very long." I quietly reached over and shut off the meter.

"What route would you like me to take?" I asked.

For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator.

We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds. She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl.
Sometimes she'd ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing.

As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, "I'm tired. Let's go now"

We drove in silence to the address she had given me.It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico.

Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move. They must have been expecting her.

I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair.

"How much do I owe you?" she asked, reaching into her purse.

"Nothing," I said

"You have to make a living," she answered. "There are other passengers," I responded. Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug. She held onto me tightly.

"You gave an old woman a little moment of joy," she said.

"Thank you."

I squeezed her hand, and then walked into the dim morning light. Behind me, a door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life

I didn't pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly lost in thought. For the rest of that day, I could hardly talk. What if that woman had gotten an angry driver, or one who was impatient to end his shift?

What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away?

On a quick review, I don't think that I have done anything more important in my life.

We're conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments.

But great moments often catch us unaware-beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.

PEOPLE MAY NOT REMEMBER EXACTLY WHAT 'YOU DID, OR WHAT YOU SAID, ~BUT~THEY WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER HOW YOU MADE THEM FEEL.

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance.

Author Unknown

Slowdown Therapy

2006-10-31T10:03:00.000-08:00

1. Slow down. You are not responsible for doing it all yourself, right now.

2. Remember a happy, peaceful time in your past. Rest there. Each moment has richness that takes a lifetime to savor.

3. Set your own pace. When someone is pushing you, it's OK to tell them they're pushing.

4. Take nothing for granted: watch water flow, the corn grow, the leaves blow, your neighbor mow.

5. Taste your food. Nature provides it to delight as well as to nourish.

6. Notice the sun and the moon as they rise and set. They are remarkable for their steady pattern of movement, not their speed.

7. Quit planning how you're going to use what you know, learn, or possess. Your gifts just are; be grateful and their purpose will be clear.

8. When you talk with someone, don't think about what you'll say next. Thoughts will spring up naturally if you let them.

9. Talk and play with children. It will bring out the unhurried little person inside you.

10. Create a place in your home, at your work, in your heart where you can go for quiet and recollection. You deserve it.

11. Allow yourself time to be lazy and unproductive. Rest isn't luxury; it's a necessity.

12. Listen to the wind blow. It carries a message of yesterday and tomorrow-and now. NOW counts.

13. Rest on your laurels. They bring comfort whatever their size, age, or condition.

14. Talk slower. Talk less. Don't talk. Communication isn't measured by words.
15. Give yourself permission to be late sometimes. Life is for living, not scheduling.

16. Listen to the song of a bird; the complete song. Music and nature are gifts, but only if you are willing to receive them.

17. Take time just to think. Action is good and necessary, but it's fruitful only if we muse, ponder, and mull.

18. Make time for play - the things you like to do. Whatever you r age, your inner child needs re-creation.

19. Watch and listen to the night sky. It speaks.

20. Listen to the words you speak, especially in prayer.

21. Learn to stand back and let others take their turn as leaders. There will always be new opportunities for you to step out in front again.

22. Divide big jobs into little jobs.

23. When you find yourself rushing and anxious, stop. Ask yourself "WHY?" you are rushing and anxious. The reasons may improve your self-understanding.

24. Take time to read. Thoughtful reading is enriching reading.

25. Direct your life with purposeful choices, not with speed and efficiency. The best musician is one who plays with expression and meaning, not the one who finishes first.

26. Take a day off alone; make a retreat. You can learn from monks and hermits without becoming one.

27. Pet a furry friend. You will give and get the gift of now.

28. Work with your hands. It frees the mind.

29. Take time to wonder. Without wonder, life is merely existence.

30. Sit in the dark. It will teach you to see and hear, taste and smell.

31. Once in a while, turn down the lights, the volume, the throttle, the invitations. Less really can be more.

32. Let go. Nothing is usually the hardest thing to do - but often it is the best.

33. Take a walk-but don't go anywhere. If you walk just to get somewhere, you sacrifice the walking.

34. Count your friends. If you have one, you are lucky. If you have more, you are blessed. Bless them in return.

35. Count your blessings - one at a time and slowly.

Unknown author

The Art of Acceptance and Forgiveness

2006-10-29T18:04:00.000-08:00

How many times you refused to heal a relationship because you were concerned that the other person would not change their ways? How many times you didn't do certain things because you were concerned about what other people would think about you? How many times you regretted not doing things for the same reason? How many times you felt absolutely paralyzed because you suspected people would fail you?

It is truly interesting, though very sad, to notice that sometimes we have certain problems in our relationships with others because we are worried or suspicious or terrified that the other person will not follow through or will fail to do and to think the same as we and so on and so forth.

We may say: Yes, I will do such and such for this person, but... What if my wife refuses to talk to me? What if my mum keeps drinking? What if my son doesn't stop getting stoned? What if my ex-husband takes me to court again? What if my daughter insists on continuing this affair? What if my boss fires me? What if my friend hangs up on me? What if...

The What Ifs seem endless. We have grown so accustomed to having things our way or no way, that we are not able to let go of our pre-conceived ideas and see the situations and circumstances as they are: opportunities to grow.

So you see yourself in a situation that is not too pleasant; in fact, you have been hurt and you don't like that one bit. You realize that your child has become an activist for a cause that you abhor, that your partner is having an affair, that your boss is neglecting you for a promotion, that your friend of many years has decided to divorce you, and so on. What do you do?

The situation requires acceptance and forgiveness. Can you accept and forgive without dwelling on the idea that it is truly none of your business whether the other person will mend the hole that is now part of your heart?

Can you accept and forgive knowing that it is only up to you to do your part to heal the relationship no matter what the other person does? Can you say to yourself: I will do my share of changing so that this relationship can be healed? If you can, then I have some suggestions for you. Every time you remember your heart's aches and/or you remember the person do the following (you don't have to say anything to them):

1. Bless them.
2. Be grateful for the gifts you have received from their heart.
3. Envelop them with a cocoon of pure white light.
4. Appreciate them (any little thing is fine)
5. Repeat: As I forgive you now, please, forgive me as well.

You will see that, in no time the shifts will begin to occur and at the end, you will be better off.

Want to have more love, abundance, health, time, fun, and prosperity? Visit Prescription For Bliss at http://www.rx4bliss.com, sign up for the newsletter and receive a fr*ee ebook called "Happy People Are More Abundant!" Dr. Maria Moratto is the author of "Want to Save Your Relationship? Know Your Man!" among other books. Visit her site to get fr*ee affirmation cards. Dr. Maria is available for Radio and Television Talk Shows, media interviews, and as a Guest Speaker at your events.You may reprint this article in its entirety as long as you add this resource box.© Maria Moratto 2006

5 Ways to Happy Energy

2006-10-25T17:52:00.000-07:00

Have you ever met someone who exudes “happy”? I’m not talking about over-the-top-in-your-face-they-make-you-a-little-uncomfortable happy. Just truly happy. You figure they must have been born that way, had things handed to them on a silver platter, don’t need to work for a living …

When it comes to happy people, I have a theory. These are people who know how to make specific choices regarding their thinking and behavior. They know how to CONSCIOUSLY choose to think and act in ways that result in happiness, and as a result, they are naturally fueled with energy, effortlessly.

Now, I must tell you that I spent a lot of time in my life displaying false happiness, and it left me pretty drained and exhausted. I’ve also spent a lot of time searching for peace and happiness (Hint: the answer isn’t in eating the “right” food). I still focus everyday on operating from a place of peace and happiness. From my own journey and discoveries I’m going to share with you 5 Ways to Happy Energy.

Positive Perspective

This is about the choice to see things differently. It takes focus and dedication. We are such creatures of habit, and not just in what we do but in how we think (Ever get caught up in INSISTING that you are right?) By being willing to take a different perspective, you are putting your loving adult self in charge and allowing yourself to be open to the wonderful possibilities that life has to offer – you know, the different stuff than what you’ve always done. Happy Energy people realize that the way they think is the beginning of a process that leads to the way they live. By thinking in positive ways, they move themselves to ACT in ways that bring about their dreams and desires.

Kindheartedness

Happy Energy people choose to be kind and compassionate to themselves and others. They are able to give from a place of joy rather than of obligation or because of what they expect to get in return. They don’t need to keep score. They also recognize that there are times when they must say “No,” and they do so without feeling guilty. They realize that their happiness is the RESULT of their caring behavior, not the CAUSE of it.

Courage

There is a lot of power in acting with courage. Happy Energy people realize that playing it safe actually makes them unhappy, so they choose to push their humanness and stretch their courageous muscles. Even though it might be difficult at the time, they trust that the payoff will be worth it, so they keep going for the new and look for ways to take beneficial risks. They also recognize that everyone in their life might not support this courageous behavior. They’re ok with that. Happy people recognize that another's reaction is really about that other person.

Receiving

If you really want a change to happen in your life, you have to be able to receive it. Happy Energy people realize this and embrace when they are given something instead of poo-pooing it away (Oh, really, it was nothing.), not taking credit when it is given (I hardly did a thing; Julie’s really the creative one) or worse, right-out refusing (This old thing? It cost under $2.00). This goes for everything from compliments to gifts to opportunities. A Happy Energy person knows that they are worth all the good that comes their way and that by receiving good (over bad), they have more to pass on to others.

Appreciation

A Gratitude Attitude brings blessings. Happy Energy people often express appreciation for the everyday things in their lives – the beauty of nature (something as simple as the sun), the food they eat (no use in beating yourself up about your food), all the good things ... I encourage you to make a list. I’ll bet you’ll be surprised at how much you have that you truly appreciate. Make the list and check-in to see if you feel lighter … and happier.

No matter what we have going on in our lives, we always have the choice to choose happiness. I used to get so angry when I would hear things like that – don’t tell me to be happy, I’m miserable. Then one day, things were so bad I figured I had to start somewhere, so I chose to just take 5 seconds to think about something that made me happy. I was floored by the results. You can be, too. Create true authentic happiness for yourself and watch the change in your energy 5 seconds at a time.

Heather Dominick, “The Energy Expert” is an energy specialist with over 10 years of teaching and coaching experience. Heather’s primary focus is in helping others identify sources for increasing energy and making successful business and lifestyle changes. To sign up to receive your free chapter and audio from the e-Book "Get EnergyRICH™", for her freebie how-to articles and no-charge teleclasses on creating your most energized life, visit
http://www.energyrichcoach.com

Family: 10 Simple Ways to Show You Love A Child

2006-10-23T14:56:00.000-07:00

It is not enough for parents, step parents and extended family to feel a deep glow of love for the children in your circle of influence. You must convey that feeling into a message that is heard, felt and integrated by the child. Children need to be told both verbally and non-verbally how much they are valued for just being them.

As I interviewed children for my latest book Raise a Confident Child, I was struck by how many children thought their parent’s love was tied to their performance, character or behavior. As Jeremy told me “When ever I score at soccer, my dad really loves me, when I don’t win, I’m not really sure.”

As I teach in parenting classes across the country, many people ask me what they can do to have stronger families and more harmony at home. My answer is in the non-verbal clues we give our children. Verbal communication is the language of information and much of that is spent in lecturing, teaching and correcting our children. No wonder they tune most of it out. Studies have shown we remember only 10—20% of what we hear.

Non-verbal communication is the language of relationships

The non verbal clues are remembered and believed 80-90% of the time. So even if you do tell your children you love them, do you show them how precious they are to you? Do your actions demonstrate that your love and acceptance is not conditional upon their school grades, soccer goals or manners at the table?

Below are 8 simple ways to express your love and appreciation to and for your child. Note I did not say easy, because any positive change in behavior is hard, but the end result is well worth the effort.. Good luck.

Play games together. From the earliest months of your baby’s life, it came natural to play peek-a-boo when changing a diaper, or airplane when trying to get food into your toddler’s mouth. As children get less dependent on us, we forget to play silly games to hold their attention. Bring out the board games and turn off the TV, or play tag in the backyard. Do not allow competition or winning become more important than just being together.

Read with or to them at least 20 minutes daily. Children, even a few months old are comforted and soothed by the sound and rhythm of your voice as you read to them. The most important sounds a child can hear come from his parents and care-givers. When you read to children, you share such an important message for them, that you value reading and learning. Snuggling up and reading every day before bedtime or while dinner is cooking should continue, even after the children can read by themselves. We found the best way to curtail arguments while the after-dinner chores were being done, was to read aloud. Good stories provide problem solving experiences and allow children to look at events in their own lives from a different perspective. Turn off the TV and turn on the imagination as you read together.

Start and end each day on a positive note. Remember to use body language to indicate approval. A hug, high five, pat on the back or smile says so much without saying anything verbal .It has been said that eyes are the windows of our souls. If that is indeed true, and I think it is, make sure your eyes always say “hello, I’m glad to see you and I am glad you are in my life.” Recognize when your child is helpful and cooperative. Many times we take it for granted when our children do their chores without being reminded, are pleasant to the family and write down messages. However, we only react, sometimes loudly and with negative body language, when the message wasn’t given, the chore wasn’t done quickly enough or the attitude is less than approachable.

Try complimenting them at least once a day. Think of it like a daily vitamin, they may not need the supplementation today, but then again they might. Don’t let a day go by without letting them know how much they are appreciated and loved. A wonderful ritual a blended family we know does is recite to children individually each night count off on their fingers a list of all the people in their lives that love them. They end with saying, “You are such a blessed and lucky person, look how many people love and care about you.”

Truly listen to them. One of the most effective ways to show a child you love him or her is to pay attention when they are talking. Be empathic while accepting your child’s feelings and try to maintain eye contact or touch their arm while they are sharing with you. Children are often deeply upset over things that seem pretty trivial to adults. When we brush off or trivialize their concerns it feels like a rejection of him personally.

Have family meetings. It is good to remember a family is an organization. In fact, it is the basic organization of society. This is just one of the reasons I am such a proponent of family meetings. You wouldn’t think of running a successful business without a plan, goal setting meetings, team building sessions and clear missions and expectations. For more information on how to set up family meetings see www.ArtichokePress.com .

Develop love touches and signals. The safest touch your new baby has is you. Let him feel your cheek against his sweet little head; rub his legs and arms when you change his diaper. As children grow older, surround them with love in the form of hugs, kisses, holding hands when taking a walk or even winking at them when they look at you. Develop love signals for children as they begin to draw away from displays of affection in public. Perhaps your family gives high fives, touches thumbs, or squeezes each other’s hands quickly to show you are all on the same team.

Keep a list of reasons you admire them. Sometimes the very things that irritate us the most with children are the strengths they will need to succeed in life. We have to recognize that a stubborn child will turn into a tenacious adult, eventually.

Separate the deed from the doer. Remember it is the behavior that we find unacceptable not the child. There is a big difference between the two and when we are angry, we tend to lump them together. Just because John takes money from the dresser does not make him a thief. It makes him a boy who made a bad decision and needs to learn that it is not acceptable to take money or anything else from anyone without permission.

Don’t make it or take it personal. All families have squabbles and all children say they wish their parents and caregivers were more lenient, generous or understanding. We all try to do the best we can with what we have been given, but we are the adults and must make sure that no matter what the children have given or called us, that we give them guidance, love, discipline and respect. It is our obligation to set consistent boundaries and to assist them in growing into self-directed, contributing members of society.

So often we do what is called unconscious parenting, just getting through the day. It is not that we don't love our family; it is just that the love sometimes gets lost in the translation through poor communications or unskillful methods. I would like to challenge you to be more conscious in the words and actions that affect the children in your circle of influence. Hopefully, you will find some techniques here that will assist you in your efforts.

You do the most important work in the world. Thank you for being a parent.

© Judy H. Wright
Parent educator and PBS “Ready to Learn” consultant, Judy H. Wright works with Head Start staff, child care resource centers, schools and parent organizations internationally. As a powerful and popular presenter for adults who work with children, Judy’s also authored over twenty books. For more information on books, clients and testimonials or to book Judy for your next event, call 1-406-549-9813or go to www.ArtichokePress.com. She is a founding member of Montana Speakers Network and is a regional representative for National Association for Women Writers as well as parent expert at www.ClubMom.com /

I Forgive, a self-counsel to start your day!

2006-10-22T16:27:00.000-07:00

I forgive myself for everything I held against myself by remembering and reminding myself over and over of all the hurt I carried all these years. I am free, no longer imprisoned in a world of my subjective troubling memories.

As I forgive myself, I penetrate the layers of the unconscious and impress it with a new blueprint -- that of acceptance, beauty, abundance and love. I plant new seeds for the continual growth of my mental powers.

I forgive myself and everyone who has played a part in my movie of life whereby I cast them as an extra.....yes, I cast them...and they replicated roles unworthy of their true character.

Armed with forgiveness, I choose to stop re-enacting unhappy scenes from the past. I forgive before I fall asleep, and I forgive before my eyes look on this new day. And as I forgive I remove my spiritual blinders and open the windows of my soul to all the riches of life.

I have made a decision. I choose to re-imagine, re-frame, rewrite, and re-edit my life rather than recast and rerun the old negative TV series and radio broadcasts on the screen of my mind. Yes, today I go cold turkey.

I am discovering that the All-Originating Love is the only creative power in all world-systems. I am realizing that all of my erroneous thoughts and actions to which my feelings gave rise never separated me from Divine Love.

I now make the first move towards reconciliation and am brought into conscious realization of that reciprocal communication with the Source of Life.

Infinite Love is the essence of my true being. I feel renewed, uplifted, and released.

Each and every time I focus my thoughts on worthwhile goals, I feel a river of peace surge through me. I have confidence in the Healer Within to restore a perfect balance in all and through all. As a result of this shift in awareness, I walk away from old conversations about lack and avoid what for me alone is negative to my heart and mind.

I am willingly surrendering all sense of worthlessness, powerlessness, and helplessness. Yes, I am giving up all memories that are negative or hurtful for something positive, abundantly delightful, and healthful. That would be ME.

How good it feels to move beyond past memories, childhood mistakes and confusion. I have my dream-seeds in hand. I choose to replant, fertilize, and nurture the love within myself. I choose wholeness of mind. I choose happiness.

I am a child of the I AM, an "heir according to the promise." I live in an imaginal universe capable of using the laws of the unseen side of things. As I look around at the world it becomes a testimony to the stability of the foundation on which my dream is based.

Today I renew my relationship with all of life. I begin a fresh, positive dialogue with those I meet. I rise up in imagination. I give thanks for my triumphant way of living. I walk in the direction of the fulfillment of my dream. I am so grateful and happy that I choose to practice the art of forgiving!

Melissa Zollo : Author of "Discover the Power of Imagination" and How to Unleash the Power Within and Attract Money. Her website is www.presentmemory.com Sign up for her free newsletter.

Inviting Articles

2006-10-22T12:35:00.000-07:00

I would like to invite anyone who has a
good article, to share it here in this blog,
as long as they are related to self-improvement.

Please, send the articles with your name,
web address, and phone number to:
articles@rx4bliss.com
and I will post it for you.

Thanks!

Guilt, Peace, Worry: Which Do Your Prefer?

2006-06-21T15:57:00.000-07:00

During our lives we carry with us many different feelings which vary from the very negative to the very positive. Depending on our state of mind we have a recurrence of one or the other.

Of all the feelings that are available to us, there are three that we face all the time. These 3 have many variations in intensity and all but they can be summarized as: guilt, peace, and worry.

Let’s examine these three.

1. Guilt and/or regret

These are mostly related to something that we have done in the past, though it is possible that a person may feel guilty by anticipation. For example, you know that what a future action is going to harm or disappoint someone but you do it anyway. This anticipated guilt is very common among parents. By and large, you feel guilt for something you have or haven’t done in the past. You regret a past action or the lack of it thereof.

You regret that you ate that piece of cake, that you didn't learn that language or that instrument, that you never attended college, that you didn't write that book, that you didn't give more love to your pet, that you sat all day in front of the tube...

You feel guilty because you didn't call someone, because you didn't go that party, because you spent too much money, because you crashed your car, because you fell in love with the wrong person, because you didn't give your child something (anything), because you put your parents in a home, because...

Regrets and guilt are immobilizing. We feel stuck to go forward. We walk on mud and carry the burden of the past with us.

2. Worry and/or fear

These are feelings that happen in the present but are directly related to the future. We worry about and fear things that have not happened yet. This is our "monkey mind" at its best. Monkey mind says: "You can’t afford this, watch out for that car, how you will be able to pay this bill? You will never get well"...

And you say: "I am afraid of this exam. I am afraid I will get fat if I eat this, I am afraid she won’t like me, I am afraid to climb that hill, I am afraid to speak in front of all these people, I am afraid my business will fail, I am afraid I won’t have money to pay my bills"...

Our mind doesn’t play around. The worries and the fears are only very real. The result is that we keep sending these negative vibes today, only to receive more of the same tomorrow.

3. Peace and joy

Peace of mind is only guaranteed today. So is joy. Those are feelings that we feel today, this very moment. We can wish we will be at peace tomorrow and we can remember having had peace yesterday, but the feeling in now.

The similarity between the three types of feeling is that they are all felt today. However, only peace and joy are positive feelings that will make us happier.

What is the point of worrying about the past and have this anxiety and fear about the future? Can we do anything about them? Do they present any solution to the events in our lives? Are they making us happier? Do they make us move forward? Do they make us feel good? Do they inspire us? Do they help increase our hope and trust that the world is a good place to be and that our lives are worth living?

They don’t. So, every time you catch yourself having or the other, acknowledge it to satisfy your conscious mind and immediately say something like this: "I am undisturbed by appearances. All is well and I am safe." And go about your day in peace and joy.

The Walk Through

2006-06-14T09:23:00.000-07:00

The day was beautiful. The sun was shining and the breeze was cool. We arrived at the school at 10:30 or so.

Alex joined his class and I joined the parents. I noticed that all the parents had flowers and I didn't. Shucks. I forgot. No problem.
I asked one who had a bunch of bunches and she sold me one. Great. I now had a bunch of white carnations that I could give my son, his best friends, and my ex-students.

Soon, it was time for us to start the Walk Through. This is what the Sacramento Waldorf School calls the last day of school for the seniors. It is their time to say good-bye to all the classes, teachers, and parents, and hence, have a closing to their many years at the school. I understand that SWS is the only Waldorf School which has such a rite of passage. Lucky us!

Anyway, we all follow the class of 2006 into the garden that belongs to the Kindergarten. There they were, waiting and holding a flower.

The seniors formed a circle and the small children all wearing a flower garland that they had made, recited a verse and sang a song, in a typical way of kindergarteners. I remember when Alex was that little, his teacher asked: what is it with this vibrato when he sings? She never knew what a powerful soprano he was to become until his voice changed at age 14 or so. He still can do a great falsetto.

Anyway. After they received the flowers from the small children and were leaving the grounds of the Kindergarten, we parents spontaneously formed a tunnel for our children to pass under. It was very powerful and symbolic.

Then they went to the Lower School. Because the classes are very small and this is the biggest class ever to attend a Waldorf High School in this country, there was no way that the 46 of them, plus the parents, plus the other children's parents would fit in each classroom.

To make sure that the walk would still be a beautiful experience, the teachers decided that the children from all the grades would form a walkway under the veranda that connects all the classrooms.

So from both sides, there was a line of about 200 children or so holding roses and other flowers. It was a sight to see. The line started with 1st graders and ended with the 8th graders and that meant that we could see the line slanting upwards, according to the children's age and height. Beautiful.

So here come the seniors and at the end of each class they stopped their walk and the class teacher made a little good-bye speech and the children presented them with songs and verses. Each song was related to whatever the theme of the grade was. So they comprise among others of native, Hebrew, folk, animal and earth songs.

And after their song, they gave each senior a flower. Two things were abundant during this passage: tears and flowers. Not one senior walked through with dry eyes. Parents, likewise. The flowers were just beautiful. They were so many and the scent so powerful that it put us in a state of awe. There were also a Rumi poem and Beatles songs.

The last song was sung by the High School, who then made another path for the seniors that led to the school big canopy where the school assembles at the beginning and end of the school year. "Let It Be" it was. And now there were hugs and tears and good-byes in profusion, for they were all the HS friends.

After that, forming the lines were the HS teachers. More tears and more hugs. And finally we, the parents.

So ended the walk; the whole school gathered beneath the canopy. All the classes were sitting on the ground according to grade. The seniors in line came up to the set of stairs that replace a stage. They were all hugging their flowers, oh so colorful and so fragrant! And there they were applauded as if they have just finished a most brilliant performance. I'd say they have.

At last, the bell started to ring, the whole school stood up and were led by the seniors in one of their verse which is said every day during their school life. So this was the last bell that the seniors heard and the last time they said their verse.

To wonder at beauty,
Stand guard over truth,
Look up to the noble,
Decide for the good;
Leads man on his journey
To goals for his life,
To right in his duties,
To peace in his feeling,
To light in his thought,
And teaches him trust
In the guidance of God
In all that there is;
In the world-wide all,
In the soul's deep soil.

Then the classes left and the seniors remained for last pictures. I didn't take any. Figured that I might as well enjoy this last day and keep it in my heart.

As I already said, I was sobbing. After all, this is also the end of my Waldorf School years. Will there be more talking of gnomes and fairies? Will there be birthday verses? Will there be morning verses?

Will there be home-made bread and soup? Would I hear beautiful music and see more beautiful grounds than those of the Waldorf School campuses? Will I see more beautiful work of art on the walls and artifacts on display? Will there be candles on the table? Will there be nature tables expressing every passing season? Will there be blessings before the meals?

Will I hear the teachers singing when they call the children? Will I see such artistic drawings on the blackboards? Will I see square crayons and beeswax modeling "clay"? Will I see scarves knitted in wool and embroidered napkins? Will I see knitted cases for their recorders? Will I see shields and hear Micael's song in defeating the dragon? Will I sip hot cider and walk with a lantern to welcome the dark months of winter? Will I celebrate May Day and see dancing around the Maypole? Will I walk the perilous path during Halloween? Will I celebrate Advent with candles and walks?

Will I hear the faculty sing to the student and parent body? Will I see the beautiful Main Lesson Books? Will I hear inspired verses and songs created by my son? Will I hear him sing with that powerful soprano voice of his? Will I read well written and interpreted adnd mature research papers? Will I see my son wear slippers while he moves to Eurhythmy? Will I see teachers hugging my son because he needs nurturing? Will I see teachers playing with my son? Will my son teach me what he is learning? Will I pack lunches?

Will my life be surrounded by such beauty and love?

My gratitude to the Waldorf Schools that embraced Alex and for the Waldorf education that sculpted his soul transforming him into this beautiful human being that he is, is unlimited. From now on I say: I may have done terrible things while raising Alex. But the Waldorf Education is the best gift I could bestow him.

Though I may not ready to let him go, he is absolutely ready to take his first steps towards the world, forever wondering at beauty, standing guard over truth, looking up to the noble, and deciding on the good.

May God bless you and illumine your life, son of mine. I will be silently walking with you forever.

Prosperity And Abundance: Your Attitude Will Determine Which Side of Town You Live On!

2006-06-06T15:50:00.000-07:00

Imagine you are walking in the woods and you see a beautiful brook running along your path. You decide to sit by it and observe your surroundings.

You notice that your senses are excited by the smell of the water and plants around you, or by the sound of the splash of the water hitting the rocks and trees; you also hear the birds singing.

You see the water running ever so smoothly; you feel a cool or warm breeze touching your skin...

You are most appreciative and grateful for the opportunity you were given to be able to delight in the place. You are now rested and continue your walk.

As you go along, you now see a puddle of stagnant water. It is dirty and it has a certain stench which you don't appreciate. The place is a breeding ground for mosquitoes and this is all you can hear, and feel, and see.

There is some rotting wood in the puddle and green stuff covering most of the water. It is not a pleasant place at all, and, disgusted, you can't wait to get out of it and move on.

Now, if you have to choose, what experience would you prefer? The one that makes you more connected with the true energy of life or the one that makes you want to run away from?

Of course, we all prefer to savor the delights of a place that brings so much to our life experience. Well, it is the same with our finances and our attitude about them.

When you realize that the energy of money can be appreciate from a standpoint of pleasure and delight or muck and stagnation, you don't need to be too clever to choose the first instance. However, many times you dream of the beautiful brook but keep standing in front of the murky water. It seems you are paralyzed and you don't know how to get out of it.

Now, you can rejoice and know that there is a way and that way is all about your attitude towards money and prosperity. If you have an attitude of poverty, no matter how much money you make and how many things you receive, you will always be poor, for your mind is set that way.

So the trick is to change your attitude. Easy task? Not at all! But very doable! So this is what you do: Accept the fact that money loves you. Appreciate it. Appreciate what it brings you. Appreciate those who give it to you.

Grab some money and keep looking at it and declaring your gratitude for it. It doesnt matter how much it is, really. Grab a dollar bill or a 100 dollar bill. Speak with it (better do it alone or with like-minded people).

Say to your money: "Thanks for providing me with the ability to pay my bills, or to buy food, or to pay for gas... anything. I know you love me as I know there are plenty of people who love to give me money. I am truly grateful for that."

See? Here you are not the one doing the action of loving the money. You are simply appreciating it because you are receiving the good energy it has to offer you. You task to simply acknowledge your gratitude.

This exercise will change you attitude and soon you will truly be sitting by the brook and enjoying what it is has to offer you. Go for it!

The Zest For Life. Live Fully, Abundantly, and Longer

2006-05-31T11:57:00.000-07:00

Have you ever realized that there are so many older people who are healthy and happy and who keep a great attitude towards life? What do they have that we could learn, copy, and live the same way? They have a zest for life that is even more expressed the longer they live.

Now, throughout their lives, these men and women have indeed faced tribulations and tragedies just like the rest of us. They have laughed and they have cried; they have suffered and they have loved, they have lived good and bad days; they have lived through wars, epidemics, and ordinary and extraordinary diseases.

They have raised their children and grandchildren; they have lost and they have gained. They had ups and downs. Nothing truly different from our ordinary life, really.

Now that they realize their life is getting shorter and they have fewer expectations, they seem even happier. They have learned to let go of the past. They take care of their health and appearance, they participate in their community’s affairs, they give their time and talents to those who are ready to receive them. How do they do that?

Of course, their attitude is a great thing, but it is not my point for now. How they live and the reason for this great attitude of them lies in the fact they have come to terms with their "expectations." And I am not saying this because they have none. Not at all. But the way they deal with expectations differ from us who have yet a long time to live.

Rarely is the older person who has learned about the Law of Attraction and the basic concepts of Metaphysics, which are so widespread these days. So, for them, as for others who do not dwell in spiritual laws (I am not talking about religion), the notion of us being responsible for the nature of our life is a foreign concept.

Therefore, just like us before we knew better, their thoughts have provided them with the quality of their life, be it positive or negative. Hence, their ups and downs. Now that they have fewer expectations they are happier. They have learned to take life at face value. Their minds are not playing tricks on them.

See the connection? Since they don’t expect negative events, these events never manifest. They have finally learned to truly live in the present, and because they fully live in the present, their future is better. And they are happier. Al older gentleman told me this past week: "At my age I don’t even buy green bananas!"

But humor apart, we need to understand that this doesn’t mean that we too should have fewer expectations. It means that we need to trust that our expectations are always positive.

So the lesson today is that if we live in the present and expect the positive, we will not only have a great life now, in the present, but also tomorrow, our future. And who knows, we can be Mister and Miss Universe at age 120!

How To Cope With Loss: 5 Strategies That Will Help You Survive

2006-05-23T15:38:00.000-07:00

Any loss is very traumatic, be it the loss of someone or of something. You may have been prepared for it or it may come as a surprise, more like a tragedy, really. The greatest advantage of knowing in advance that you are going to part with someone or something is that you can say a proper good-bye to it.

Suppose a family member is about to die; instead of pretending that nothing is happening, you will feel better later on knowing that you said your farewell. You may also have a chance to make any ill-will right again. You may apologize, you may declare your love, you may show you care, you may laugh, you may introduce a significant other, you may pay a debt, and so on. Of course, all this is not going to make your grief any less; though it will greatly reduce any guilty feeling that you may have later on.

Or, suppose your last child is leaving for college. Though not a total loss, the empty nest experience may be tremendous, especially if you have had a great relationship with this child. Nevertheless, the loss is real for something is about to change. And changes, positive or negative, are never without distress.

Now, the worst loss is the one not expected. That is incredibly traumatic and may make you absolutely desperate and inconsolable. In this case, it may take you a little longer to work on your grief as usually you tend to ask the question that is not to be asked: "Why?"

Though it is easier to cope with the loss in the first instance than it is in the second one, a loss is a loss and the grieving process is all the same. To help you cope with it so that you can move on, here are 5 suggestions:

1. Take time off so you can deeply feel your sorrow. Do what you must: cry, scream, kick, punch. Let the anger come out and do something about it.

2. Relax and de-stress. You can visit with your true friends and find opportunities to laugh. Chill out and relax. Go for walks in nature, take a bath, make love, appreciate the beauty around you.

3. Do something you truly love. It can be taking up a hobby. Good things to try are the ones you use your hands, for your heart has a special connection to your hands. Let you heart speak. Or else, you can volunteer for a cause which you are passionate about. Think of what causes you great sorrow every time you see it. Volunteer for that.

4. Learn something new. This is a good time to take up piano lessons, or painting, or dance and drama, or learn a language, or learn a computer program.

5. Plan for the next stage of your life. Remember that if you don’t plan, life passes you by. Be proactive, dream and transform your dreams into goals. Check my article: "How to Transform Your Dreams Into Goal" for this step.

You will notice that soon you are not only feeling much better but you are also dramatically improving the quality of your life and those around you.

Who Wants To Apologize? How Simple Words Can Heal Your Life

2006-05-16T21:54:00.000-07:00

Apologies… Why is it so easy for some and so hard for others to apologize? Usually, those who are reluctant to apologize do so because of fear. They are afraid of being humiliated, of being perceived as weak; of recognizing that they did something “wrong” or inappropriate or unacceptable; of being rejected; of accepting the fact that they are, after all, humans and therefore subject to errors now and then, etc.

Any reason that makes people feel uncomfortable is just an excuse which prevents them from simply apologizing. Declaring “I am sorry,” “I apologize,” “Please, forgive me,” is indeed very liberating, though nerve wrecking to some.

Of these expressions, the most charged is the latter for one simple reason: when you apologize the action comes from you; you are actively saying you are sorry. You are not really engaging the enemy, so to speak. Since you are doing the action, you can simply apologize, turn your back and move on.

On the other hand, when you ask for forgiveness, you become a passive player because you are not in charge of the outcome; rather, you are the recipient of someone else’s forgiveness. And that can be very scary to many.

In many cases, the questions that come to your mind might be: “What if the person does not accept my gesture?” and worse, “What if the person does not forgive me?” Your defense mechanism enters in a state of alertness. Your adrenals kick in, and the fight or flee reaction is triggered.

You may be afraid of being rejected; your self-esteem may be shattered, you might understand the powerful “truth” that you are not loved. You feel trapped and you become paralyzed and hence, you’d rather disconnect with the person than going so much out of your comfort zone.

So to get out of this trap, please, understand this one premise once and for all: It is not for you to decide if you are forgiven or not. Your doing is to apologize because you somehow hurt the person. That is all you have to do.

Whether the person accepts or not your apologies, whether the person will in fact forgive you is NOT your concern. Each person is responsible for their doings. You do yours, they do theirs. It is absolutely none of your business whether or not you are forgiven. It is your business to apologize once we understand apologies are in order. Simply that.

Some people naively think that they can control what others think and do and that is an absolutely waste of time. You can only control what you do. And that is it.

So, next time there is a need for you to apologize and you are afraid to do so, think that you are liberating yourself from any wrongdoing. Do it for yourself and know that the benefits of your action are far reaching, even more than you can imagine. By apologizing, you are, most of all, healing yourself, your life, the person, your relationship with the person, and the world.

Getting Lost To Find Yourself

2006-05-09T16:00:00.000-07:00

How many situations can you remember that only by getting lost you found your way?

I literally do this all the time. In fact, I usually make a point getting lost, so I can learn my way around. It happens each time I move to a new place. I call it the "Game of Getting Lost." It is time for exploration.

I get into my car and go explore places. I drive into the roads less traveled, so to speak, and go around and around finding my way around back to the main road, getting into the little veins of the city, observing the areas around me, especially the beautiful houses and yards and nature on my way.

I love it when I see an obscure road expecting great surprises coming to me. Granted, the surprises come. I get lost into rural areas, business districts, school areas, the industrial part of town, the poor side of town, the rich side of town, the train tracks, downtown... it is all very fascinating.

I get to learn where shopping places are. I pay close attention to those businesses that particularly interest me. "Ah... this is where such and such is!" "Oh, look at what they have here..." Those are just some exclamations of pure elation.

And each time I find my way, I celebrate it with a great gusto. I know I am back to a familiar place, which give me great pleasure and fills me with a sense of security and safety. Even though invariably I find myself in a different place from where I begun, I know something has changed. I am now wiser, more knowledgeable, more experienced.

So, how can we use this game to improve our life spiritually?There are two ways:

One is by going to the "underworld," that is, by using a traumatic event to get to know our own demons, to face our reality, to transform our shortcomings, and so on. It usually happens when we are faced with a severe disease or with an extreme broken heart. Though the situation is highly stressful and intense, this is a great opportunity to study who we are, to cleanse what is ragged, and to add what we most desire.

The other circumstance is when we decide that our reality is not serving us anymore; the life we lead is not that joyous, we do not particularly appreciate what we have become and what we are manifesting into our life, and we understand it is time for a change. This is a conscious choice that we make and from there, we look for opportunities to better ourselves.

Interestingly, when we are ready for this change, most times we don’t even need to look for these opportunities: they will fall into our laps. We only need to take advantage of whatever is being offered to us as a steeping stone and go from there.

This is when we play the Game of "Getting Lost." Both ways are not easy, though one is much less traumatic than the other. They demand that we look deeply into our soul, get lost within ourselves, travel our most obscure roads, observe our surroundings, to finally find our way, victorious.

Can We Not Learn From Other People?

2006-05-03T16:44:00.000-07:00

Throw the first stone he who hasn’t made a mistake.
It is a prerogative of life to teach us through our mistakes, a fact that is really unfortunate, as we would be much better off if we learnt from the mistakes of others. Here are some conjectures...

Wouldn’t it be great if we could just not repeat the very same mistakes that most of our elders have made and hence, grow up much more rapidly and then make brand new mistakes so others would learn from us and grow up even more rapidly? How advanced we would be!

But no, here we are, teaching our children and friends what NOT to do, only no one listens to us, as we practically never listen to anyone either. Why is that? We don’t listen and invariably we screw up. Though most of them are light, some mistakes carry huge consequences.

How many times did your parents teach you something that came in the one ear at the same speed that it went out the other? Why do our children do the same? And so do we?

Example: Your child decides to jump off a tree near a spiky branch lying around. You see the danger, you yell “Don’t jump!” and he does it anyway. He stumbles and nearly loses an eye when the branch hits his face.

Question: Has your child learnt to listen to you or as has your child learnt not to jump so close to another branch?

Consequence: None, but potentially serious.

Example: You see your teen backing up and driving faster than it would be safe on a parking lot. You repeat over and over: “Careful, don’t go so fast. This is a parking lot and you may hit cars and, God forbid, people!” She keeps ignoring you until she nearly hits a car or nearly runs over a pedestrian.

Question: Has you child learnt to listen to you or has your child learnt to slow down in the parking lot?

Consequence: None, but potentially serious.

Example: Your parents know that you tent to drink alcohol and while taking drugs (soft or hard). They say “This is very dangerous. Stop doing it” But you ignore them and do it anyway. So one of the times you mix the two you feel very bad and among other things you nearly lose your consciousness.

Question: Have you learnt to listen to your parents or have your learnt not to mix drinks and drugs?

Consequence: None, but potentially serious.

How many of potentially serious consequences have we faced throughout our life? What if they indeed come to pass? Why can’t we just accept the fact that the experiences lived by others are a great tool for our maturity and therefore we must pay attention? You tell me!

But I tell you… Next time someone gives you an advice, think twice before ignoring it. At least, if the consequences of your actions are not severe, you don’t have to hear: “I told you so!”

When Our Children Become Our Friends

2006-04-26T10:37:00.000-07:00

Michelangelo once said that within every block of marble there is a great sculpture waiting to come out. I say the same about our children. When we receive them in the world, we don’t know what kind of beings they are and what their potential will be.

Nevertheless, we act as Michelangelo, for, inside every parent, there is a sculptor of children. We know there is a great sculpture coming out; we only need to shape our marble block. We do this by teaching our children what we believe is right, by passing onto them our values, by feeding them the foods we think are the best, by providing them with the best possible education, by showing them our religious/spiritual beliefs, by directing them to the best friendships, by encouraging them to pursue hobbies and activities we deem important, and so on.

In sum, we do the best we can with the tools we have available. If anything is lacking, it isn’t because we don’t want to give, but simply because we do not possess the necessary resources to provide them with.

And so, from infancy we start molding the block, partly knowing what kind of sculpture it will be, and partly expecting some surprising features. The truth is that our children are in reality a surprise, and, no matter how much we have provided them with, we truly never know what the ultimate piece of art they will really be.

In any case, as with any living thing, if we feed them right, they grow. Suddenly, our children step out of childhood and become teenagers. According to developmental psychologists, and I like to cite Rudolf Steiner, at age 14 they are truly ready to start detaching themselves from ourselves.

It is the beginning of their parental emancipation. This process is not at all easy, as those who have had teenagers will confirm. Moreover, the more attached a child is to his parent, the more severe this separation will be. It hurts us, parents, but we need to learn to let go because it is now that we re planting the seeds for our future friendship with them. And soon it will happen.

We all have gone through this: here we are, walking in our parenting path when suddenly by age 16 or 17… “Wait a second”! You say. “Where is my child”? You ask. And dumbstruck, you realize that your child is not a child anymore. Your child is now a whole person with their own set of beliefs and values, attitudes, behavior, etc. What is worse, your child is leaving home! My, time flies!

But the greatest thing about losing your child is that your relationship has turned 180 degrees. Suddenly you see yourself discussing politics or philosophy or religion. You read the news and have a conversation about it. You say to each other: have you heard about so and so, did you read about this, what do you think about that, can you believe that, did you know that… and on and on you go and you notice that you are actually exchanging opinions through fantastic pieces of conversation.

Congratulations! This is your aha moment. A moment when you realize that your child has become your friend. Or can become one as soon as you let go of strict parenting and treat them with the same deference you treat any other adult. You will have conquered them forever.

Being a Tourist of People

2006-04-19T17:45:00.000-07:00

When you happen upon a place you haven’t seen and you wish to visit, the first thing you do is to gather information about it. If you have the opportunity, you go to the place’s Visitor Center where you find maps, brochures, lists of activities and festivals to participate in, restaurants, shopping places, typical souvenirs, etc.

Everything you read is very descriptive. Using good marketing techniques, the readings tell you why the place is worth your visit. Every single positive point is described: all that is good, wonderful, interesting, poetic, beautiful, intriguing, exciting, fascinating, distinguished, memorable, curious, historic, relevant, humorous, remarkable, illustrious, quaint, extraordinary, romantic, and so on. You get excited and motivated to visit all that interests you; all that you feel attracted to.

And indeed, because you are attracted to the sites, you find them all marvelous. The result is that not only you thoroughly enjoy your visit but you also tell others about it, so they too, may enjoy it, making you happy that you were able to please them.

So, in truth, what exactly happens? When you understand the Law of Attraction, you know that when you go to a place, you most likely align yourself with what it has to offer and because of this alignment, your visit becomes perfect. You come to visit only that which truly interests and fascinates you.

So what is my point?

My point is that I don’t see why, as human beings we don’t do the same thing, i.e., make believe that we are a tourist center and believe that others are one too? Do cities and the like show their visitors the "poor side of town"? Do we look for it? Of course, not! And yet, sooner or later we will find it and only then we learn to deal with it in the best possible way.

Wouldn’t be nice if we could find the best attributes of any person we already know or meet which align us to them and therefore get to know them well, find them attractive, and appreciate them?

Wouldn’t it be nice if, next time we meet someone we ask them what makes them unique and likeable? Every single person has characteristics that please us. How about we look for them and forget what does not please us? We can also do the same for them: we show them our most attractive aspects.

How many people you know and love don’t possess all the attributes that you most like and nevertheless you forgo them because the person has other things that you like? We will not find the quintessential perfect person and we will not be the perfect person either; however, we can certainly align ourselves with them and love and be equally loved. We simply need to look for the attributes that attract us the most and… voilà!

So, let’s make this a game, the Tourist Game and not only show the best we have to offer but look for it in return.

Education is a kill joy

2006-04-10T22:29:00.000-07:00

We all sure have suffered in the hands of the “latest educational fads.” Forty years ago, children would fail one subject and consequently had to repeat the whole year again. Sometimes, they would fail for missing as little as .25 points on a final exam.

Dedication, hard work, good participation in class, a positive attitude…nothing would count towards making the grade. They were considered failures, not of the system, but individual failures; it was their fault that they didn’t make it.

I have a friend who is a sad example of this system. When he was in 5th grade, he failed Latin for, perhaps, half a point. He needed to repeat the entire year because of Latin, only, the discipline Latin was removed from the roll and was no longer part of the system.

In other words, he was held back for something that didn’t exist any longer. How tragic is this? And worst, how did that make him feel?

Later on, the system determined that children were not supposed to be “punished” in such way. In came the theory that "recuperation" was a better approach to dealing with those who couldn’t pass the class.

They would study during vacations to make up for lost work. Then they could go on, provided they made the grade. In my opinion this is a far better way to evaluate the students. And fairer too.

But the system kept moving forward until we arrived at today’s democratic education, for lack of a better term. This system, though gentler to the student’s self-esteem, is another disaster, for now, we have happier students who get into college without the ability to read and write.

Too many college students are in the “7th grade bracket.” Now, when we think that these are the people controlling every single aspect of our lives in the near future, one wonders how we will ever survive the flood of semi-literate people leading our country.

The trouble is now that we have two extremes. If, on one hand we have competent people who have suffered because they were called “impaired,” “dumb,” “idiotic” and “slow” to say the least, we also have extra inflated egos who can barely write their own names.

So, what are we to do? How can we solve this paradox, and, not only prepare our students for a great and realistic world, but also to do so in a way that each one will have his place and be happy for it?

The educational system has failed us, the aggravation being that we think that everyone should go to college. I disagree; college education, for example, is not for everyone.

In today’s society, only 25% of college graduates work on their chosen field. So, why waste resources, personal and governmental, in pursuing an education that will be useless from an occupational standpoint?

My point is that, as with every society in the world, ancient or modern, literate or illiterate, there is a place for everyone. Even in Brave New World the expression “to each, his own” applies. This means that, in the same way that we are not all made to be lawyers, politicians or artists, we are not all made to be janitors, mechanics, or truck drivers.

In a truly democratic society, where education inspires the individual to do his best in whatever occupation he or she chooses, everyone is a winner, because everyone is truly happy.

How Can You Mend a Broken Heart?

2006-04-05T10:58:00.000-07:00

Having a broken heart is nothing to laugh about. If your heart has been broken in the past (whose heart hasn’t, really?) or is broken now, you know exactly what I mean. Besides the depression, all sorts of negative feelings pile up on an already stressed body and not only feel like dying but you might also develop a serious illness that may indeed kill you.

At this point, you are so unfocused on the positive and so focused on the negative that it is a wonder you can function at all. You go against the Law of Attraction that states that you get what you focus upon. That means that instead of being relieved from your pain, you are getting even more of it.

Never you worry, though. The Universe is very forgiving and always says YES to you. So, no sooner you shift your focus, your reality will shift as well, from the negative, to the positive.

There are 3 steps to take when you break your heart.

Grieve
Grieving immediately after your loss is the best way to go. Don’t put off this important step. The longer you take to do it, the longer it will take you to heal. Dive head on.

Go deep into your wound. Cry, scream, punch your pillow, kick rocks, go to your underworld if you must (just like Orpheus). Face the darkness. Do what you need to do without pretenses. You must be true to your hurt, to your feelings. Your acceptance that you are hurt is your biggest step for your true healing. You will come back from it a much stronger person and ready for the second step.

Plan
To mend a broken heart you need to go on a journey, your healing journey. And as with any journey, you need to plan. You don’t go on a trip without knowing what is going to happen beforehand, would you? Even if you are following other people’s plan, you want to know what is happening. This is planning.

When it is time for the healing journey, many people hop on an unplanned trip, because they don’t know better and they make many mistakes along the way. Don’t fall in that trap. Plan and date what you need to do to mend your broken heart.

Take action
After you plan, the next logical step is to take action. Here are some steps that you may take to make sure the path you chose is the best for you. Here are some suggestions:
1. Accept responsibility for your healing
2. Take time for yourself
3. When you are inspired, take action
4. Remember that “Today is a gift; that is why they call it the present”
5. Forgive each and everyone, past and present
6. Understand the Law of Attraction
7. Release negative people from your life
8. Dive into your spiritual work
9. Do your affirmations and visualizations
10. Be grateful. Appreciate. Bless
11. Expect miracles

So here you are. You may have a broken heart now, but remember that this too shall pass. And when it passes, you will be so much stronger you will appreciate the journey you went to. And you will bless it.

The Blessing Game: Money

2006-03-28T13:24:00.000-08:00

We all know that, to open the channels of abundance and prosperity we need to bless money and those who have it and use it for the good.

Of course, it is not up to us to judge why a person needs to use the money to buy expensive cars and mansions when half the world is starving. We also need not judge the actions of others. This is not how prosperity comes about. Accepting the fact that it is all right that others have money and property is an important step in opening up our channels. That means that, if there is money for others, there is also money for us. The Universe is very generous and there is enough for everyone.

So you need to bless. There are several things that you can do to start right now. Here are some of them.

1. Bless your money

You may think that you can’t bless it because you don’t have any. Not true. It doesn’t matter how much you have, as long as you focus on it, and not on how much you don’t have. Think about the amount you have and bless it. I love to say the following affirmation when I think about my money: “Divine Love blesses and multiplies all that I have, all that I give, and all that I receive.”

2. Bless your stuff

What are your possessions? Bless them all. You will realize that you have much more than you think you do. Bless you refrigerator, your washing machine, your car, your furniture, your decorations, your lamps and shades, your telephone, your computer, your dishes and silverware, your toiletries, your pens and papers… You get it.

3. Bless your bills

Now this one seems to be the most difficult. Who wants to bless the credit card bills? Or the phone, or the energy bills? However, your bills reflect great abundance because they tell you that you have been enjoying certain things that you deemed important or necessary, and that made you live more comfortably or that made you feel good or that helped you achieve something. For example: you used your credit card to pay for gas. This gas made your car take you to places you wanted or needed to go. Bless the gas bill.

4. Bless your source of money

Now, here you have two choices and you want to bless them both. The first is your job, which is one source. Even if you don’t like your job, remember those who don’t have one and hence, don’t have this luxury of making money on their own. The second source is the Universe, or God. When you trust that “God provides” you let go of mistrust and you will notice that the Universe has always something for you, no matter how difficult is your present financial situation.

5. Bless others

If you see a car that you like, bless the car and the driver. If you see a house that appeals to you, bless it and its residents. If you see someone dressed with clothes you would like to have, bless the person. If you see children with toys you would like to give your children, bless the person and the children. Always bless more than this one person. But, no matter what you see that you want to have as well, instead of feeling envious or jealous of the person who has it, say to yourself: “I am gonna get me one of this too. May the Divine bless you and your family.”

Happy People Are More Abundant!

2006-03-21T18:06:00.000-08:00

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Ever noticed that the happier a person is the luckier he or she is as well? They find money on the street, not just pennies; opportunities abound; doors open up for them; they have lots of friends and a great family; they love their occupation; their health is just perfect; they enjoy life; they laugh easily; they have energy, they are vibrant. When you see a happy person you cannot but notice that this person has everything, and more.

They live in the “eternal” mood of someone who has just fallen in love; you know, that pink feeling that makes everything all right. If they need help with a project suddenly people drop out of nowhere to help them. They buy a raffle ticket and win the prize; on a conference, they sit on the chair which has attached underneath it free a trip for two to Hawaii; they go buy a car and are given another just for being the 1000th customer; they near-miss a car accident, they are invited to many different and beautiful places by their friends, they are always in shape and well groomed…you get the picture.

Now, how come everything happens to them and not to me, you may ask? Perhaps you are always broke; there is never enough; you hate your jobs; you have terrible relationships and very few friends; you are lonely and sick; you have to deal with rude people; you are cheated upon; you have to deal with silly little troublesome circumstances such as the inaccurate bills, services that need to be redone (carpet cleaning, for example), computer malfunction, etc. The list is never ending, it seems.

Well, I am happy to say that the reason for this huge discrepancy is because happy people live in a higher vibrational state than most of us do. Now why am I happy about that? Very simple. Because it is guaranteed that all of us can turn around our energy from a low to a high state, and hence become happy too and, consequently, attract abundance to our lives.

This is not an easy task, however simple it may be, but it is certainly very doable. Here are some suggestions:

1. Appreciate

Give thanks for everything you have; for instance, a warm house, indoor plumbing, a functioning car, healthy children, a job, etc.

2. Bless

Bless everyone and everything you encounter. Bless your bills, bless your credit cards, and bless your checks when you pay them. After all, you did buy something useful with them, gas, electricity, and phone service, for example.

3. Take deep breaths

They will fill you soul and all the cells in your body with good energy.

4. Be grateful

For every good thing people do for you and every good situation. In fact, be grateful for the bad ones as well, for they serve as a reminder that you are not quite aligned yet. You will.

5. Raise your expectations

If you expect the good and the perfect, they will come to you. Affirm to yourself: “everything comes to me in perfect ways.”

6. Do your affirmations

Every day, as much as you can.
For example: “Divine order is established in my mind, body, and affairs.” Keep going.

7. Let go of outcomes

Relax knowing that whatever happens, happens for your highest good.

If all else fails, do as Bob McFerrin told you to: “Don’t worry, be happy!”

Click the back button to go back to this week's newsletter.

Pack Rats Have it All

2006-03-15T17:06:00.000-08:00

Do you save everything you come across thinking that you may need it later? Do you have to skip over old magazines and other documents while you walk on the floor of your office or your living room? Are your tables and countertops overflowing with papers? Are you closets filled with clothes that are two sizes smaller for you? Can you produce a 20 year-old piece of garment? Do you have practically empty bottles of shampoo, jars of creams, and tubes of toothpaste in your bathroom cabinets or in the shower? Do you have unmatched silverware, glasses, or plates? Do you have cans and brushes with dried paint in the garage? Do you leave your car in your driveway because it doesn’t fit in the garage?

Of course, any affirmative answer to one or more of these questions means that you are a pack rat. Hoarders are nothing more than ordinary people who either lost the ability to organize their environment (or perhaps who never had this ability in the first place) or who have trouble trusting the future and hence feel insecure about it. In any case, they save everything for an eventuality and because they can’t discern the necessary from the unnecessary, they accumulate all they can. And just like everyone else, they like a clean and organized space. They are simply programmed in that way.

We are all somewhat like that; we vary in degrees. Some people need to clean the house, meaning un-clutter the place before someone can come and clean the house for them. Some are just absolutely overwhelmed and give up without even trying.

No matter what the case may be, based on the Law of Attraction, the truth is that they are not positively aligned with the Universe. And working on it won’t do it either: the feeling of failure is too much to bear.

Many books suggest how to clear clutter. For example, instead of putting away nostalgic stuff or souvenirs, take a picture of them and put them in a scrapbook. Old clothes, dolls and toys, pieces of decoration, dried flowers of a wedding bouquet, you name the memento, putting them all in photo format will save you a lot of room and dust.

What interest us the most is the alignment part of the deal. Nothing will happen in perfect ways if your vibration is not aligned with that of the Universe. As you already know, procrastination will kick in. To align yourself for such daunt task you need to start appreciating what you have. Though saying things aloud is very good, I would recommend you write them down as well.

So here’s what you do:

1. Appreciate things in our house: the old and the new ones alike. Make a huge list, if necessary.

2. Write and repeat the following affirmations: “I am now just about ready to let go that which I do not need at present.” “As I make space, new and better things will come to me.” “Even though I am letting go of my old stuff, I am safe and well.”

3. Visualize your rooms clean and organized. Go one by one in your mind and see them how you would like them to be: freshly painted, clean, smelling fresh; whatever you fancy.

4. Visualize those who are getting your old stuff and how they are happy that you can provide for them. They appreciate you. Appreciate them in return; after all, they are also doing you a great favor.

5. Visualize savoring the huge reward that you will give yourself when you have accomplished this marvelous task. Keep your word, even if it means putting on extra weigh because you chose to give yourself a huge Sunday or a box of bonbons.

Keep doing these steps until your wish for action is so great you need to start right away. You will do a beautiful job which will make you feel great. There is nothing better than feeling good.

Do You Suffer From Prosperititis?

2006-03-08T10:14:00.000-08:00

Yes, I have just invented the term. It came about from an episode of cystitis that one of my kitties suffered and had to be hospitalized twice these past 10 days. The common name for cystitis is “urinary tract infection” or “blockage in the urinary channel.” This example may be a little graphic, but bear with me, there is a good analogy here.

I saw my kitty Zeh squatting many times and not being able to pass urine. He kept trying and grunting in pain but nothing happened. This is a common ailment in people as well. Adding insult to injury, there is a burning sensation that increases at every attempt to urinate, resulting in great suffering with the aggravation that unless you get hospitalized and take severe medicines, there is no alleviation of the symptoms. The facts are clear: You are in pain and you cannot produce urine.

Now, in a manner of speaking, the same happens to many people, only now the disease is a “blockage of the financial channels.” These are the people who recognize they have a problem and are aware of the protocols used to solve this problem.

They have tried to open their financial channels to the Universe using the Law Attraction, doing energy work, participating in classes, visiting professionals, praying, doing affirmations... you name it. And yet, somehow, they keep sabotaging their healing, on a much deeper and unconscious level. No matter what they do, their prosperity channels do not open as they should. After all, the spiritual laws of the universe work for everyone, not just the lucky ones.

In my view, this is strictly a problem of unresolved emotional issues, especially those related to low self-esteem, lack of self-confidence, fear of success or failure, and a deep belief of un-deservedness. In sum: self-loathing.

So how to solve this problem? How can you make someone love him/herself? How do you make people belief that they is worth of abundance and all the other goods the universe has to offer? How can you help a person who suffers from this grave problem? The simple answer is that you cannot.

This problem can only be solved when you go deep into yourself by means of meditation or reflection and have a dialogue with all parts of your being: your body, your mind, your heart and your soul. Since you already know the cause of your blockage, now ask yourself how, when, why, where, it came to pass.

You will receive an answer as long as you are open and willing to accept it. Once you do, you will feel that you are now in control of your life and you can change things around and unblock not only your prosperity channel, but your health, relationships, family, and career channels as well.

How can you work on it? Writing daily on “My Healing Journey” is probably the simplest way. I will give you other ideas next time…

Lent: A Time For Reflection Even for the Non-Christians

2006-02-28T22:11:00.000-08:00

Historically—this is an extremely shortened version of this account— the Lenten season tell us about the time when Jesus, the Christ went to the wilderness to reflect and meditate. Among other things, he spent 6 weeks, about 40 days, without food and shelter. Just meditating.

Nowadays, if you are a Christian, you know that the Lent season starts after Carnival, or Mardi Gras, and lasts 40 days, culminating with the celebration of Easter. This is a good piece of information even if you are not a Christian.

For those who live in the Northern Hemisphere, this is a time when spring is coming, and with it, the sense of renewal or rebirth of nature. For those who live in the Southern Hemisphere, it is a time when autumn arrives and with it, the quieting of the Earth and the preparation for the darkness of winter. In both cases, nature invites reflection.

Now you may ask: “What do I care about Lent if I am not a Christian? Well, I say that no matter what religion you belong to, if any, seeing that nature is also inviting you to become more aware of the seasonal changes, Lent may be the best excuse for you to go into your cave for a little while and, as others have done before you, to reflect and meditate on your life.

What can you do to take advantage of such a great time for the renewal of your soul as well as the renewal of your body and your life?

Here are some suggestions:

1. Take time off. Go for walks, take hot baths, go for bike rides, or skiing, etc; preferably alone.

2. Quiet down. Be silent. Turn off the radio. Avoid phone calls.

3. Refrain from watching TV, especially the news. Remember that there is always someone who will let you know what horrible tragedies are hitting the globe. You will not feel deprived of information.

4. Slow down: delegate what you can. Put off for tomorrow as much as you can. The world will not end because of that.

5. Eat wholesome, nutritious food. Let go of sugar and junk. Eat organic foods and take your supplements.

6. Let go of grudges, resentment, judgment, unkindness. When your mind starts rampaging on someone, immediately turn your thoughts around and send the person to the light. That includes you.

7. Avoid conflicts. Stay away from arguments. Use your manners. Be nice to people. Smile.

8. Pray. Ninety percent of the planet’s population believes in a higher power. No need to ask for anything. God already knows what you need. Just be thankful for your many blessings.

9. Focus on what you want and it will expand and manifest to you. Dream. Dream big.

10. Appreciate everything around you. Bless everyone you encounter.

11. Care for those who cannot care for themselves. This includes older people, children, and animals.

12. Be gentle with yourself. Use natural products for your body. Move slowly. Practice some Yoga or Tai Chi. Take deep breaths.

13. Cleanse your body. Drink herbal and medicinal teas.

14. Do your journaling. Use mine if you don’t like to write that much.

15. Meditate on your life. Where are you? Where do you want to go?

There. I hope you will pick up on some suggestions and practice them for these 40 days. Come Easter, you will realize how much better you feel and how much you have improved the lives of those around you.

I am away

2006-01-28T08:18:00.000-08:00

I haven't posted for quite some time. Don't worry, I will be back soon.

Maria

Some inspiration

2006-01-05T10:31:00.000-08:00

Life, I am the New Year.
I am an unspoiled page in your book of time.
I am your next chance at the art of living.
I am your opportunity to practice what you have learned about life during the last twelve months.
All that you sought and didn't find is hidden in me, waiting for you to search it out with more determination.
All the good that you tried forand didn't achieve is mine to grant when you have fewer conflicting desires.
All that you dreamed but didn't dare to do, all that you hoped but did not will, all the faith that you claimed but did not have -- these slumber lightly, waiting to be awakened by the touch of a strong purpose.
I am your opportunity to renew your allegiance to Him who said, 'behold, I make all things new.'
I am the New Year.

Recipe for a Happy New Year

2006-01-02T14:08:00.000-08:00

Take twelve whole months.
Clean them thoroughly of all bitterness, hate, and jealousy.
Make them just as fresh and clean as possible.
Now cut each month into 28, 30 or 31 parts, but don't make up the whole batch at once.
Prepare it one day at a time out of these ingredients:
Mix well into each day one part of faith, one part of patience, one part of courage, and one part of work.
Add to each day one part of hope, faithfulness, generosity, and kindness.
Blend with one part prayer, one part meditation, and one good deed.
Season the whole with a dash of good spirits, a sprinkle of fun, a pinch of play, and a cupful of good humor.
Pour all of this into a vessel of love.
Cook thoroughly over radiant joy, garnish with a smile, and serve with quietness, unselfishness, and cheerfulness.
Enjoy!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

2006-01-01T17:04:00.000-08:00

What a great year lies ahead of us.
May you be blessed beyond belief!
Maria

Cleaning up

2005-12-28T20:35:00.000-08:00

This week has been a triumph. I managed to clean my office up and also sort all the papers floating around the house. I am also so very busy writing my articles for EzineArticles.com, I barely have time to do anything else but sleep.

What a great week.

My free tele-seminars on how to build the ultimate New Year's list are getting a lot of response. No wonder, it is almost the end of the year.

I will come back soon.

Happy Sacred Season!

Sacred Season

2005-12-22T20:50:00.000-08:00

Being politically correct or "religiously" correct these days means we have become too generic. "Holidays" being too impersonal, I decided to call it the "Sacred Season." After all, holidays is more on the "fun" side than on the "spiritual" side, not that they can't co-exist.

So I wish you a most perfect Sacred Season.

The Producers

2005-12-21T22:13:00.000-08:00

The other day I saw the screening of the Producers, the new version, that is. And that kept me thinking: why do people insist upon transfering theatre to film? Being different from each other, people should realize that while a theatrical production is fabulous, whatching it in film does not have the same effect.

I'd much rather watch the theatrical production of "Springtime for Hitler."

Let it Flow

2005-12-16T14:34:00.000-08:00

A friend made up this song, based on Let it snow.
Sing along and get into the abundance energy.

Let It Flow
Oh the weather outside is sunny
And my bank accounts full of money
And since I have so many things I want
Let it flow, Let it flow, Let it flow

It doesn't show signs of stopping
And I'm heading out to go shopping
Let my bank account just keep building
Let it flow, Let it flow, Let it flow

When we finally just get happy
The abundance really gets snappy
And if we just keep that vibe
Let it flow, Let it flow, Let it flow

Well my bank account is really growing
And it's due to all my knowing
So as long as I love me so
Let it flow, Let it flow, Let it flow

by Deb Kolsovsky

In celebration

2005-12-14T20:35:00.000-08:00

Since everyone is talking about celebrating, here are some items that I am celebrating:

1. After over a year in a search of my true vocation, I finally opened my new business as an educator, spiritual and life-coach, called Prescription For Bliss.

2. I put together my website, which makes me very proud indeed.

3. I have learned about Internet marketing from experts who graciously taught me for free. I am diligently applying what I have learned.

4. I lost 20 lbs.

5. I discovered Tai Chi.

6. I rescued two delightful kitties.

7. I had a marvelous relationship with my son Alex, whom I adore.

8. I started two blogs.

9. In less than 2 months, I wrote 45 articles for Ezine Articles.

10. I am publishing my own e-zine.

11. I am learning about shopping carts, Web hosts and a myriad other things I never thought I would learn about.

12. I am writing a book and another is on the way.

13. I met great people through my teaching.

14. I have become a better person.

15. I am grateful for the chance of sharing my successes with you, great people, and perhaps starting a relationship with all of you.

16. I met friends I hadn't seen in 40 years.

More to come...

17

2005-12-13T11:11:00.000-08:00

My son Alex turned 17 yesterday.

He cut school so we could spend the day together. We went to buy some movies, since he is the film guy, then we had a nice salad at a salad bar. Then he went to see King Kong with a friend. Too bad we are not in Brazil, for he would have visitors galore.

It is great to live in a place where people still pay visits to others.

The Dollar Bill Game

2005-12-09T16:50:00.000-08:00

This is a fantastic game that I strongly recommend you play to increase abundance.
Please, visit the blog at: http://www.thedollarbillgame.blogspot.com
All the directions are there.
Enjoy!

The pleasures of teaching

2005-12-08T17:49:00.000-08:00

I have taught all my life, or, at least, since I am in my early teens. Needless to say that I love to teach. It is a lot of fun, especially when I teach languages. This semester I got to teach my best language class ever. Imagine, teaching for so long, and the last language class that I will ever teach turns out to be the best. What a treat!

The highly interactive nature of my classes allow us all, instructor and students to know each other very well. This is a very small list of things that I know—too bad I forgot so many of them:

Nancy is a fantastic grandmother. She also likes to sing and was once Elisa in her High School musical. She is also a teacher and very quiet in class. I guess she gets tired of dealing with teenagers all day and needs a little space.

Piush comes from Nepal and is always bringing chocolate candies in class. She is very generous, for the constantly shares them with us. She usually has lunch with her friends. Piush is very outgoing and is part of a very chatty group.

Aman is a very handsome young man from Fiji. His girlfriend Noriko is Japanese. Small international treat, provided by Uncle Sam’s ability to gather international people. Both are MIA, unfortunately. I missed them.

Talking about being international, I once had a dinner in my house. At my table sat 1 Indian, 2 Americans, 1 Japanese, 2 Brazilians, 1 Austrian, 1 German, 1 Swiss, 2 Brits, and 1 Argentine. Marvelous! Only in this country. That was the night I caught fire, literally. But this is another story.

Anyway, Beth plays the cello, is a librarian and has 6 cats. Her friend doesn’t like the cats, which is unfortunate. She is quite and very dedicated. A reassuring presence in class.

Drips is a delight. Being so spontaneous, she makes me laugh a lot. She comes to class with her mother, Peri, who I am sure, came to class just to keep her daughter’s company, as she is proficient in Spanish, which, by the way was a great help during the semester. I love to have other people to back me up, especially when I am a little tired and my mind is all over the place.

Drips wants to be a missionary and she likes to travel to Romania. Peri has 6 children, which is quite the accomplishment. I see her poise and wonder if I could ever be so centered having so many children. Both mother and daughter are always smiling and that feels good.

Tiarra loves to study and it shows. She is a very good student. I don’t know much about her for she opts to remain quiet in class.

Erin is a brave girl. The second day of class, she removed her 4 wisdom teeth in the morning, and showed up in class in the evening. She loves to talk and is also part of the “Chit-Chat Bang Bang”—I just named that group, by the way. This group also gave a presentation on Argentina and Erin had a 5 hour history presentation given in 7 minutes. I couldn’t understand a word she said! Good thing I could read her PPT.

Foster had some problems this semester and had to travel to LA almost every weekend. She has a son and tried to put an event together using “gambling” only to hear the day before the event that she was not allowed to do so. Bummer.

K left a little earlier. She is a researcher and writes grants for education. She is now in Chile, good for her!

Ruben is a shy young man, so I didn’t get to know him very well. I know that he was feeling fantastic on the day of his oral presentation. That is good.

Nick was elected by me to be the “vice-president” of the class—me being the president. Very reliable and always happy, he has a daughter whom he adores. He is an occupational therapist working for the school district. He just ran the Sacramento marathon. Good going! BTW, the new Narnia movie is very scary for young children.

Danny is another happy young man. He is a DJ, has always a smile to share and keeps playing with God knows what electronic device he has. He is never stressed and is very funny. I told him to become a public speaker when he retires from DJ’ing.

Veronica is quite quiet, loves her family and is very religious. She is also a good daughter and a dedicated student. She is a Chicana, thank God, which means she could help me with vocab, when I needed a word or two. Like my son Alex, who can speak Portuguese fluently, it is easier for her to speak Spanish. What a blessing, to be able to communicate in more than one language.

Juanita is always dedicated, attentive, and responsible. She studies at the big university and in the evenings, regale us with her constant presence and reliability. It seems to me that she is the anchor for the CCBB. They couldn’t get a better group mate.

Kari found a job she likes. She was a little anxious for a second there. I think we celebrated her birthday this semester, or am I totally losing my mind? She bakes great cup cakes. She is very quiet and sometimes comes to class wearing pajamas. Talk about being comfortable!

Miguelito became our mascot. Or at least, mine. Being the youngest in the class and having a true Libra personality, he delighted us all. He is also a great pianist. He is applying for colleges now, as he is only a Senior in HS! A very brave young man he is, keeping up with other college students and adults alike. You go, Miguelito.

John is a returned student. I am glad he liked this class better and, therefore, stuck to it. He is a very good student but what makes him special is his way of taking care of all of us, either by bringing a battery to fix our class clock, or by being in charge of the projector, the video, and the sound system. A great man to be around.

Amanda intrigues me. She is very reserved and erratic in her attendance. I don’t know her much besides the fact that she is also very quiet. Something is going on, I am afraid.

Clarita is funny. She looks at me and laughs. I wonder if I am the funny one. She is also very de-stressed and cares not when she gets into class. She is a good swimmer. But we feel her presence and she has a constant smile on her face that brightens my evenings.

Actually, I think this is the greatest smiling class I have ever had.

Anyway, Nancy, the last on the list. Very quiet, sitting in the back of the room, I see that she is diligent. She is the mommy of two kittens (or was it 4?). She is going to Mendoza, Argentina as an international student. She will love it!

So here you have it, in a nutshell. I wish everyone a very happy un-birthday.

Feliz Navidad y un Próspero Año Nuevo.
Adiós, clase.

Chronicles of Narnia

2005-12-07T10:08:00.000-08:00

Remember when you read the Narnia series and felt so enthralled that your heart beat faster, and you held your breath so intensely that you thought you would die of suffocation?

This new film "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe" will do the same for you. It will fill your soul and refresh your mind.

Let's have more magic like this, please.

Coming out

2005-12-04T18:16:00.000-08:00

I don’t understand why gay people need to announce to the whole world their sexual preferences. Is homosexuality a disease that must be disclosed so people will not catch it by avoiding contact? If AIDS, a disease that can be fatal, does not have to be disclosed (and that is the law), why this hoopla about homosexuality?

I think that sexual preferences are just that: sexual preferences. Who talks about their sexual preferences? Do people vent to anyone what their masturbatory preferences are or how they like to be penetrated? I don’t think so. Now, aren’t these examples of sexual preferences?

Whose business is it that a man or a woman is sexually attracted to a person of the same gender? I think that this coming out business is another way to justify discrimination and prejudice. It is also a needless painful announcement for those involved.

Kill the bastards!

2005-12-02T09:01:00.000-08:00

I am opposed to all sorts of killing. I abhor the slaughter of animals, the death penalty, wars, etc. I always thought that killing in any form is unjustified. Until now, that is.

I had never really faced the issue of “child molestation, pornography and abuse” too seriously. You know, some things just go over you head and you don’t think much about them.

But I just read about this American guy who will probably be facing the firing squad in Vietnam for child abuse. I also read about this priest (one of them) who had molested several boys during his tenure as a parishioner in some city. Suddenly, I thought: Hey, this idea of the firing squad is a great idea!

I don’t care what you do: the sexual exploitation of children is a crime that should be punished by death. No questions asked. Kill the bastards!

Mercury Retrograde

2005-11-30T15:38:00.000-08:00

Yes, there is such thing as cosmic forces, or cosmic energies. The one that I think affects us the most is Mercury Retrograde.

As we all from the Mythology, Mercury is the god of communications. Well, when the planet Mercury seems to be going backwards in the heavens, we say that it is retrograde.

This means that the communications systems get screwed-up one time or another. But that's not all. Cars break, planes delay, appliances stop working; you miss important deadlines, you miss important contacts; you save your work only to realize that the system freezes and when it "defrosts" your document ahs been converted to God knows what and now, your book has 2MB of undecipherable words.

All these circumstances (and others) make you very "happy" indeed!

Mercury Retrograde happens 3x/year and usually lasts 3 weeks.

It is ending this weekend. At last!

The Pleasure of Learning

2005-11-29T19:17:00.000-08:00

As a student of life, I get great pleasure in learning about things in areas that interest me when they interest me. Let me explain.

Like most people, I operate in cycles. Each cycle triggers my interested and then I learn everything I can on the subject. Interestingly, my interests surround my right brain qualities.

During the past 10 years or so, I have had cycles from which I learned about Feng-Shui, Nutrition, Homeopathy, Natural Medicine for people and animals, Flower Remedies, Essential Oils, Vegetarianism, Buddhism and Spiritualism, Metaphysics, Anthroposophy, Religion, Divination, Reiki, Everything Medieval—music, households, children, family life, witchcraft--, HTML Coding, Distance Education, Copywriting, and Internet Marketing. I think that’s all.

I have read plenty of books, participated in plenty of workshops, seminars, courses, classes. Except for Internet Marketing, which will expand my business tremendously, none of the others were pursued with the purpose of improving my finances, but rather, to make me grow. And during the years, I have added each subject to my lifestyle and my “knowledge bank” which affords me to use them all the time.

Today, however, I realized that, it is all right to learn about things and make money in the process. This principle totally contradicts what was ingrained in me for decades. It is all right to be spiritual, natural, compassionate, as well as wealthy. In fact, we should strive to be both. Thank God I woke up!

Greensleves

2005-11-26T18:51:00.000-08:00

Don’t you just love this time of the year?

Regardless of the rampant commercialism that I don’t care much for, Christmas has a special flavor for me. Even in California!

When I was in upstate New York, this time was simply magical. Now, even without the snow and the freezing temperatures (thank God), it is still fabulous.

I specially love to tune to my favorite radio station, Capital Public Radio, KXPR in Sacramento, and hear beautiful carols and other celebrative classical music. Just today, I heard Greensleves, as my inaugural seasonal piece. This kind of traditional music puts me in such a state of bliss that nothing in the world will cause it to be disrupted. I particularly like the ones played with harps and brass. They sound like the smell of pine and cinnamon filling the air with an incomparable sweetness.

It is like listening to Dvorak or Mozart or Beethoven or Mahler, my most favorite composers of all time. Classical music, and in this case, Christmas traditional music fills my soul with the wonder of the divine. Who can get angry or aggravated or upset, when God’s music fills the senses?

Thanksgiving

2005-11-23T16:29:00.000-08:00

Call me hard core; call me fanatic, call me radical.
The truth is that what I hate the most about Thanksgiving is the stupid meal tradition—not to mention that myth of pilgrims inviting “Indians” for a meal. Please!

Why do people need to slaughter millions of turkeys every year, to follow a tradition baffles me, especially when turkeys are generally tasteless anyway.

Some traditions should be abolished. I’d say: let’s abolish everything that has to do with human or animal sacrifice. No one should be harmed or worse, killed so that others can have a good time.

We need not inflict pain and suffering upon our earth companions just because we are the top of the food chain. We have a choice, we know better; we can do better.

Now, if only we redirected this beautiful tradition of giving thanks to just giving thanks and showing our appreciation for the blessings we have in life, then, our tradition would really have a meaning. No turkeys, no TV, no pumpkin pie (yuck!). Let’s just get together for a day filled with spirituality and gratitude.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Family Gatherings

2005-11-20T17:37:00.000-08:00

Have you ever noticed how powerful it is to have routines? For someone like me, this is indeed a strong compliment. You see, I hate routines. I love variety for everything. To date, I never know when dinner will be served!

Children and animals are specially rewarded when we follow a certain routine for things.

I will tell you about my kitty Zen. Zen loves to go outside using his flap door, through the garage. Now, every time he wants back in, he doesn’t use the same door. He climbs on the windowsill of my office and looks at me.

I get up, go to the window, open it and in he comes. I pet him when I open the window. Then he goes to the floor, rolls back and forth, cover his eyes with his paws and then stretches his whole body, belly up, waiting for me to pet him again.

I give him a good petting and come back to my chair at the computer. Zen goes out again.
Ten minutes later, he is back. And we re-start the process. Sometimes he takes longer to come back. Sometimes he comes back every hour. Sometimes I forget to look at the window and then see him patiently waiting for me. His eyes are glued to my face, so that I will not miss him when I look out.

This is a routine that he has established for me to pay attention to him. I take the opportunity to stretch as well and to give thanks for all the blessings in my life. I love it.

Things we resist

2005-11-17T18:47:00.000-08:00

Resistance is nothing more than blocking our energy from getting what we truly want. Every day we find different things we are resisting and then get upset because things are not as they are supposed to be.

Avoiding resistance requires a lot of practice but the good news is that it is never too late to do it. But you need to pay attention to your life.

How do we know we are resisting something? I find the easiest way to detect resistance is by noticing warning signs. Now, I am a person who has some difficulty understanding universal hints. By that I mean, for me to pay attention, my angels need to be screaming at the top of their lungs.

I know that things are supposed to be easy. The universe is not complicated. So, when a situation gets a little muddled, I know that I must distance myself from it. Sometimes, though, I forget this “law of simplification” and butt my head into situations that I could have very well prevented.

I have several examples of situations in which my resistance hurt me in absolute certain terms. That means that I am perhaps a little impaired in regards to listening to my inner voice (you may call it: the Universe, Angels, God, etc—the name doesn’t matter, really) and consequently do dumb things.

I will talk about three, the result being that I hurt myself physically. Can’t get any louder than that!

The first was many years ago, when I was living in upstate NY, close to the mountains. Beautiful! Winters for me in that area were absolutely a disaster, so, I decided to make peace with snow and learn to ski. I took my son to the mountains; he was about 6 or 7 years old then. We got there, and he happily went to his instructor and got lost with his little children's group, all day.

I, on the other hand, hated the boots, hated the clothes, hated the goggles, hated the skis. My group, all middle-aged women went its way. As opposed to all the other women, I couldn’t learn to make a curve, to go one direction or another, or even climb the mountain. To make a long story short: I was horrible and hated every minute of it. But I insisted. After futile attempts at conquering the bunny slopes, at one point, I pleaded: “God, help me!” Immediate response: I fell. Two weeks on a crutch.

Later, I was taking this movement course and that day I didn’t feel like playing this stupid ball game, which I hated, but decided to do it anyway, just to “belong.” In the midst of that ball commotion (as all ball games are), I said: “God, give me a break!” Immediately, I saw the ball coming at me (it was not), tripped (in thin air, for there were no obstacles, not even my legs), fell down and broke a wrist. Points to God! Six weeks in a cast.

Just recently, I was doing a pole exercise in Tai Chi, which I love. But I didn’t like those pole exercises because my hands were sweaty and the pole didn’t slide and I almost got blisters. It hurt. Next week I did the same. I hated that exercise and, lo and behold! At one point, I twisted my knee and have been “resting” for two weeks now.

I have many more examples of this resistance. Will I ever learn? I know better. How about you? What are your resistance stories?

Tai Chi

2005-11-15T12:07:00.000-08:00

I used to be a movement person: dance mostly. I always liked dancing. From Jazz dance to country to swing, to ballroom, to folk dance, I did it all, even ballet, which I totally dislike. The only form of dance I didn’t do was modern, because I dislike it even more so than I dislike ballet. I also did rhythm gymnastics, the one with balls, and ropes, and clubs, etc. and Bothmer gymnastics, which is a form of movement based on the teachings of Rudolf Steiner. I liked that a lot.

Of the forms of movement that I tried, the ones I was not too good were: gymnastics, with all that tumbling around and ballet. I also tried but didn’t like: Eurythmy (another form of movement based on Steiner). I could never understand it. Fencing I admit, I could have done better, but I couldn’t take the poking. Too much of it.

Life, however, happened to me big time and soon, I saw myself doing absolutely nothing at all. Suddenly I couldn’t take the music; I couldn’t take the repetitions, I couldn’t take the crowds. I had changed.

Many years passed until I decided I liked Martial Arts. I took a class of TaeKonDo and decided it was not for me. More time passed. I was craving for a form of movement that would speak to my body and my soul. A month ago, I found it. Tai Chi. I just absolutely love it.

Harry Potter

2005-11-12T19:56:00.000-08:00

I have the privilege of having a son who writes for the Teen page of Sacramento Bee, called Sidetracks. Sacramento Bee is one of the best newspapers in California. Alex, my son, does a great job, especially writing film reviews.

The nice thing about this volunteering job of his is that, well, he gets to go to screening of films that are not yet available to the public. And so do I! Today was a good day. We watched Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.

Those of us into Harry Potter delight in seeing the trio Harry, Hermione, and Ron and the whole gang at Hogwarts. Every time a film comes up, it is like we are visiting good friends, or coming home. It is simply delightful.

Today was no exception. Besides great storytelling, cinematography, and wit, this film brings us back to our beloved characters. I like to see how much they have all grown up and older, and how different they look. I was surprised to see how tall the twins are. And so is Longbottom. I think he should wear braces. England is not like the US, as far as perfect teeth are concerned. In the first movie, Malfoy had truly crooked teeth. Now, he has corrected them. Longbottom needs braces.

They all had longer hair, sort of 60’s fashion. Perhaps more like the 70’s. I wonder if this is the fashion at present. Since I am not into the popular media, I am not sure. Harry and Ron are almost the same height, it seems; Hermione is a bit shorter. This makes me think that, obviously either she is tall or the boys haven’t grown much.

I don’t know what they do so Hagrid appears to be a giant. In this 4^th movie, there is another giant, the headmistress of the French school. Don’t ask me names, now! How did they make her so tall? She is even taller than Hagrid, which is hard to believe, and has a slim figure.

The second Dumbledore is not as charming as Richard Harris, with that melodious voice of his, but we now got used to him. Snape is as usual, a great character, though we barely saw him this time. Professor Flitwik, I now recognize was the main character in Willow.

I thought they could have chosen a better looking Cho. She is quite plain and inexpressive. Fleur is very pretty and very skinny. I didn’t like the way they portrayed her: too weak for my taste. But then again, this is absolutely Rowling’s fault. However, for what she has done for the lot of us, I think that, this time only, we should forgive this incredible storyteller, who, by the way, had better fixing that sad story of Dumbledore’s death in the 6^th book. Or else.

Welcome to the world of Harry Potter. Quite delicious!

The Power of Blessing

2005-11-10T14:46:00.000-08:00

This is another “game” I like to play. The Blessing Game.
Have you ever been in a position when you want to pass someone on the road and the person doesn’t budge? You get angry and aggravated and soon you will start saying bad names and then your driving gets worse because of the stress and on and on?

This is the best time to play the Blessing Game. This is how I do it:

Before I leave my house, I bless everyone that I will encounter, especially the ones on the road with me. Now, when I am driving, I bless anyone who is on the faster lane and refuses to make way (Californians are notorious for this—they can’t grasp the concept that the fast lane is for those who go fast, regardless of the fact that they may be disobeying the speed limit, which, by the way, I never do).

Soon enough, if the person accepts your blessing, he or she will go to the right and let me pass. If they don’t accept my blessings, the universe will open a way for me to pass through the right. Rarely is the time when I have to wait for more than a minute to pass the person in front of me, one way or another.

Of course, you may still be mad when you send the blessings, but wouldn’t you rather say: “blessings, you jerk,” than only: “get away, you idiot?” If nothing else, you will feel better, and that is what it counts. Sooner you will learn to disengage your anger and just plain bless the person.

Before I forget, you can also bless every poor soul whose car is broken along the way. I am sure they will appreciate that. I go like this: when I see a distressed car on the road, I bless the person who owns the car and his or her entire family. That feels extra good!

The Abundance Swap

2005-11-08T14:28:00.000-08:00

I just read about this incredible idea called The Abundance Swap.
As it is customary in this country, the day after Thanksgiving is the “official” opening of Christmas Season –though, I have already seen tons of Christmas decorations already, gosh!

Anyway this one man started this tradition that is fast spreading through a community near you. Why not catch up? The idea is very simple. You need a place to gather. Invite your community to partake in the event. Any community will do: your children’s school, your church, your street, your club… use your imagination.

When you invite people to attend the event, you also invite them to bring something pretty, in great condition, that they no longer need. You then go around the place and get the things you want to give as presents to your family and friends for Christmas. Someone else will pick yours.

Voilà! The swap is done. There is no bargain. This is no garage sale. You just swap. No need to fight for a parking spot. No need to face crowds. Can’t get any better than this.

Need more info? Go to http://www.abundanceswap.org/Letter.html

Our resilient bodies

2005-11-06T17:12:00.000-08:00

Have you noticed how resilient our bodies are? We break a rib; it heals, we have surgery; it heals; we have an infection; it heals, we have a cold; it heals. Many times the body heals by itself; sometimes we need a little help. I read a long time ago that researches did a study on the bodies of soldiers who had fallen in the Second War, I think, and they found a lot of scars of tumors that had healed by the body without any assistance. Just like that. Apparently, we all have several instances of malignant tumors during our lives that simply come and go. Poof!

That makes me think that, indeed, our mind is a powerful thing. Have you known people whose physicians gave them 3 months to live and on the clock, 3 months later, they die? And how about those who were also given a death sentence but refused to believe it and went on living forever?

Also, imagine how we nourish our bodies: some people live on junk and others live on everything good. Though I think it really does make a difference how we choose to nourish our bodies, this is by no means a guarantee that we won’t spoil them.

I have a good example: my uncle. He is now 98 years old. His body is not doing too well at present, though his mind is very sharp. Now, this man ate rice and chicken for meals; and tea and crackers for snacks. His whole life. Wouldn’t you think he was malnourished, if we consider the food pyramid? My brother, on the other hand, only ate good things. He passed at age 33. How is this possible?

The truth is that, indeed, when we think right, we get right things. The opposite is true. So, what do you prefer to think? Positive things or negative things? Better not talk about the things we don’t want.

A hope quote for you

2005-11-05T13:52:00.000-08:00

Here is a quote to brighten your weekend:

Expect hope to be rekindled.
Expect your prayers to be answered in wondrous ways.
The dry seasons in life do not last.
The spring rains will come again.

~ Sarah Ban Breathnach

Remember that when you hit the bottom, the only way to go is up.

Are we aware?

2005-11-04T20:31:00.000-08:00

I have a great side job, which I love, teaching a few Spanish classes for a Community College. I will talk about my fantastic students in another opportunity.

One of my classes is held outside the main campus, at one of the teaching centers that belong to the college. Next door to this center there is a hospice. We share adjacent parking lots and in our building there are many messages posted to warn students not to park in the hospice parking lot, under any circumstances.

That kept me thinking. Here we are, all of us, in our daily lives, with our ups and downs, mostly happy, coming in and out of a building next to another building where people are dying. How many of us are truly aware that in the next building there are suffering, pain, despair, depression, stress, sadness, and transition going on day after day, night after night?

Sometimes I feel guilty that my students and I are having so much fun, when so close to us, others are in so much pain, physical and emotional. Of course, every time I pass through the front entrance of the hospice on my way to park my car, I make a point of saying a little prayer for those facing transition, ready to pass the threshold of this life, and hope that their passing is a peaceful one to a world of freedom from pain and suffering. I also pray that their kin are also in peace and that acceptance of death is really part of living.

How many places do we pass during our day where there is someone who is in deep despair? I remember once, my mother told me that on her way to bank she walked by a house, whose occupant, minutes after she passed, shot himself. On her way from the bank, she saw the commotion and learnt of the guy’s suicide. And then she kept asking herself about the man and how desperate he might have been to think that death was the only solution to his problems. And there she was, passing in front of his house, unaware that someone is about to commit an extreme act of violence against himself and hence, incapable of helping.

Have you thought of that? I am becoming more and more aware of this fact and now, besides sending Reiki to all whom I cross during my day, I also send an intention that people find peace. A little prayer may help someone along the way.

The violence of cussing

2005-11-03T11:01:00.000-08:00

Few things are more stressful than driving, I think. And to aggravate the situation, I noticed that it is behind the wheels, protected by anonymity that most people show their dark side. Most of the drivers are very nice people, whom, if you meet at a grocery store, or at a post-office parking lot, or at the video store, would certainly smile at you, at the least. Somehow, being in control of a weapon, the car, in this case, makes them unrecognizable. Jekyll and Hyde.

I find it particularly hard to take cussing. I feel a sense of violence towards me that can only be compared to being robbed or something. It hurts my soul. Now, ordinarily, people don’t curse you on a face-to-face situation. It’s too confrontational. However, they don’t even wait a heart beat to show you the finger or shout the F word or honk in such a way to wake up all the babies in town.

This week only, two instances happened to me that made my heart sink. These, by no means reflect the quality of my driving, which is not the point here. The first one, I was the next on a 4 way stop. This young man decided that he should go too, though it was clearly not his turn. Perhaps he was not paying attention as I was supposed to cross after the car in front of him crossed the road.

Anyway, both of us started at the same time. When I noticed the potential danger of the situation, I hit the break, and was immediately shown the finger while he passed in front of me. With my heart pounding at the violence towards me, I went on my way, trying to find a thought that would immediately make me feel good, to counteract the aggression. But the thought kept churning in my mind: why?

The other circumstance was close to same stop sign. This time, My son and I are coming down the little hill, at a speed of perhaps 35 or 40 mph followed by an older lady behind my car. Suddenly, a squirrel runs in front of my car. As I break for all animals, I swerved to the right – silly thing to do as this was the squirrel’s direction as well — and hit the break, very forcefully.

Well, the lady behind me, either because she was too close to my car, or either because she was not paying attention, got really scared, I think, and hence, very angrily honked at me with all her might. Well, that really bothered me, for not only I have the right to stop for an animal but also because I think it is my duty to do so.

I never did this before in my life, but this time I left the car to speak with the lady. Of course, stereotypes being what they are, I was not afraid she would have a gun in her possession and shoot me in traffic. I was right. I went to her while she opened the window and heard my words: “I prefer not to kill squirrels, that is why I stopped the car so abruptly. I apologize.” And turned and left. She waited until I was opening my car’s door to yell something at me, which, fortunately, I couldn’t hear.

See what I mean? She could have answered something when I was facing her, but again, preferred to use her aggression only after I couldn’t hear.
That situation created other bursts of anger from the few drivers behind us. Even if her behavior made me feel bad and even if the other drivers were mad at me, this time, I felt better, for I was taking a stand for a defenseless animal who doesn’t know better than to cross the road in front of my car. By the way, my son told me I hadn't kill the little creature, thank God.

Now, I have learned that, though we cannot control how others feel, we can try and control our feelings. The best way to do this is to immediately find something to make us feel better. Appreciating anything is the best bet and recollecting great memories is the second best.

A New Face

2005-10-31T21:18:00.000-08:00

Well, I did it.

My site was inaugurated 2 weeks ago. Today, it has a total new face. It went through a major plastic surgery and came out of it looking really swell.

Check it out, sign up for my e-zine, and pass it on to your friends.

This is it for today. It is Halloween, yours truly here had to pretend she was a wicked witch. Just to keep appearances. It was exhausting. I'd much rather be the good witch; always.

Ghosts from the past

2005-10-29T22:22:00.000-07:00

I had the privilege to study in the best public school in the city of São Paulo, I am afraid to say, 40 years ago. In fact, at that time, they were called Gymnasium and High School. The first comprised what we call today the 5th to 8th grades, and the High School, from 9th to 11th grade.

High School was also different, for it was divided into 3 categories: Classic (History, Philosophy, Languages, etc.—for the right brain students); Scientific (Physics, Math, Chemistry, etc—for the left brain students), and Normal or Education (for the future elementary teachers). I was a Classic girl. My brother Junior, a Scientific boy.

This said, I need to add, that mine was a public school. To get into the school, we would take a very difficult exam to enter 5th grade, that is, at age 11 or 12. Imagine that. At that time, only those who were average or below average, who didn't pass the exam for public schools, would attend private schools (with a few exceptions).

Being part of that group was the best thing that happened to our lives, for few can boast to have had a better adolescence than we did. Ours was a group of cohesive students who did everything together. We would have different subgroups and we would rotate from one to the next, depending on the activity we fancied at the moment.

My brother and I, inseparable, would go out to parties on the weekends and come back safely at 4 or 5 am. We spent our days going to friends houses either to study or to party. We were never alone. We would go to the theatre, shows, and dances! We knew everyone’s family members and were considered part of many families. Margaret Mead was right: it takes a community to raise children, and ours was an absolutely outstanding one. And all this in this big city that was (and is) São Paulo. Ah… those were the days, my friend; we thought they’d never end.

But when we least expected, these days did end, each of us going to a different university, getting settled, marrying, raising families, and working. Rarely, we would think about our great group of true companions and friends.

Forty years passed. We are now in our mid-50, all of us. A few have left us (my brother being one of the first, I think) and some are spread around the globe—I am one of them. But most of them are still in the city. All of us are living as pleasant a life as we can.

Enter Orkut. Indeed this Age of Information is a great thing. Before Orkut, there was, and still is Skype (www.skype.com), this great program that allows us to communicate via computer to anyone who possesses a computer and a microphone. All without cost.

So here I am one Friday late afternoon, speaking very leisurely with my cousin in São Paulo, when he mentions that there was a community of our school who meets at Orkut and that he recognized some people who belonged to our group. He invited me to enter and in I went.

Man! Talk about surprise! There are many people from our group in that virtual community. I am re-visiting people and getting to know about their lives. We exchange photos of our children; we post old class photos and try to discover who is who, we remember the good old days; we talk about our teachers, principals, counselors, student guardians, janitors… everyone! Some of them are even meeting face-to-face.

This is even better than a High School reunion—a concept that doesn’t exist in Brazil—because we meet everyone, not only our classmates. It has been a fabulous experience. I met some old friends, even a former boyfriend, among others and we took off as if not one day has passed since the great days of "Alberto Conte." And that was 40 years ago. How fantastic is that!

And I get tears to think that, in fact, true love never dies. I loved my friends and they loved me. Life goes on. Beautifully. All we need is love!

Do you know your values?

2005-10-26T12:36:00.000-07:00

Do you know what your values are? Do you know which one is more important to you? Have you ever ranked your values?

Knowing our values is very important and yet, no one teaches us how to do it. Every time I am in traffic, I think of this very point, when I see “Support our Troops” bumper stickers in some cars. Then I start to pay attention and I find a lot of little hints about people’s values, just by reading other stickers and license plates.

Sometimes, I even go to the extreme of quantifying people’s values: how many W’04 I see as opposed to “Don’t blame me, I voted for Kerry,” among many others, of course. It is a fun exercise that tells me how different we all are; and most of all, tell me that these differences are mostly due to our different values.

So, what if you are a patriot and your co-worker isn’t? Or perhaps, you don’t mind white lies while your life-partner can’t tolerate them. I can give you an example that just happened to me. I went to pick up my son at school, and the only place available to park was in a 2-car blue zone. There was a car waiting in that area, not in the spots, but transversally.

Before I parked my car in the next blue space, I told the mother driving the other car that we would have more space to move and park our cars if, instead of parking across, she would park in the blue space that was unoccupied. She was taking “road” space and provoking a little jam in that area. She responded to me in an outraged mode that she would never occupy a blue parking space. Her tone was also asking me: what kind of person are you, anyway? Upon hearing her remark, I asked myself what was the difference between parking in the space or across? She was preventing someone to park there anyway!

Now, mind you that no one, I repeat, not one single person has ever occupied either spot, ever! During my 4 years of daily picking my son up, and attending events and business, and so on, I have never seen a “disabled” license plate in any of the two spots. That means, that I know no one will park there, especially at pick up time, so it matters not if I wait for my son inside my car in that very spot. Granted, it doesn’t matter; the law is the law.

But hey, "authority rests upon reason" or hasn’t anyone heard of "The Little Prince"? If one is inside the car, when and if the need arises, one can immediately remove the car from the place and let the due person occupy the space. In fact, waiting inside the car is not really parking; it is called standing. Anyway. So this is a good example of how we deal with our values.

Now, how we do deal with the people who so much disagree with us either with big issues or one little tiny detail in our daily lives? I have a good exercise that teaches everyone to clarify and rank their values, and hopefully, allow people to understand that it is precisely these differences that make us more interesting. Perhaps, in this way we may learn to tolerate others more easily.

I am unforgettable

2005-10-21T09:17:00.000-07:00

This entry today is all about me. All my life, I have had interesting relationships with family and friends, co-workers, students, acquaintances and people in general. I came to the conclusion that I am unforgettable. Except for those brief encounters with store and bank clerks, for example, or the oil change people, and so on, who will not really notice me except for my accent, everybody else either loves me or hates me.

No one, not one single person who has come in contact with me for more than one day, can boast that they can’t remember me or that I am indifferent to them, or even worse: that they can’t remember me (ouch!).

In Brazil we have a saying that goes like this: "speak well or speak badly of me, but, speak of me!" There might be some equivalent in English, which I don’t recall. Well, it happens to me. I don’t know why that is. Perhaps it is my intensity, perhaps my outspokenness and verbal expression of my likes and dislikes, or perhaps my sensitivity, reflected in my crying for the stupidest reasons. Or perhaps it is by the way I speak, my words, my accent, God knows.

The fact is that the same qualities in me that make me just delightful to some are the same that make me odious to others. There is something in me that triggers laughter in some people and while triggering misunderstand in others. Is that my dry sense of humor? Some people think I am very funny, while some can’t understand me at all. All this, just by my using the same words to the very same people in the very same context at the same time. How is that possible?

This is mostly apparent in my classes. Some of my students have a ball with my way of teaching, while others look at me with a puzzle look that makes me wonder about their intelligence! It is true that humor is a reflection of intelligence.

I have discovered that those who can’t find humor are not the brightest people. In any case, I am not saying that those who don’t love me are dumb. I think perhaps the best way to describe those who love me is by acknowledging their high sense of self-esteem and self-confidence. That’s it!

But then, I know some people who dislike me and are ok in this department. I think I might trigger in them responses to some of the qualities that they possess but don’t like. You know, there are some people we don’t like and when we decide to investigate the reasons for our disliking them, we find out that we have the same qualities that they do, except that we don’t like to have them. Anyway. There are many possibilities to continue this speculation. I will think of some more.

The question remains: would I want to be loved by everyone? Certainly. Loud YES! Wouldn’t it be great? But I need to recognize that we are all different people with different personalities and set of values. This will remain a wishful thinking. Hey, dreaming is good!

Now, if only the ones who love me were more vocal than the few ones who don’t…

Launched!

2005-10-17T09:22:00.000-07:00

This is a very brief entry just to say that I am very excited that my website is finally online. Go check it out and let me know what you think. I need all the feedback I can get. And, while you are at it, sign up for my short and fun e-zine (which for those who don't know yet is an e-mail newsletter). When you do that, you will get a 3-part Values Clarification course (no charge, of course). Find out why learning about your values is important for your happiness.

The address is: http://www.rx4bliss.com
I am thrilled!
This is a great day!
See you there!

Confessions of a former man-hater, III

2005-10-12T09:48:00.000-07:00

This thought kept churning in my head, and then it dawned on me the truth of my reality, our contemporary reality. The problem we are facing today, more than ever is that we lost the awareness that happiness and fulfillment as well as unhappiness and divorce are truly a woman’s doing. In other words, a relationship can be happy or lasting. If it is happy (no matter low long it lasts), it is because of the woman. If, on the other hand, it is lasting but unhappy, it is the man’s doing: he just puts up with his woman’s demands. That is all. Let me repeat: happy relationship equals women's responsibility; unhappy but lasting relationships equals men's responsiblity. Let me be clear, here. Of course, there are many instances where happiness is a product of both husband and wife's work of love, but what you see around is that this instance is more of the exception than the rule.

I know I may be attacked by many when I say this, but I truly believe that, once a man is committed to a relationship, only in his spouse (or whatever you call us: partners, significant others, wives, fiancées, girlfriends, etc.) lies the responsibility to keep the relationship or to make it a happy one. Think about this. You can ask any man and he will tell you that he will do anything to please his spouse. Anything! Can women say the same thing? I can’t, and I am but one in this vast ocean of demanding women in our Western culture.

It is my belief that it is the woman who drives her man away. Women have so many expectations that have no basis whatsoever that, when these expectations are not met, which will inevitably happen, they start a series of bitching and provocations that will eventually destroy their relationship, or at least, make it unbearable.

So, I started to write the book, scolding women for provoking chaos and unhappiness. I wanted to support men, the regular guy, the average Joe. I wanted to make sure my readers understood that, as an author and a woman, I had no agenda other than honoring ordinary, hard-working, good men. I had no intention to discuss any group in particular, be it criminals, conservatives, liberals, gays, anti-feminists, pro-feminists, movie stars, politicians, rappers, jocks, rapists, etc. Also, I had no intention to make of this book an academic essay, though coming from academia, I find it a rather difficult task. And, at present, I still don’t have any of these intentions.

But, along the way, I had an epiphany. No, it was not an epiphany: I was told blatantly to leave men in peace and not meddle in their affairs. I, who was only trying to help them, was cast away. They thought that only they can redeem themselves. So be it. With the tail between my legs, I stopped trying to be their “princess in armor,” and, not at all discouraged, I decided to change my whole approach. I turned my book into a woman’s book, so she can understand who she is dealing with. You will have a chance of reading it, whether you are a man or a woman. I am sure it will resonate some with you.

What you are going to read is my way of healing the wounds and injuries that I (as well as many women my generation and beyond) have inflicted or are inflicting upon our fellow male companions during what should be a delightful journey on this earth but which, more often than not, is just a plain nightmarish voyage.

I will let you know when it comes out. If nothing, you will be entertained.

Confessions of a former man-hater, II

2005-10-09T19:14:00.000-07:00

My son Alex learned about the world of women came from slow indoctrination, based mostly on situations derived from films and not real life. I am at fault, for, by abstaining of having one, I prevented him to learn about true relationships between a man and a woman. Films were my tools, for I believe that art imitates life, except that in movies people always find a convenient parking spot.

As we sat together to watch movies, I taught him how to deal with situations regarding romantic relationships. Comments such: when you have a quarrel and the woman says: “go away, I will never want to see you again,” what she means is perhaps: “please, stay and show me you love me.” Of course, those teachings are never factual, for one never knows what passes through a woman’s head, really; not even us. Women are emotional beings, everyone knows that.

This is nothing new. And, of course, men know this very well, too. This is just one example of many situations that happen in real life between men and women. In any case, based on this type of situations I taught my son to behave in relationships with women. Of course, he learned through my own experience, through the eyes of an overly emotional, albeit strong, woman; Theory is not practice, however, and God knows what will happen when he will be faced with a real life situation.

But, as I was saying, Alex is now a young man, and despite all my preaching, I see in him the characteristics of all the men I have ever known: father, brothers, relatives, friends, lovers, preachers, teachers, and general acquaintances. There is no denying; he has the male blueprint. Testosterone. Boy will be boys; men are men. Now, how bad is this, you may ask?

From the standpoint of a feminist, this is absolutely unacceptable. I would not be caught dead living with a guy like this, though he is a sensitive, right-brain kind of a guy. Our compatibility is striking. So why would I have problems living with a man like my son, totally compatible with me, a very nice men, to put it mildly, understanding and sensitive to women’s issues, loving and caring, helpful and friendly, expressive in his love and attentive, intelligent and funny, considerate and just, artistic and philosophical… you got the picture, in sum, a real dream man?

Is it because I have to ask him several times to please, take the garbage out or, could you please, for once, find what you are looking for without requesting my help, or, aren’t you going to comb your hair today? What stupid reasons are those? And then I asked myself: what kind of a woman am I? What is wrong with me? Can’t I understand and accept men as they are? And how many millions of women are just like me, even to a lesser extent; women who are making their men’s lives so utterly miserable? So, then, I kept thinking: Heck! If Alex gets a woman like me, he will be in big trouble. I need to wake him up for what is really happening today regarding relationships… to be continued

Confessions of a former man-hater, Ilight

2005-10-06T16:34:00.000-07:00

I have a confession to make. Regarding my love relationships, I used to be a bitch; one of those really nasty feminists that see men as the enemy or if not that extreme, simply good for nothing. Actually, I always thought men were very good for opening jars and changing light bulbs. That is all.

I used to fantasize about how to deal with men: my greatest fantasy was to use them for pleasure or procreation and then kill them, just like black spiders. Or use them and zap them to somewhere else in the universe where they were not to be heard or seen, ever. Beam them up, Scotty! Or, in another version, that we women would all live in a place separate from all men and then, coming pleasure time, choose between the ones who attracted us the most and use them and then send them away again.

Let them testosteronize away—good verb, huh?—and make their wars and leave us alone, I used to broadcast. We, women, would all be fat and happy. We would wear what pleased us the most and eat whatever we desired, especially chocolate, at any time we pleased, not thinking once that our bodies were not attractive for “them.” Who cares? Ahhhhhhhh, a life of freedom. What a dream that was! Because of that, I drove away a score of men, all very good, until only the “bad” guys remained.

Pity. So here I am now… 54 years old. Fruit of the Women’s Lib movement. Divorced twice. Successful. Brazilian. Over educated. Single Mother. Former feminist: never wore a bra! Former male-basher, of course – please, send me those funny jokes degrading men. As a professor, I was once accused of being a man-hater by a student. Too true; though I thought this comment was not only unkind but absolutely false as well. I guess my transparency couldn’t be helped.

My two marriages were simply a disaster. I had no tolerance or appreciation for men in general, husbands in particular. Nothing that my husbands ever did was good enough for me, including sex. Though I loved them, living with those men was just impossible then, as living with a man would be now, had I the guts to get into any romantic attachment again. But, as the saying goes, I don’t hate men this much to impose such an ordeal upon them. I am not cut out for this. Never was, though I used to think so; never will be.

So one day I was inspired to write a book, one that would show the men’s side of the truth in relationships. But, why this change of heart? What happened in my life for me to change my views on the topic? I can only think of one reason: my son Alex. You see, Alex is at present almost 17 years old. He is becoming a man. As his sole influential parent, I like to think that I instilled in him good habits in what concerns women and his relationship with them. I probably damaged him as well, for his female role model is a very strong woman… former goddess; now an aspiring crone. He has a lot to tell his shrink in the future, I am sure. But that is his story… to be continued.

The greatest college courses of today

2005-10-04T20:42:00.000-07:00

I have 5 degrees. Yes, you read it right. It certainly makes me feel very educated but not wiser or richer than the next high school dropout. I know of many people who did very badly in school and still have the greatest common sense and/or great wealth. However, a higher education is one of the greatest assets a person has and so, everyone should strive to have a college degree.

I think college courses are very important, specially the ones belonging to general education. Those are the ones that will prevent us from being skewed in our education and hence, deal only with engineering or chemistry or history. A complete education must require that all students have a round and complete body of knowledge.

Most students hate to take the GE courses; they think it is a waste of time. I say that it this set of courses that will make everyone know a little of everything and give rise to a hidden talent or at least make one knowledgeable enough to carry a conversation in some cocktail party. One never knows when we will be required to talk about philosophy or Russian literature. God forbid we have nothing to say!

Among the great basic courses that every college offers for its GE program, there are 3 that should be mandatory: Ethnic Studies or Diversity; Finances, and Marketing. The anthropological aspects of our different racial and ethnic make-up are of great importance, especially nowadays, in this global world of ours. One must learn that everyone single one of us, regardless of our religion, background, social economic status, race, ethnicity, marital status, etc., have three basic needs in life: we want to be healthy, wealthy, and happy. We all want our relationships to be loving and harmonious; we all have a sense a humor and laugh at the laughable; we all applaud the beautiful or the moving. We are also all one, interconnected in this web of life.

Learning about Finances is a must for those who want to survive in the global world. Our students are leaving high school and college without the basics of making a budget, balancing a checkbook, knowing about the risks of credit cards, or knowing how to use and invest money to be able to retire at a decent age with a decent income. I know all of this only very well.

Finally, marketing, being the great art of bullshitting, is perhaps the most important of them all. We are constantly selling, even though we think we are not; even though we despise the activity or we think we are not good at it. We sell our ideas or our justifications to our superiors, we sell our values to our relations; we sell our wants and needs to those who can fulfill them; not to mention our selling of ourselves. Who has not gone through some interview and had to sell yourself to get the job? Who has not barter in life, giving something to get something back?

Of course, there are other bodies of knowledge that one must possess to have a balanced lifestyle, but let’s talk about them some other time.

The Prosperity Game

2005-10-01T17:12:00.000-07:00

What is the Prosperity Game? As the name says, it is a game which aims primarily at increasing your wealth thermostat so you can attract and feel comfortable using more and more money, and, by focusing on the subject, you end up accepting more of it into your life. The idea is very simple. Remember your home thermostat: it works by default. Harv Eker --http://www.millionairemind.com/-- says that when you have your thermostat at 72 degrees, no matter how hot or how cold the temperature is outside, it will always compensate to increase or decrease the inside temperature to keep it at 72. The same happens with money.

Our major example is the lottery: suddenly people make millions of dollars only to lose everything down the road. Why? Because their money thermostat is much lower, and hence, by default, it has to come down. On the other hand, you also have the millionaires who suddenly lose everything and soon later, become millionaires again. Guess why?

So the Prosperity Game was created. There are many versions, but I recommend The Prosperity Partnership-- http://www.choosingprosperity.com/game/, though I like the older version better for it is less limiting. Now, you may ask: Why do I want to increase my money thermostat and be more prosperous, more abundant? And my answer is very simple: Why not? Money may not bring happiness, but wouldn’t you rather be depressed sitting by your pool in your beautiful and comfortable home, in which garage sits your fantastic new car?

Anyway. Before I found out about these games, I had been playing my very own version. It goes like this: I am driving or doing something where I am absolute captive of my space and time, taking the shower, for example. There is no escape for my thoughts and they better be good ones. So, I imagine having great wealth. In fact, I imagine having an unlimited amount of money. Then I start by distributing my money to the people who have helped me financially in the many stages of my life when my thermostat was really low. They will be refunded 10 fold. I figure this is a good amount. So, for example, my cousins gave me $500 once. I will give them $5000; my son’s school helped his education with tuition assistance. They will get about $200000; and son on.

Next, come the members of my family and my close friends. My sister-in-law Sonia will get an apartment at her favorite beach. She loves the beach and is a sun worshiper. My sister Cora will get a beautiful furnished apartment close to her work. She also gets a laser surgery to get rid of those thick glasses. My brother Alex will get a weekend, fantastic home in the country. And so on and so forth.

Last—or first, it matters not—come my favorite philanthropic dreams: I will buy a huge piece of land and make lovely homes and send all the homeless people who want to relocate to the place. Each family gets a furnished home. I will then create some type of activity where they can exploit their talents and make money doing what they love. I also will create two associations to help women, one of them building a place where single mothers in welfare may go to work and while there are cared for, in the same building. There will be a beautiful area for nursery etc and the mothers will be sewing fabric bags and purses (among other things) to make some money. They will all have free lunch and snacks before they are bused home. The other one is my animal sanctuary, where I will rescue all the neglect animals and have them live in peace and health for the rest of their days. I will have at least one horse that will never be mounted and a calf that will wean naturally. My chickens will run free and every animal will have its space to roam free. I now need to think how I am going to separate the predators from the other animals.

And on my imagination goes. Of course, I make sure that I attach a certain figure to each of my projects, just so the game has a more specific value. This is a great game and I invite you to play it as often as you wish. It is absolutely liberating and makes me feel fantastic. Try it.

Last note: I play the game on myself and my son as well. And we always come first, as it should be. Have fun!

The Game of Appreciation

2005-09-27T11:44:00.000-07:00

I just love to learn, and I take every opportunity to do so. This kept me thinking about all the people from whom I have learnt something. In fact, the reality is that every encounter is a learning experience.

I find it absolutely fascinating that we are so very much knowledgeable and talented, all of us, children and adults alike, not to mention older people who shower us with so much wisdom. This, then, makes me appreciate everyone I encounter, especially when my first impression of the person is weak or negative. When this happens, I usually say to myself: I bet this person makes a mean brownie; or, I bet this person is a great singer; or I bet this person is a great philanthropist.

Actually, this is a game I love to play. Examples abound; for instance, in the movie " Ocean's Eleven" there is the little Chinese guy, as they call him. Well, imagine seeing this guy in the subway. You think: this is a little Chinese guy. That is it. As a first impression, the guy is obviously insignificant. He is only a little Chinese guy. But think about what he can do. How incredibly talented he is! There is nothing this little Chinese guy cannot do in what relates to movement and acrobatics. He is fantastic, indeed. Now, come to think of it, this whole movie is about ordinary people demonstrating their talents in different ways, regardless of the reasons for doing so, but never mind that.

Anyway, appreciating others may be a difficult game to play, especially when we are not in a good mood to begin with, or if someone has just pushed our buttons in some way. It is even more difficult to play it when we are dealing with people we know and love. But it is especially during these negative moments that this game should be played; to remove us from that negative vibe. When we do it, we let go of judgment and find ourselves in a place of unconditional acceptance.

So how do we play this game? I would suggest getting a notebook. If this is too much, then a piece of paper will do. If you don't have one available, say, when you are in traffic, just verbalize. The process is simple: write the name of the person if you know it. If you don't know, visualize the person, or think of anything else that will remind you of the person. Then, think about something that this person does that you think is good, regardless of the behavior you now disaprove of.

It may be very difficult to find one thing, but, if you think hard enough, eventually you will find not only one, but several things that you can appreciate about the person. If nothing comes to mind, start by doing what I do, especially when someone provokes me in traffic: "I bet this person..." and you fill in the blank with something that is important to you or that you like. You can start small with an appreciation that has nothing to do with you, for instance, "I appreciate Janelle's dedication to her work," or "I appreciate Janelle's loyalty to her boss," etc. Even though you think the person's quality is ridiculous; write it down anyway. You will soon find that there are many more things that you indeed appreciate in the person. See if you can come up with five things at least. And do it every day, until your bad feeling subsides.

Now, why play the game? Because, it will dissolve our ill will and eventually it will make us feel better. That is what is matters, right? That we are happy?

Why do I subscribe to Happy News?

2005-09-24T20:30:00.000-07:00

Have you realized how very much the media bombard us with bad news?

I usually avoid the news, with the exception of reading my favorite magazines: The Week -- http://theweekmagazine.com -- and Ode Magazine-- http://www.odemagazine.com .
Why do I do that? Because I think that my life is already stressfull and full of complications as it is without the aggravation of negativism. Why add insult to injury?

I had a very good example today. I went to my son's school to help out prepare for a great fund-raising opportunity for his class. The person in charge, an extremely organized and dedicated woman, I must add, had the radio on NPR, a news program of some sort. Don't get me wrong, I love NPR! Why I listen to the classical music all the time; but I am not too keen on hearing voices on the radio; I much prefer listening to great music only.

Anyway, so here we are, making sandwiches, cutting fruit, organizing trays, and having a great conversation, the lot of us who volunteered for the early morning shift. Except that the background was this "noise" of men speaking about Hurricane Rita. Now, don't get me wrong again; I too, am concerned about this issue, except that I find that hearing about it all the time will not solve the problem and I'd rather take action when the opportunity arises.

At one point, I asked the others if it was all right to turn the radio off. That background noise was irritating me. Everybody agreed. Ah, the silence! We continued our conversation about the Katrina and how we were helping the cause. It was grand, until the coordinator came back and, not only turned the radio on but turned it up as well. Shucks! We could never hear a good or empowering word again.

And then I asked myself: why do people do this? What purpose does it really serve except to provoke terror and more stress? I can't understand. So, to counteract that negative part of the morning, I decided to put a link to Happy News here. It is really a great site. Check also those two magazines that I mentioned above. They give you news all right, in a palatable way, however. Happy reading!